WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:00.520 This name, amen. 00:01.220 --> 00:04.720 Amen, I wanna start at the beginning of this chapter again 00:04.720 --> 00:08.900 and the Bible has here in verse two, 00:09.020 --> 00:10.920 it says, the Pharisees came to him and asked him, 00:10.960 --> 00:13.260 is it lawful for man to put away his wife, tempting him? 00:13.420 --> 00:16.160 So this is actually mentioned in most of the gospels, 00:16.260 --> 00:18.140 this idea of can you put away your wife, 00:18.240 --> 00:19.280 which is the idea of divorce. 00:20.940 --> 00:24.120 And it says here, Jesus is responding 00:24.120 --> 00:25.200 and he answered and said to him, 00:25.580 --> 00:27.000 what did Moses command you? 00:27.420 --> 00:29.140 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill 00:29.140 --> 00:30.320 of divorcement to put her away 00:30.320 --> 00:31.800 and Jesus answered and said unto them 00:31.800 --> 00:33.220 for the hardness of your heart, 00:33.700 --> 00:35.880 he wrote you this precept, 00:36.240 --> 00:38.800 but from the beginning of the creation, 00:39.040 --> 00:40.800 God made them male and female. 00:41.560 --> 00:45.680 Now, they don't really necessarily answer the question 00:45.680 --> 00:48.400 correctly because Moses didn't just say 00:48.400 --> 00:52.980 you could just write a divorcement for any reason, 00:53.020 --> 00:54.420 there is a specific cause. 00:54.860 --> 00:57.500 But notice the questions kind of carefully crafted 00:57.500 --> 01:00.300 in the sense that, is it okay to do this? 01:00.400 --> 01:01.260 Is it lawful? 01:01.620 --> 01:03.440 And again, there's a difference between something 01:03.440 --> 01:05.780 that's legal and then something that's a good idea. 01:06.420 --> 01:07.700 Okay, not everything that's legal 01:07.700 --> 01:11.260 is always the best idea or what you should do, 01:11.760 --> 01:13.600 it's just a boundary in a sense. 01:14.140 --> 01:16.600 And God here is trying to say, 01:16.980 --> 01:19.860 yeah, technically you could put away your wife, 01:19.980 --> 01:22.280 it's lawful in certain capacity 01:22.280 --> 01:23.380 and we'll get to that in a minute, 01:23.460 --> 01:25.720 but he says, but from the beginning of the creation, 01:25.720 --> 01:26.700 God made them male and female, 01:26.880 --> 01:28.540 for this cause shall man leave his father and mother 01:28.540 --> 01:29.760 and cleave to his wife, 01:30.140 --> 01:31.040 they twain shall be one flesh, 01:31.140 --> 01:32.540 so then they are no more twain but one flesh, 01:32.920 --> 01:34.520 what they forgot to join together, 01:34.900 --> 01:36.140 let not man put a thunder. 01:36.260 --> 01:38.260 So in his answer, he's saying, 01:38.660 --> 01:40.640 yeah, technically you could legally, 01:41.180 --> 01:43.720 but you shouldn't because whatever God's joined together, 01:44.280 --> 01:46.520 you know, let man not put a thunder and so, 01:46.860 --> 01:48.680 or let not man put a thunder and so, 01:49.180 --> 01:50.980 you know, the answer to the question is, 01:51.060 --> 01:52.280 should you put your wife away? 01:52.960 --> 01:53.780 The answer is no. 01:54.300 --> 01:55.300 Is it legal? 01:56.160 --> 01:57.980 In some case it is legal, 01:58.100 --> 01:59.440 but that doesn't mean you should. 02:00.120 --> 02:01.400 And so the right answer is, 02:01.600 --> 02:02.840 Jesus is saying you shouldn't. 02:03.540 --> 02:04.800 Again, that's why as a pastor, 02:05.380 --> 02:09.060 I don't ever advocate for or recommend divorce 02:09.060 --> 02:09.620 for any reason. 02:10.360 --> 02:11.280 So, you know, again, 02:11.500 --> 02:13.480 I believe that's what Jesus is saying here too. 02:13.800 --> 02:15.280 Jesus is not saying, 02:15.580 --> 02:16.880 yeah, well technically it's legal, 02:17.380 --> 02:18.620 he's saying you shouldn't do it. 02:18.840 --> 02:21.780 He's saying, hey, God is saying that he's joined them, 02:21.860 --> 02:22.460 they're one flesh, 02:22.880 --> 02:24.600 so let's not put them asunder. 02:25.960 --> 02:28.600 And specifically, he tells us in verse 11 and 12, 02:28.820 --> 02:28.980 he says, 02:29.140 --> 02:29.560 and he saved them, 02:29.700 --> 02:31.340 whosoever shall put away his wife and mirror another, 02:31.720 --> 02:32.860 committed adultery against her. 02:32.900 --> 02:35.340 Now, there's different layers to sin. 02:35.780 --> 02:37.520 You know, there's sins that have escalation, 02:37.660 --> 02:39.600 you know, even in our modern society, 02:39.800 --> 02:40.820 we have first degree murder 02:40.820 --> 02:42.060 and we have second degree murder, 02:42.200 --> 02:42.940 we have manslaughter, 02:43.080 --> 02:45.080 we have different levels for sin. 02:45.500 --> 02:47.100 The same would exist with adultery 02:47.100 --> 02:49.140 in the sense that they're not, 02:49.260 --> 02:51.320 all forms of adultery are not the same 02:51.320 --> 02:53.180 and they don't have the same punishment. 02:54.080 --> 02:56.140 There's an adultery where a man sleeps 02:56.140 --> 02:57.200 with another man's wife, 02:57.760 --> 03:00.040 this is worthy of the death penalty, okay? 03:00.320 --> 03:03.160 A physical adultery that truly happens 03:03.160 --> 03:05.620 with another man's wife is the death penalty. 03:06.240 --> 03:08.740 Now the Bible doesn't have technically the death penalty 03:08.740 --> 03:10.860 for the other side of a man 03:11.300 --> 03:13.080 that just is with an unbetrothed woman, 03:13.080 --> 03:13.920 even though he's married. 03:14.180 --> 03:16.120 Doesn't mean that it's like less wicked, 03:16.440 --> 03:19.820 it's just not met with that particular punishment, okay? 03:19.820 --> 03:22.680 It's still adultery, it's still wrong, it's still wicked. 03:23.060 --> 03:24.340 It just doesn't have the death penalty 03:24.340 --> 03:26.380 for that explicitly mentioned in the Bible. 03:27.480 --> 03:30.620 And again, you know, there's other forms of adultery 03:30.620 --> 03:33.460 in the sense of, you know, a heart adultery. 03:33.780 --> 03:35.320 You know, the Bible talks about a heart adultery 03:35.320 --> 03:37.140 lusting after someone in your heart and mind. 03:37.540 --> 03:39.120 The Bible's not saying there's a death penalty 03:39.120 --> 03:40.000 for a thought crime. 03:40.740 --> 03:43.040 The Bible's also saying there's a form of adultery 03:43.580 --> 03:45.340 where you have been married 03:45.820 --> 03:47.620 and you become divorced 03:48.160 --> 03:50.780 and you end up marrying someone else. 03:51.240 --> 03:52.920 Well, in society's eyes, 03:53.360 --> 03:55.060 they might not consider that adultery, 03:55.400 --> 03:56.300 but God still does. 03:56.460 --> 03:58.360 It's a form of adultery in God's eyes. 03:58.680 --> 04:00.620 And so it's still wicked, it's still wrong. 04:00.920 --> 04:03.340 Doesn't mean that it's the death penalty again, okay? 04:03.440 --> 04:05.440 So, you know, we have to separate these ideas 04:05.900 --> 04:09.300 and realize like even though that is in a sense 04:09.300 --> 04:11.720 a form of adultery and a layer, 04:11.940 --> 04:12.640 it's a form of adultery, 04:12.680 --> 04:14.000 it's not the same as what would deserve 04:14.000 --> 04:15.920 the death penalty specifically, okay? 04:15.920 --> 04:17.600 So, there's a different layer here, 04:17.640 --> 04:18.880 but it's still wrong 04:18.880 --> 04:22.040 and it causes a form of adultery in a sense. 04:22.460 --> 04:24.560 And so we notice that, you know, 04:24.640 --> 04:28.780 not only though, is it a man putting away his wife 04:28.780 --> 04:30.440 or wife putting away her husband, 04:30.880 --> 04:32.280 or I'm sorry, it's both ways, right? 04:32.640 --> 04:34.760 Some people would think like it's one way, 04:35.020 --> 04:36.120 but notice it's both ways. 04:36.440 --> 04:37.800 Who's first shall put away his wife 04:37.800 --> 04:40.160 and marry another committed adultery against her 04:40.800 --> 04:42.760 and if a woman shall put away her husband 04:42.760 --> 04:44.580 and be married to another, she committed adultery. 04:44.580 --> 04:47.420 So, no matter who does the divorcing 04:48.380 --> 04:50.580 and no matter which angle you look at it, 04:50.600 --> 04:51.720 it's a form of adultery. 04:52.300 --> 04:53.660 Because some people would say, 04:53.840 --> 04:56.420 oh well, if you believe that the death penalty 04:56.420 --> 05:00.540 doesn't apply if a man were to, you know, 05:01.060 --> 05:03.840 have an adulterous relationship with an unmarried woman, 05:04.180 --> 05:05.020 that's not the death penalty, 05:05.500 --> 05:06.660 then it's not adultery or something, 05:06.800 --> 05:07.640 you know, it's still adultery 05:07.640 --> 05:09.740 and it's still wicked and it's still wrong 05:09.740 --> 05:11.320 and it should still be condemned, 05:11.680 --> 05:13.300 you know, equally in a sense, 05:13.300 --> 05:16.660 it's just not necessarily gonna see the same criminal code, 05:16.880 --> 05:18.380 the same criminal punishment, okay? 05:18.460 --> 05:19.680 And that's for a different conversation. 05:19.800 --> 05:21.040 I'm not really gonna focus on that, 05:21.180 --> 05:22.620 but I just wanna make it clear 05:22.620 --> 05:23.940 that even if you didn't believe 05:23.940 --> 05:26.360 in the criminal punishments being different, 05:26.860 --> 05:28.700 you know, or the same, it doesn't matter 05:28.700 --> 05:30.300 because in God's eyes, 05:30.620 --> 05:32.200 if a man divorces his wife 05:32.200 --> 05:33.020 and marries another woman, 05:33.100 --> 05:35.040 it's adultery against her, okay? 05:35.420 --> 05:37.340 So what would this imply then? 05:37.680 --> 05:39.060 This would imply though 05:39.700 --> 05:43.380 that all of the polygamous situations in the Bible 05:43.380 --> 05:44.900 were a form of adultery. 05:47.200 --> 05:48.560 If, think about it, 05:49.060 --> 05:52.960 like divorcing her didn't somehow make the new marriage 05:52.960 --> 05:54.420 like not adultery, 05:54.660 --> 05:56.980 then why would staying married and marrying another 05:56.980 --> 05:58.480 now magically not be adultery? 05:58.820 --> 06:01.300 Like it's even worse probably if you think about it, 06:01.620 --> 06:03.100 but no matter what, 06:03.560 --> 06:06.280 if a man is married and he has relations 06:06.280 --> 06:08.800 with another woman, it's adultery, okay? 06:09.120 --> 06:09.780 Same with a woman, 06:09.940 --> 06:11.360 go through to Romans chapter number seven 06:11.880 --> 06:13.240 and we'll see this kind of played out. 06:14.620 --> 06:16.980 Could men have multiple wives in the Old Testament? 06:17.620 --> 06:19.640 Well, they could physically, obviously they did. 06:19.920 --> 06:20.520 They did it. 06:20.840 --> 06:23.440 Does that mean it was lawful or legal? 06:24.000 --> 06:26.000 I would argue that you could say 06:26.000 --> 06:27.720 there wasn't a criminal punishment, 06:28.780 --> 06:30.120 but is that what they should have done? 06:30.300 --> 06:30.440 No. 06:31.020 --> 06:32.480 In the same way that Jesus is addressing, 06:32.640 --> 06:33.720 yeah, technically divorce, 06:33.720 --> 06:35.960 there's a provision for divorce in the Old Testament law, 06:36.260 --> 06:37.160 but should you do that? 06:37.360 --> 06:37.540 No. 06:37.960 --> 06:38.680 It's not right. 06:38.920 --> 06:39.600 You shouldn't do that. 06:39.740 --> 06:41.160 And it's a form of adultery. 06:41.760 --> 06:42.780 Today in America, 06:43.280 --> 06:44.700 you can get divorced legally 06:45.360 --> 06:47.220 and you can remarry someone else legally, 06:47.840 --> 06:48.700 but you know what? 06:48.780 --> 06:50.040 It's still adultery and it's still wrong. 06:51.040 --> 06:53.300 And so as a pastor advocating what the Bible teaches, 06:53.580 --> 06:56.580 I will not endorse that and I will not help that. 06:56.880 --> 06:58.620 So I'll never counsel someone to divorce. 06:59.260 --> 07:00.900 I won't counsel someone to remarry 07:00.900 --> 07:02.960 and I will not perform a marriage 07:03.510 --> 07:04.780 to someone that's been divorced 07:04.780 --> 07:06.360 while their spouse is still alive. 07:06.900 --> 07:08.460 So if someone gets divorced 07:09.700 --> 07:13.340 and the person they divorced from is still alive, 07:13.800 --> 07:15.320 I would not perform a marriage ceremony. 07:15.880 --> 07:18.160 Now, if they got divorced and their spouse died, 07:18.640 --> 07:21.360 then I think that you could technically marry that person, 07:21.540 --> 07:23.780 but I would not perform a marriage ceremony 07:24.390 --> 07:26.680 in the sense that they have a living spouse 07:26.680 --> 07:28.540 because then I'm participating in 07:28.540 --> 07:30.740 and helping them commit adultery. 07:31.080 --> 07:32.420 And that's what the Bible is saying 07:32.420 --> 07:33.880 that Jesus is warning against here, 07:34.200 --> 07:35.200 that that's a form of adultery. 07:35.280 --> 07:36.660 Look at Romans 7 verse one, 07:36.800 --> 07:37.480 No ye not brethren, 07:38.440 --> 07:40.160 for I speak to them that know the law, 07:40.760 --> 07:42.060 how that the law hath the minion 07:42.060 --> 07:43.740 over a man as long as he liveth. 07:44.020 --> 07:45.240 For the woman which hath a husband 07:45.240 --> 07:46.580 is bound by the law to her husband 07:46.580 --> 07:47.640 so long as he liveth. 07:47.940 --> 07:48.940 But if the husband be dead, 07:49.080 --> 07:50.460 she is loosed from the law of her husband. 07:50.920 --> 07:53.980 So then if while her husband liveth, 07:54.220 --> 07:56.140 she be married to another man, 07:56.140 --> 07:58.920 she shall be called an adulteress. 07:59.420 --> 08:00.720 But if her husband be dead, 08:00.840 --> 08:01.700 she is free from that law 08:01.700 --> 08:03.080 so that she is no adulteress 08:03.080 --> 08:04.060 though she be married to another man. 08:04.520 --> 08:05.360 According to the Bible, 08:05.860 --> 08:08.000 a woman who has been married 08:08.000 --> 08:08.940 and divorced from her husband, 08:09.100 --> 08:09.780 even if it's legal, 08:10.680 --> 08:12.340 as long as that guy is alive, 08:12.780 --> 08:14.940 she is according to the Bible an adulteress. 08:15.480 --> 08:17.300 And again, that is not my personal opinion. 08:17.840 --> 08:19.920 That is what the Bible says flat out. 08:20.220 --> 08:21.500 It's a form of adultery. 08:21.600 --> 08:23.940 Now, I don't think that you're just 08:23.940 --> 08:27.200 in this constant state of your committing adultery. 08:27.480 --> 08:28.940 I believe it was the initial act 08:28.940 --> 08:31.840 of getting remarried and consummating that marriage. 08:32.100 --> 08:33.540 That was the act of adultery. 08:33.920 --> 08:36.540 Since then, you should still stay with that person. 08:36.980 --> 08:38.940 And I'm not advocating like get divorced again 08:39.380 --> 08:40.800 or get away from that spouse. 08:41.100 --> 08:43.520 And the Bible forbids going back to the old spouse. 08:43.920 --> 08:46.740 But you could be called an adulteress. 08:46.800 --> 08:48.420 Just like if you commit murder one time, 08:48.780 --> 08:49.820 even though you haven't committed 08:49.820 --> 08:50.940 any more murder in the future, 08:51.200 --> 08:52.300 you're still called a murderer. 08:52.710 --> 08:55.180 In the same way that you could be called an adulteress 08:55.180 --> 08:57.080 because you committed the act of adultery 08:57.080 --> 08:59.280 by getting remarried and by consummating 08:59.280 --> 09:00.260 that marriage with someone else, 09:00.600 --> 09:02.280 you're an adulteress because you did that act. 09:02.740 --> 09:05.240 Again, I'm not going around and like, 09:05.400 --> 09:06.440 hey, my name's John. 09:06.580 --> 09:07.020 What's your name? 09:07.140 --> 09:07.580 Have you been divorced? 09:07.840 --> 09:08.580 Oh, you're an adulteress. 09:09.240 --> 09:10.900 You know, I'm not like that. 09:11.080 --> 09:11.740 But you know what? 09:11.780 --> 09:12.660 I will preach what the Bible says. 09:13.540 --> 09:15.080 And if someone came up to me and said, 09:15.200 --> 09:16.580 so am I an adulteress? 09:16.780 --> 09:17.640 I'd be like, yes. 09:18.100 --> 09:19.220 The answer is yes. 09:19.580 --> 09:21.260 I don't necessarily have to tell everybody that. 09:21.260 --> 09:22.700 I don't have to wear a t-shirt. 09:23.260 --> 09:25.300 You know, I'm with the adulteress or something like that. 09:25.500 --> 09:27.040 You know, it's just like, hey, 09:27.080 --> 09:30.100 but at the end of the day, it's like, it's the facts. 09:30.440 --> 09:32.040 It's the reality of the situation. 09:32.560 --> 09:34.720 And I want to go to Matthew chapter five 09:34.720 --> 09:36.640 because I'm just kind of giving you 09:36.640 --> 09:37.700 an introduction of the sermon. 09:38.900 --> 09:41.960 I'm making some clear principles though in the Bible. 09:42.400 --> 09:45.660 If you get married and then you have a divorce 09:45.660 --> 09:47.360 and you're with someone else, it's adultery. 09:49.460 --> 09:53.960 Now, some people would say, okay, well, I'll get a divorce, 09:54.880 --> 09:56.720 but I'm not gonna remarry. 09:57.440 --> 09:59.060 So I'm not gonna commit adultery. 10:00.180 --> 10:02.140 But listen to what the Bible actually says. 10:02.240 --> 10:04.520 And listen to what Jesus actually says. 10:04.840 --> 10:06.700 Matthew chapter five, verse 32. 10:07.240 --> 10:07.900 But I say to you that, 10:08.120 --> 10:09.800 whose service shall put away his wife 10:10.540 --> 10:12.540 saving for the cause of fornication? 10:12.700 --> 10:13.260 Notice this word. 10:14.200 --> 10:16.540 Causeth her to commit adultery 10:16.920 --> 10:18.120 and whose service shall marry her 10:18.120 --> 10:19.360 that his divorce committed adultery? 10:19.820 --> 10:22.440 Notice it's saying that the divorce itself 10:22.440 --> 10:24.340 is gonna cause adultery. 10:24.780 --> 10:26.740 Now, what does that mean? 10:27.520 --> 10:32.320 Well, again, I don't think the divorce is not the adultery. 10:32.800 --> 10:34.460 It's not, it's being with someone else. 10:34.800 --> 10:38.380 But the reality is that we live in a fallen world 10:38.380 --> 10:41.200 and a sinful world and when people get divorced, 10:41.480 --> 10:45.020 they don't become celibate monks and nuns. 10:45.020 --> 10:46.000 It just doesn't happen. 10:46.540 --> 10:47.740 And so as a result, 10:48.100 --> 10:50.080 you're gonna end up causing them to commit adultery. 10:50.820 --> 10:53.340 It's like, if you never cook food at home, 10:53.680 --> 10:55.000 you're not gonna just not eat. 10:56.320 --> 10:57.140 You're gonna eat. 10:57.560 --> 10:59.780 You're gonna eat junky fast food and whatever. 10:59.940 --> 11:00.580 You're gonna eat out. 11:00.860 --> 11:01.800 I mean, that's just the reality. 11:02.640 --> 11:04.120 Whosoever doesn't eat at home 11:04.580 --> 11:07.060 causes them to eat outside the home. 11:07.580 --> 11:10.080 But it'd be silly to be like, oh, we don't eat at home. 11:10.200 --> 11:11.300 We just decided to stop eating. 11:12.940 --> 11:14.840 Like, that's an unrealistic thing 11:14.840 --> 11:16.680 and it's just not very practical. 11:17.340 --> 11:20.300 You know, you could argue that some people are unique 11:20.300 --> 11:22.420 and that there's some people that are so old 11:22.420 --> 11:24.880 that maybe this is just not the case or whatever. 11:25.460 --> 11:28.280 And again, you could show me an exception, maybe, 11:28.500 --> 11:30.200 but he's not preaching the exception here. 11:30.240 --> 11:31.000 He's preaching the rule. 11:31.240 --> 11:33.060 And the rule is, and the reality is, 11:33.160 --> 11:34.860 that people that get divorced commit adultery. 11:34.960 --> 11:36.220 And it's just that fact, okay? 11:36.640 --> 11:38.200 So that's why you don't commit adultery. 11:38.580 --> 11:39.300 I'm sorry, you don't divorce 11:39.300 --> 11:42.500 because you're just gonna end up doing a worse sin, 11:42.700 --> 11:44.440 which is in fact adultery. 11:45.220 --> 11:48.380 Now, I wanna go to, let's go to Judges chapter 14 11:48.380 --> 11:48.820 for a moment. 11:50.120 --> 11:53.120 So a lot of badness, a lot of preachers will 11:53.540 --> 11:55.600 at least understand like divorce is wrong 11:55.600 --> 11:58.320 and you shouldn't advocate for divorce for the most part. 11:58.760 --> 12:01.280 And they don't wanna be on the hook 12:01.280 --> 12:03.800 for having given this advice of committing a divorce 12:03.800 --> 12:06.360 because then you're leading them to adultery, 12:06.460 --> 12:06.800 in a sense. 12:07.320 --> 12:09.380 But what they'll then say is they're like, 12:09.440 --> 12:10.440 well, you should just separate. 12:11.680 --> 12:14.360 But here's what I believe the Bible's showing 12:14.360 --> 12:16.640 and clear examples in the Bible is that separation 12:17.340 --> 12:19.320 and divorce cause adultery. 12:19.840 --> 12:21.960 Okay, we already had an explicit statement here 12:21.960 --> 12:24.040 that said, divorce causes adultery. 12:24.440 --> 12:27.360 But what I'm gonna show you is that every example 12:27.360 --> 12:28.940 that I can find in the Bible 12:29.480 --> 12:31.440 of people separating from their spouse, 12:31.960 --> 12:35.680 albeit maybe they didn't get the legal divorce document, 12:35.680 --> 12:37.120 they ended up committing adultery. 12:37.600 --> 12:40.320 So just every single example in the Bible 12:40.320 --> 12:41.480 is pointing it in one direction. 12:42.060 --> 12:44.460 And then Jesus is saying in the same vein that like, 12:44.520 --> 12:47.580 hey, when you divorce, it's just an inevitable reality 12:47.580 --> 12:48.840 that you're causing them to commit adultery. 12:49.460 --> 12:53.060 My concern and my advice would be don't do this 12:53.060 --> 12:55.380 because you're more than likely gonna cause adultery. 12:56.320 --> 12:58.780 Is it humanly possible that it doesn't happen? 12:58.940 --> 13:00.580 Sure, is there a technical exception? 13:00.780 --> 13:02.420 Yes, but you're not the exception, you're the rule. 13:02.640 --> 13:03.900 So quit worrying about the exception 13:04.440 --> 13:08.660 and don't take world's advice of separating even. 13:09.020 --> 13:10.520 Because they're like, oh, well, 13:10.780 --> 13:12.540 we're not gonna divorce, we're just gonna separate. 13:13.340 --> 13:15.640 But look, in these examples in the Bible, 13:15.980 --> 13:19.080 when people separate, adultery just ensues so quickly 13:19.580 --> 13:23.560 and so often because it's just reality, okay? 13:24.000 --> 13:26.500 The whole reason why you avoided fornication 13:27.560 --> 13:29.660 or the only reason or the way you did it 13:29.660 --> 13:31.260 was by getting married, okay? 13:31.260 --> 13:33.320 So when you just are separating, 13:33.700 --> 13:35.340 now that's off the table again 13:35.340 --> 13:36.980 and you're just basically giving yourself 13:36.980 --> 13:39.060 an opportunity for the devil to tempt you 13:39.060 --> 13:40.200 for your incontinency. 13:40.960 --> 13:42.960 Incontinency is a lack of self-control. 13:44.040 --> 13:47.240 And a lack of self-control is a reality for all people. 13:47.740 --> 13:49.880 There's not someone that's just so spiritual, 13:50.520 --> 13:53.360 so godly that they cannot be attempted with this. 13:53.820 --> 13:56.060 You know, if you just live apart from your spouse, 13:56.200 --> 13:57.200 you separate from your spouse 13:57.200 --> 13:59.540 and you're not gonna have that physical relationship, 13:59.540 --> 14:01.200 the chances of you committing adultery 14:01.200 --> 14:03.840 are just almost a statistical probability 14:03.840 --> 14:05.700 and that's what Jesus is bringing up. 14:06.020 --> 14:08.180 He said it, I'm just embracing it. 14:08.540 --> 14:10.140 So the title of my sermon again is 14:10.140 --> 14:12.880 Separation and Divorce, Cause, Adultery. 14:12.980 --> 14:15.480 Let me prove this to you repeatedly in the Bible. 14:15.940 --> 14:17.620 Judges chapter 14, look at verse 16. 14:18.200 --> 14:19.800 And Samson's wife wept before him 14:19.800 --> 14:22.900 and said, does that but hate me and love is me not? 14:23.360 --> 14:25.120 That's before the riddle into the children of my people 14:25.120 --> 14:26.000 and has not told it me. 14:26.360 --> 14:27.300 And he said, and there behold, 14:27.300 --> 14:29.980 I have not told it my father nor my mother 14:30.460 --> 14:31.400 and shall I tell it thee? 14:31.840 --> 14:33.200 And she wept before him the seven days 14:33.200 --> 14:34.380 while their feasts lasted 14:34.380 --> 14:35.960 and it came to pass on the seventh day 14:35.960 --> 14:38.300 that he told her because she lay sore upon him 14:38.760 --> 14:40.560 and she told the riddle to the children of her people. 14:40.840 --> 14:42.760 Now this is bad because it kind of proves 14:42.760 --> 14:44.120 that nagging works, you know? 14:44.180 --> 14:46.020 And it's just like, it's really annoying, 14:46.420 --> 14:49.980 but notice she just nags him for seven days straight 14:49.980 --> 14:51.720 to the point where he doesn't even care anymore. 14:51.800 --> 14:53.220 He just tells her whatever. 14:54.320 --> 14:56.280 This is why, you know, we should be careful 14:56.280 --> 15:00.220 with, you know, forced confessions under torture, okay? 15:00.380 --> 15:03.540 Because notice you'll say anything whenever being tortured. 15:03.960 --> 15:05.480 And so he was just being tortured. 15:05.620 --> 15:08.060 He tells her verse 18 of the minutes that he said on him 15:08.060 --> 15:09.660 on the seventh day before the sun went down, 15:09.840 --> 15:11.000 what is sweeter than honey? 15:11.060 --> 15:12.100 What is stronger than a lion? 15:12.260 --> 15:14.320 And he said to them, if I have not plowed with my heifer, 15:14.640 --> 15:15.700 you've not found on my riddle. 15:15.920 --> 15:17.220 And the spirit of Lord came upon him 15:17.220 --> 15:18.220 and he went down to Ashkelon 15:18.220 --> 15:19.300 and slew 30 men of them 15:19.300 --> 15:21.360 and took their spoil and gave change of garments 15:21.360 --> 15:23.460 unto them which expounded the riddle. 15:23.720 --> 15:25.120 And his anger was kindled 15:25.120 --> 15:26.980 and he went up to his father's house. 15:27.160 --> 15:32.140 So Samson, you can kind of see they have like an argument, right? 15:32.420 --> 15:34.760 He gets mad at his wife 15:34.760 --> 15:36.760 and there's kind of this like tiff or whatever. 15:37.160 --> 15:38.380 And then obviously he gets so mad, 15:38.540 --> 15:40.200 he just, you know, kills people or whatever, right? 15:40.680 --> 15:45.880 And then he's like, he's having to pay for her mistake. 15:46.160 --> 15:48.160 You know, he's paying for this issue or whatever. 15:48.400 --> 15:51.280 He makes a bet and he loses the bet 15:51.280 --> 15:53.080 because his wife, you know, rats him out, 15:53.200 --> 15:54.020 betrays him, whatever. 15:54.720 --> 15:55.900 Obviously he's super pissed. 15:56.280 --> 15:57.160 So he doesn't even come home. 15:57.360 --> 15:58.500 He just goes back to his parents. 15:58.580 --> 15:59.260 So they have an argument, 15:59.500 --> 16:02.520 there's a bad, bad mojo between them. 16:02.800 --> 16:03.720 And then it says in verse 20, 16:03.840 --> 16:05.560 but Samson's wife was given to his companion 16:05.560 --> 16:06.480 whom he uses as a friend. 16:06.760 --> 16:08.720 So it's like their first argument, 16:09.380 --> 16:11.560 they have one argument, he goes home 16:11.560 --> 16:15.060 and then immediately his wife is just with another dude. 16:16.200 --> 16:17.000 Just instantly. 16:17.460 --> 16:19.060 And then in chapter 15 verse one, 16:19.260 --> 16:21.040 but it came to pass within a while after 16:21.620 --> 16:22.700 in the time of wheat harvest, 16:22.800 --> 16:24.460 Samson visited his wife with a kid. 16:25.060 --> 16:26.700 So he's trying to make up. 16:27.600 --> 16:30.820 He's like, all right, I was mad, I went home, 16:31.020 --> 16:33.040 I blew up some steam, but now I'm gonna, you know, 16:33.520 --> 16:36.080 I still like her, I'm gonna bring her home a present. 16:37.020 --> 16:39.880 And he said, I will go into my wife into the chamber. 16:40.440 --> 16:41.580 Why is he coming back? 16:44.080 --> 16:46.060 I didn't write the Bible, okay? 16:46.840 --> 16:49.060 What's the whole reason he's coming back? 16:49.560 --> 16:51.980 Is he wanna tell her more jokes and riddles? 16:53.960 --> 16:55.900 Is he, he's like, I just wanna hang out 16:55.900 --> 16:57.480 and let's just talk about riddles more. 16:58.100 --> 17:00.200 No, there's a reason why people get married folks. 17:00.800 --> 17:03.340 And at least Samson is wanting to return 17:03.340 --> 17:04.580 for the whole reason that the marriage 17:04.580 --> 17:05.700 was there in the first place. 17:06.160 --> 17:07.900 He's even given her a gift, you know, 17:08.460 --> 17:09.940 he's gonna bring her something. 17:10.200 --> 17:12.360 But it says, but her father would not suffer him 17:12.360 --> 17:12.820 to go in. 17:13.220 --> 17:14.860 And her father said, I barely thought 17:14.860 --> 17:16.920 that thou hath utterly hated her. 17:17.480 --> 17:19.320 Therefore I gave her to thy companion. 17:20.040 --> 17:21.960 Is not her younger sister fair than she? 17:22.320 --> 17:23.660 Take her, I pray thee, instead of her. 17:24.700 --> 17:27.060 So, you know, it's just like, 17:27.760 --> 17:29.580 Samson is just kind of caught off guard. 17:30.100 --> 17:32.880 Dad just totally just did a Swaperoo. 17:33.000 --> 17:35.420 And it just becomes now a country music album, you know? 17:35.800 --> 17:39.060 And it's just like, whatever's going on is confusing. 17:39.660 --> 17:41.440 And notice he even offers the sister. 17:41.880 --> 17:44.060 So it just kind of becomes this like weird 17:44.060 --> 17:46.480 country music song or something like that. 17:47.020 --> 17:48.800 But you know, Samson doesn't want that. 17:49.600 --> 17:52.180 Samson doesn't end up marrying the sister 17:52.180 --> 17:53.060 or taking the sister. 17:53.540 --> 17:55.640 And then because of the whole, you know, 17:56.000 --> 17:58.080 just situation that happened, 17:58.380 --> 18:00.200 the Philistines ended up killing his wife 18:00.200 --> 18:01.660 and killing her dad. 18:01.980 --> 18:03.400 And it's just a train wreck. 18:03.860 --> 18:05.260 It's just complete train wreck. 18:05.740 --> 18:07.740 So notice, here's an example of separation. 18:08.100 --> 18:08.780 Did it go well? 18:10.100 --> 18:12.100 Let's learn some of the lessons from this separation. 18:12.620 --> 18:14.460 He separate, they get an argument. 18:14.720 --> 18:16.920 So he goes home to dad and then all of a sudden 18:16.920 --> 18:21.260 adultery ensues, then the dad doesn't even want them 18:21.260 --> 18:22.320 to be in a relationship anymore. 18:22.820 --> 18:25.460 Then he's offered like a total another relationship, 18:25.940 --> 18:26.600 a sister. 18:27.220 --> 18:28.220 It's just confusing. 18:28.680 --> 18:29.300 It's weird. 18:29.780 --> 18:32.000 It turns into a train wreck, death ensues. 18:32.340 --> 18:34.800 And of course, what is the penalty for adultery 18:34.800 --> 18:35.800 according to the Old Testament law? 18:35.920 --> 18:36.040 Death. 18:36.500 --> 18:38.340 And even though man doesn't enact that, 18:38.520 --> 18:40.820 God just does it anyways and kills them. 18:41.220 --> 18:42.500 You know, in the book of Revelation, 18:42.800 --> 18:45.240 there's a woman that's seducing people 18:45.240 --> 18:47.180 to commit fornication, Jezebel. 18:47.780 --> 18:51.320 And the Bible says that God's gonna take everyone 18:51.320 --> 18:53.220 that's committing adultery with her, 18:53.280 --> 18:56.900 meaning maybe directly with her or just in company with her. 18:57.200 --> 18:58.420 And he's gonna throw them in a bed 18:58.420 --> 19:00.560 and kill them all with their children with death. 19:01.280 --> 19:02.580 So it's, you know, God, 19:03.180 --> 19:04.560 he can still enact his justice 19:04.560 --> 19:06.140 even if man doesn't carry it out. 19:06.500 --> 19:08.340 And so that's why you don't want to separate 19:08.340 --> 19:11.420 because you're just opening the door for infidelity. 19:11.840 --> 19:13.280 You're opening the door for adultery. 19:13.620 --> 19:14.960 You're opening the door for divorce. 19:15.220 --> 19:16.440 You're opening the door for all these things. 19:16.700 --> 19:19.140 And look, I've seen it, unfortunately, 19:19.420 --> 19:22.320 so many times play out where people separate 19:22.880 --> 19:25.140 and it just leads to some kind of adultery. 19:25.560 --> 19:27.460 Leads is some kind of an infidelity. 19:28.460 --> 19:30.480 And usually once that happens, 19:31.060 --> 19:32.160 then it's irreconcilable. 19:33.400 --> 19:35.700 I can think of at least one example 19:36.260 --> 19:38.300 that I know of where a couple separated 19:38.980 --> 19:40.300 and they were living apart 19:42.080 --> 19:44.420 and a level of infidelity ensued. 19:44.780 --> 19:46.860 I don't know that it was necessarily extreme, 19:46.940 --> 19:49.120 but it was a certain level of infidelity that involved. 19:49.800 --> 19:51.000 Then they ran out of money 19:51.700 --> 19:53.160 so they had to live together again. 19:54.380 --> 19:56.780 They weren't in the same rooms, you know, or whatever. 19:57.040 --> 19:59.140 I think the guy had to sleep in the closet or something, 19:59.220 --> 20:02.180 but they ended up reconciling 20:02.180 --> 20:03.100 and their marriage was fine again. 20:03.360 --> 20:05.300 Okay, so I can think of like one scenario 20:05.300 --> 20:07.180 where it kind of, but again, 20:07.820 --> 20:09.360 it's a dark part of their history. 20:09.540 --> 20:10.620 It's a dark part of their past 20:10.620 --> 20:12.820 and I'm sure they didn't like some of the things they did 20:12.820 --> 20:16.360 and even a little bit of some weird shady stuff 20:16.360 --> 20:17.840 went down in that period of time. 20:18.100 --> 20:19.380 It's not a high point. 20:20.340 --> 20:22.900 Almost every other scenario that I know of 20:22.900 --> 20:25.320 from personal experience or counseling or whatever, 20:25.740 --> 20:28.520 it almost always ended in some extreme forms 20:28.520 --> 20:29.900 of adultery, infidelity, 20:30.260 --> 20:32.980 and it was a total train wreck and complete crash out 20:32.980 --> 20:35.000 and just you don't want anything to do with it. 20:35.360 --> 20:37.660 And it's like, this is what the Bible is showing in examples 20:37.660 --> 20:39.880 and this is what I see in real life. 20:40.500 --> 20:43.240 And so anytime someone has come to me and said, 20:43.300 --> 20:45.180 hey, we're thinking about separating, 20:45.580 --> 20:47.960 taking a time away from each other, taking a break, 20:48.300 --> 20:50.200 what any of these words that you wanna use, 20:50.520 --> 20:53.000 I'm always just like, no, bad idea, 20:53.680 --> 20:56.220 don't do it, don't get away from each other. 20:56.940 --> 20:58.700 I don't ever recommend it. 20:59.920 --> 21:02.860 And just separation in general is just unhealthy 21:03.780 --> 21:08.240 even if you're not separating because you're mad at each other. 21:08.480 --> 21:10.660 Just separation in general is not a positive thing. 21:10.840 --> 21:11.820 That's why you should even be careful 21:11.820 --> 21:13.920 if you have a job where you're traveling a lot 21:14.360 --> 21:17.020 or you're alone a lot or you're away from each other a lot. 21:17.140 --> 21:18.840 This is a dangerous thing, okay? 21:19.860 --> 21:22.060 There was a story that I've heard. 21:22.200 --> 21:26.120 There was a pastor of a church in Oklahoma 21:27.060 --> 21:29.300 and he recently resigned. 21:29.740 --> 21:32.740 He stepped down and there's been multiple public statements 21:32.740 --> 21:34.200 about this person stepping down. 21:34.660 --> 21:36.560 The person admitted to committing adultery 21:37.100 --> 21:38.260 and their public statement. 21:38.940 --> 21:41.240 So I don't know the exact details 21:41.240 --> 21:44.660 but a lot of people have said online what the details were. 21:45.260 --> 21:46.920 And so this is just the hearsay 21:46.920 --> 21:49.980 but there's multiple reports of what has happened. 21:50.320 --> 21:52.440 I can't say for sure exactly what it is 21:52.440 --> 21:55.040 but what's crazy is read the story in Judges 21:55.040 --> 21:56.740 and you're like, this would never happen 21:56.740 --> 21:58.980 or like being offered a sister is kind of weird 21:58.980 --> 22:01.120 but in this particular situation, 22:01.340 --> 22:03.420 what's being rumored is that this pastor 22:03.420 --> 22:05.960 was committing adultery with his secretary, okay? 22:06.480 --> 22:07.880 And then the pastor got her pregnant. 22:08.820 --> 22:10.300 Then he sent her away. 22:11.080 --> 22:13.320 Then he was committing adultery with her sister. 22:14.120 --> 22:15.980 Let alone potentially other women 22:15.980 --> 22:17.660 and other potential issues. 22:18.180 --> 22:20.740 Now this pastor, what he would do is 22:20.740 --> 22:22.960 he would tell his congregation on a repeated basis 22:22.960 --> 22:26.680 that he needed spiritual retreats, okay? 22:28.060 --> 22:29.780 And he said that what a spiritual retreat was, 22:30.020 --> 22:31.920 he needed to be away from all technology. 22:32.540 --> 22:35.300 So away from his phone and email and whatever 22:35.300 --> 22:37.700 and he needed to just go somewhere that no one knew 22:37.700 --> 22:41.720 including his wife, that he would just disappear 22:41.720 --> 22:45.400 for a week or weeks where no one knows where he is, 22:45.800 --> 22:48.420 no technology with him that we know of. 22:48.840 --> 22:51.160 You know, he's not gonna answer his phone or his email, 22:51.700 --> 22:53.380 no life 360 or whatever. 22:53.840 --> 22:56.520 Look, this is a weird idea, okay? 22:57.120 --> 23:01.020 And anyone that's suggesting this has ulterior motives, okay? 23:01.600 --> 23:02.740 That's something really bizarre. 23:03.020 --> 23:04.960 Now look, if you wanna take you and your family 23:04.960 --> 23:07.880 on a trip out into the woods and go hiking 23:07.880 --> 23:10.520 and you wanna turn the phones off, I'm all for it, okay? 23:10.860 --> 23:14.340 But a married man doesn't just wanna disappear for weeks 23:14.340 --> 23:18.560 with no technology just to get close to God, okay? 23:19.880 --> 23:21.740 That's just not real, okay? 23:22.320 --> 23:24.580 It's just weird, it's confusing. 23:25.600 --> 23:28.280 And so, you know, be careful of this kind of stuff. 23:28.520 --> 23:29.640 You know, you should have accountability. 23:30.340 --> 23:32.360 You should wanna be around your spouse. 23:32.500 --> 23:34.260 You should wanna be near them, you know? 23:34.320 --> 23:36.220 And again, because we all have needs 23:36.220 --> 23:37.940 and this is an important issue 23:37.940 --> 23:40.800 and you know, separation is gonna cause adultery. 23:41.620 --> 23:43.880 We see this playing out in all kinds of situations. 23:44.080 --> 23:46.400 You know, it's funny is this person was part 23:46.400 --> 23:49.040 of a major Bible college, a big movement, 23:49.460 --> 23:52.900 a big Baptist church, larger than our church, 23:53.120 --> 23:55.320 really well known and it's like no one hears about 23:55.320 --> 23:55.920 or talks about it. 23:56.160 --> 23:57.460 Like if that happened in our church, 23:57.660 --> 24:00.800 it would be on so many videos and newspapers 24:00.800 --> 24:03.580 and everything and it's just like, you know, 24:03.800 --> 24:05.540 there's a two-way street out there. 24:05.760 --> 24:08.040 The people not really making a big way 24:08.040 --> 24:09.500 with soul winning and all those other stuff, 24:09.600 --> 24:10.920 they get away with all kinds of nonsense 24:11.350 --> 24:12.700 because nobody cares about them or whatever. 24:13.760 --> 24:15.360 You always act like, oh, the new IP has drama. 24:15.360 --> 24:17.340 These places have worse drama. 24:17.560 --> 24:18.500 It's just, you don't know about it. 24:18.860 --> 24:19.260 Okay. 24:20.040 --> 24:21.540 You just don't know what's going on. 24:21.660 --> 24:23.480 Oh, they cover it up so that makes them better. 24:23.660 --> 24:24.680 How does that make them better? 24:25.260 --> 24:27.120 Go with the first Samuel, chapter number 25. 24:27.260 --> 24:28.020 Go to first Samuel 25. 24:28.960 --> 24:30.600 Don't believe this idea that like, 24:30.660 --> 24:34.100 oh, your church has drama, other churches don't. 24:34.360 --> 24:35.440 That's not even true at all. 24:36.040 --> 24:36.360 Okay. 24:36.960 --> 24:39.160 I would even bet that in many cases 24:39.160 --> 24:40.200 we have way less drama. 24:40.600 --> 24:41.980 It's just, we know about all of ours. 24:42.300 --> 24:44.240 You just don't even know what's really going on 24:44.240 --> 24:45.400 in these other places. 24:46.320 --> 24:49.860 First Samuel, chapter 25, look at verse 40. 24:50.260 --> 24:52.060 In fact, one of our lawyers was telling me 24:52.800 --> 24:54.020 there was a church at one time 24:54.840 --> 24:56.740 disciplined a lady for committing adultery 24:57.340 --> 24:59.460 and she was in an adulterous relationship 24:59.460 --> 25:00.520 she would not get out of. 25:00.820 --> 25:04.060 And then she sued the church for church discipline 25:04.060 --> 25:05.780 even though she was committing adultery. 25:05.940 --> 25:07.460 And it's just like wild, you know. 25:07.560 --> 25:09.440 It's just crazy stuff is happening all the time. 25:10.040 --> 25:11.160 First Samuel, chapter 25. 25:11.240 --> 25:12.600 They actually tried to do church discipline. 25:12.600 --> 25:13.300 Praise God. 25:13.580 --> 25:15.680 And then it's like, she sues them for it, right? 25:17.620 --> 25:19.000 Looking for a Samuel 25, verse 40. 25:19.140 --> 25:20.160 It says that when the servants of David 25:20.160 --> 25:21.640 were come to Abigail to Carmel, 25:21.760 --> 25:22.820 they spake unto her saying, 25:23.300 --> 25:26.480 David sent us unto thee to take thee to him to wife. 25:27.000 --> 25:27.340 Now here's the thing, 25:27.440 --> 25:30.900 David is married to my cow, but what happens? 25:31.420 --> 25:33.340 He leaves his wife behind and they separate. 25:34.240 --> 25:34.460 Okay. 25:34.960 --> 25:36.040 Now they didn't even separate 25:36.040 --> 25:37.320 because they got in an argument. 25:38.000 --> 25:40.000 They didn't separate because they were mad at each other. 25:40.200 --> 25:41.860 The text has nothing to indicate 25:41.860 --> 25:45.460 that there was any problem in their marriage at that point, 25:45.640 --> 25:46.840 but they just separate. 25:47.280 --> 25:47.760 And here's the thing, 25:47.860 --> 25:50.680 just living apart is a dangerous lifestyle. 25:51.440 --> 25:52.540 It's not the right kind of lifestyle. 25:52.900 --> 25:54.640 And you know, why didn't my cow just go with them? 25:56.480 --> 25:57.580 Because Abigail's with them. 25:58.140 --> 25:59.560 I mean, there's women out there with them. 25:59.600 --> 26:01.120 It's not like there wasn't women with them. 26:01.280 --> 26:03.300 It's not like their wives weren't traveling with them. 26:03.680 --> 26:05.440 It's just, she's not with them. 26:05.480 --> 26:05.900 And you know what? 26:06.420 --> 26:07.100 Bad deal. 26:08.000 --> 26:10.100 And as a result, takes on Abigail, 26:10.100 --> 26:13.200 takes on a Hinoem the Jezrelytus as well. 26:13.920 --> 26:16.700 It says in verse 43, David also took a Hinoem of Jezreel 26:17.180 --> 26:19.920 and they were also both of them, his wives. 26:20.540 --> 26:21.900 Notice once you open the door, 26:22.200 --> 26:23.840 it's just like you just keep opening the door. 26:24.740 --> 26:26.580 It's like, well, now that I don't have my cow, 26:26.760 --> 26:27.460 I got an Abigail. 26:27.880 --> 26:30.080 Might as well grab a Hinoem too, you know? 26:31.140 --> 26:33.580 And that's the real reality. 26:34.220 --> 26:37.440 You see these people, they separate from their spouse, 26:37.600 --> 26:38.600 they commit adultery once, 26:39.080 --> 26:40.820 and then a few years later, it's like, 26:40.900 --> 26:42.060 oh, now it's been 10 people. 26:42.920 --> 26:44.160 Now it's been a dozen people. 26:44.300 --> 26:46.520 Now it's just like, now it's just a common pattern. 26:47.080 --> 26:50.860 Now it just explodes into just a crazy number. 26:51.020 --> 26:53.220 Now it's a real country music album, okay? 26:53.800 --> 26:57.040 And I'm telling you, you should just not be separating 26:57.040 --> 26:58.900 from your spouse for long periods of time. 26:59.740 --> 27:01.300 You know, this is just a bad idea. 27:01.660 --> 27:02.880 Whether you're mad at each other 27:02.880 --> 27:04.560 or not mad at each other or whatever, 27:05.100 --> 27:05.460 you know what? 27:05.580 --> 27:06.740 You need to just stay together. 27:07.540 --> 27:09.720 You need to stay in the same area. 27:10.060 --> 27:11.480 And again, we get, there's gonna be, 27:11.640 --> 27:13.020 I'm not saying never take a trip. 27:13.420 --> 27:15.320 I'm not saying don't, you know, 27:15.400 --> 27:17.380 do your work responsibilities or whatever, 27:17.500 --> 27:19.140 but I'm just saying, like living apart 27:19.140 --> 27:20.660 is a dangerous thing. 27:20.960 --> 27:23.780 And in the Bible, every time we see this, 27:24.460 --> 27:25.520 we see adultery ensuing. 27:26.180 --> 27:27.540 Not only that, think about Michael 27:27.540 --> 27:28.460 on the other side of the equation. 27:28.900 --> 27:30.360 But Saul had given Michael's daughter 27:30.360 --> 27:31.340 unto David's wife 27:31.860 --> 27:33.980 to faulty the son of Leish, which was of Galem. 27:33.980 --> 27:36.760 So David instantly with another woman, 27:37.200 --> 27:39.220 Michael instantly with another dude. 27:40.040 --> 27:42.240 It's like, you know, you don't see just people 27:42.240 --> 27:44.500 just staying separate and just doing their own thing. 27:44.640 --> 27:46.260 Just happily serving God or whatever. 27:46.640 --> 27:49.260 And look, David is the man after God's own heart. 27:49.720 --> 27:52.500 If the man after God's own heart 27:53.040 --> 27:55.340 isn't capable of abstaining, 27:55.640 --> 27:57.560 how are you capable of abstaining? 27:58.580 --> 27:59.300 Like are you gonna come in? 27:59.380 --> 28:00.600 I'm better than David. 28:01.080 --> 28:03.400 I love God more than David. 28:03.400 --> 28:05.000 The sweet Psalmist of Israel, 28:05.000 --> 28:07.180 the one that fought Goliath, 28:07.640 --> 28:09.760 the one that's wrestled a lion and a bear 28:09.760 --> 28:10.940 with his bare hands. 28:11.500 --> 28:11.800 You know what? 28:12.020 --> 28:13.460 I love God more than him. 28:13.860 --> 28:15.520 Look, you're only flying to yourself. 28:16.820 --> 28:17.280 You know what? 28:17.720 --> 28:20.640 It doesn't say, in 1 Corinthians chapter number seven, 28:21.080 --> 28:22.700 the way that you escape fornication 28:22.700 --> 28:24.200 is just loving God so much, 28:24.360 --> 28:25.640 it says getting a wife. 28:27.360 --> 28:28.220 That's what it says. 28:29.140 --> 28:32.540 But you know, there's no point in having a wife 28:32.540 --> 28:35.960 that doesn't really exist in your life, right? 28:36.320 --> 28:38.900 There's no point in having the wife that's not with you. 28:39.220 --> 28:40.880 That's not gonna help you escape fornication. 28:40.960 --> 28:43.640 It's having the wife that you can have and hold. 28:44.060 --> 28:45.520 You know, to have and to hold. 28:45.840 --> 28:48.340 That's the whole point of having a spouse 28:48.340 --> 28:49.920 is so you can have and hold. 28:50.680 --> 28:53.220 Now, go to Esther chapter number one. 28:54.280 --> 28:56.400 I'm just trying to prove this over and over 28:56.920 --> 28:58.720 so you don't just take my personal opinion. 28:58.940 --> 29:00.680 Now, is there a clear statement 29:01.040 --> 29:02.800 that says separation causes adultery? 29:03.340 --> 29:03.560 No. 29:04.060 --> 29:05.980 But there is a clear statement that says 29:05.980 --> 29:06.940 divorce causes adultery. 29:07.400 --> 29:10.580 And every example that I can think of 29:10.580 --> 29:11.980 or find in the Bible, it happens. 29:12.880 --> 29:16.220 And every example that I can think of in my personal life 29:16.220 --> 29:18.620 that I know about, it virtually always happens. 29:19.040 --> 29:19.540 So you know what? 29:20.120 --> 29:22.640 I think we should all take notice of these stories, 29:23.060 --> 29:24.560 take warning from these stories, 29:24.900 --> 29:26.520 and say, hey, this is a bad idea. 29:27.180 --> 29:28.820 Bad idea separation. 29:29.360 --> 29:30.740 Bad idea divorce. 29:31.580 --> 29:32.740 In fact, divorce is just sin. 29:33.700 --> 29:38.240 I can't say just definitively that separating is a sin, 29:38.320 --> 29:40.380 per se, but it probably is. 29:40.500 --> 29:42.320 I mean, it's hard for me to imagine a scenario 29:42.320 --> 29:43.920 where you did it and it wasn't a sin. 29:44.300 --> 29:46.340 But you know, at the end of the day, 29:46.720 --> 29:48.620 you know, you're gonna basically open the door 29:48.620 --> 29:52.280 to infidelity, all kinds of just serious issues. 29:52.420 --> 29:53.740 Look at Esther chapter one. 29:55.600 --> 29:56.760 And we have 29:59.200 --> 30:00.760 Let's read a couple of verses here. 30:00.920 --> 30:02.080 We're gonna read verse 15. 30:02.240 --> 30:03.880 What shall we do under the queen Vasude, 30:03.920 --> 30:04.660 according to the law, 30:05.240 --> 30:06.720 which she had not performed the commandment 30:06.720 --> 30:08.900 of the king of Hazures by the chamberlains? 30:09.020 --> 30:10.800 And Mimukin answered before the king and the princes, 30:11.000 --> 30:13.260 Vasude, the queen, had not done wrong to the king only, 30:13.700 --> 30:15.620 but also to all the princes and to all the people 30:15.620 --> 30:17.240 that are in all the provinces of the king of Hazures. 30:17.700 --> 30:19.280 For this deed of the queen shall come abroad 30:19.280 --> 30:21.360 unto all women, so that they shall despise 30:21.360 --> 30:23.060 their husbands and their eyes when it shall be reported. 30:23.560 --> 30:25.280 The king of Hazures commanded Vasude, the queen, 30:25.380 --> 30:27.100 to be brought in before him, but she came not. 30:27.560 --> 30:31.040 Likewise shall the ladies of Persia and media say this day 30:31.040 --> 30:32.340 unto all the king's princes, 30:32.800 --> 30:34.460 which have heard of the deed of the queen, 30:34.620 --> 30:36.680 thus shall there arise too much contempt and wrath. 30:37.220 --> 30:38.060 If it please the king, 30:38.380 --> 30:39.900 let there go a royal commandment from him, 30:40.000 --> 30:41.320 and let it be written among the laws 30:41.320 --> 30:42.880 of the Persians and the Medes, 30:43.160 --> 30:45.620 that it be not altered, that Vasude come no more 30:46.560 --> 30:47.840 before king of Hazures, 30:48.220 --> 30:50.820 and let the king give her royal estate unto another 30:51.280 --> 30:52.760 that is better than she. 30:53.160 --> 30:54.920 And when the king's decree, which he shall make, 30:55.060 --> 30:56.560 shall be published throughout all his empire 30:56.560 --> 30:58.160 for it is great all the wives shall give 30:58.160 --> 31:00.940 to the husband's honor both to great and small. 31:01.440 --> 31:02.920 And the saying, please the king and the princes 31:02.920 --> 31:04.720 and the king did according to the word of Mucan. 31:05.320 --> 31:06.480 So what is it saying? 31:07.320 --> 31:08.900 You know, this is like a public divorce. 31:09.040 --> 31:11.280 This is like the most public divorce of all time, 31:11.580 --> 31:12.480 of all history. 31:12.720 --> 31:15.540 Vasude is put away from king of Hazures 31:15.540 --> 31:17.600 who has 127 provinces, 31:20.380 --> 31:23.160 and it's given unto Esther eventually, right? 31:23.960 --> 31:25.080 But that's the whole point. 31:25.860 --> 31:27.120 It's given to Esther. 31:28.020 --> 31:30.320 And let's just get the facts of the story correct. 31:30.960 --> 31:31.740 That's adultery. 31:33.620 --> 31:34.560 It's adultery. 31:35.380 --> 31:36.200 Now again, was that, 31:36.800 --> 31:39.700 is God have spiritual layers to this book that are good? 31:39.900 --> 31:40.080 Yes. 31:40.320 --> 31:41.800 Is there spiritual lessons we can learn 31:41.800 --> 31:43.060 from this story that are good? 31:43.220 --> 31:43.380 Yes. 31:43.840 --> 31:48.060 Did God in a sense do this to Israel as a group of people 31:48.060 --> 31:50.080 and then embrace the New Testament Christians? 31:50.620 --> 31:51.000 Yes. 31:51.420 --> 31:53.480 But you know what God uses sinful stories 31:53.480 --> 31:56.200 constantly in the Bible to explain spiritual truths. 31:56.480 --> 31:57.960 I mean, think of one of the parables in the Bible 31:57.960 --> 32:00.180 at the unjust steward, okay? 32:00.780 --> 32:04.260 Or think about, he's like commending the unjust steward. 32:04.900 --> 32:05.980 Like he's commending someone 32:05.980 --> 32:07.460 that did something really wicked, okay? 32:08.040 --> 32:09.820 You could think of the unjust judge 32:10.300 --> 32:12.020 who doesn't care about the poor widow. 32:12.520 --> 32:14.060 That person is supposed to represent God, 32:14.160 --> 32:15.880 the father in a sense, in the analogy. 32:16.420 --> 32:18.380 And it says, though he care not about God, 32:18.780 --> 32:21.120 it's like the judge doesn't even care about God. 32:21.240 --> 32:22.500 He's supposed to represent God. 32:22.500 --> 32:24.980 It's like, that's seemingly weird. 32:25.360 --> 32:25.780 But you know what? 32:25.840 --> 32:28.420 God uses sinful stories to illustrate spiritual truths. 32:29.000 --> 32:32.160 Samson commits a horrible sin and is a bad person 32:32.160 --> 32:35.200 and then he pictures Christ in his death, okay? 32:35.520 --> 32:39.240 So it doesn't mean that just because this is a bad story 32:39.240 --> 32:42.240 of bad things that it can't have spiritual truths 32:42.240 --> 32:43.860 and spiritual good information, 32:44.260 --> 32:46.320 but we don't wanna whitewash the story 32:46.760 --> 32:49.820 and deny the fact that King Hazaris separates 32:49.820 --> 32:52.220 from his wife and then immediately commits adultery 32:52.220 --> 32:53.000 by marrying another woman. 32:54.140 --> 32:54.880 That's what the Bible says. 32:55.720 --> 32:59.920 So here's another example, separation, immediate adultery. 33:00.300 --> 33:02.680 Go over to 2 Samuel chapter 15. 33:02.820 --> 33:05.120 Go to 2 Samuel chapter 15. 33:06.120 --> 33:08.280 So I'm just showing you examples after example. 33:08.560 --> 33:11.120 I was trying to think of any example 33:11.120 --> 33:13.200 that would contradict this and I couldn't think of one. 33:14.340 --> 33:16.060 I'm not saying that there couldn't be. 33:16.500 --> 33:18.800 I'm not saying that I did an exhaustive study 33:19.460 --> 33:20.980 because there's a lot in the Bible, 33:21.590 --> 33:24.400 but from my just thinking about it 33:24.400 --> 33:26.760 and trying to meditate on it and doing some research, 33:26.900 --> 33:28.180 I couldn't find an example. 33:28.580 --> 33:30.960 Maybe you can find one, but you know what? 33:31.740 --> 33:33.460 That would be the exception then, not the rule 33:33.460 --> 33:35.320 because I'm showing you and proving to you the rule. 33:35.820 --> 33:38.100 Second Samuel, look at chapter 15 33:38.100 --> 33:39.300 and let's look at verse 16. 33:39.900 --> 33:41.700 Now that we're sitting quickly until David saying, 33:42.120 --> 33:44.000 lodge not this night in the plains of the wilderness 33:44.000 --> 33:45.040 but speedily pass over 33:45.040 --> 33:46.180 lest the king be swallowed up 33:46.180 --> 33:47.380 and all the people that are with him. 33:48.180 --> 33:50.320 So David is running. 33:51.200 --> 33:56.200 He's leaving from his son trying to kill him. 33:56.600 --> 33:58.820 Absalom is gonna kill David 33:58.820 --> 34:00.660 and they're basically on the run 34:01.240 --> 34:05.100 and the Bible says that he leaves 10 of his concubines 34:05.760 --> 34:06.360 with him. 34:07.240 --> 34:08.460 I think, let's look at chapter, 34:09.380 --> 34:10.660 I didn't read the right verse. 34:10.940 --> 34:13.420 That's why you're confused, but chapter 15, 34:13.520 --> 34:14.200 look at verse 16. 34:14.500 --> 34:16.040 It says, and the king at fourth 34:16.040 --> 34:17.180 and all his household after him 34:17.180 --> 34:18.980 and the king left 10 women with your concubines 34:18.980 --> 34:19.560 to keep the house. 34:19.900 --> 34:25.100 So David is on the run from Absalom his son 34:25.100 --> 34:26.480 who's coming to take over the kingdom. 34:26.940 --> 34:29.500 He leaves some of his wives behind. 34:29.760 --> 34:31.360 He leaves 10 of them at the house. 34:31.760 --> 34:32.720 So here's your separation. 34:33.360 --> 34:37.080 Again, not for anything, like they didn't have a fight. 34:37.760 --> 34:39.680 He's not mad at these 10 women. 34:40.260 --> 34:42.720 He's not, like there's no tiff between them. 34:43.020 --> 34:44.840 It's just a separation, okay? 34:44.840 --> 34:45.620 That ensues. 34:45.740 --> 34:47.340 Look at chapter 16 verse 20 now. 34:47.920 --> 34:49.280 I'll read the right verse, okay? 34:49.800 --> 34:50.800 Then said Absalom to the hithilical, 34:51.180 --> 34:53.240 give counsel among you what we shall do. 34:53.460 --> 34:54.420 And hithilical said in the Absalom, 34:54.520 --> 34:55.900 go in under thy father's concubines 34:55.900 --> 34:57.140 which he had left to keep the house. 34:57.560 --> 34:58.360 And all the Israel shall hear 34:58.360 --> 34:59.480 that thou art a court of thy father. 35:00.080 --> 35:01.820 Then shall the hands of all that are with thee 35:01.820 --> 35:03.440 be strong so they spread Absalom and 10 35:03.440 --> 35:04.300 upon the top of the house. 35:04.380 --> 35:06.260 And Absalom went in under his father's concubines 35:06.260 --> 35:07.000 on the side of all Israel. 35:08.000 --> 35:10.180 David immediately leaves his 10 wives 35:10.180 --> 35:14.280 and immediately adultery and public adultery. 35:14.840 --> 35:17.620 In a very shameful, abhorrent way. 35:19.260 --> 35:21.000 I mean, how many examples do you need? 35:21.220 --> 35:24.220 It's just like they leave their wife, adultery. 35:24.760 --> 35:26.920 You mean, think about, here's one, I didn't have my notes. 35:27.040 --> 35:29.140 How about Joseph and Potiphar's wife? 35:30.020 --> 35:33.980 I mean, he's just, the wife's just home alone all the time. 35:34.340 --> 35:35.300 Joseph's always there. 35:35.720 --> 35:36.940 We don't know what Potiphar's doing. 35:37.640 --> 35:40.160 And it's just like she's just constantly trying 35:40.160 --> 35:41.180 to commit adultery. 35:41.640 --> 35:42.320 It's like, you know what? 35:42.340 --> 35:44.240 I'm not gonna leave my wife at home 35:44.240 --> 35:45.680 with some other dude all the time. 35:46.560 --> 35:48.200 Really just 0% of the time. 35:48.340 --> 35:50.940 But I'm just saying like, especially on a regular basis, 35:51.760 --> 35:53.300 you know, that's just, that's a silly idea. 35:53.720 --> 35:56.220 You know, you don't wanna just constantly be separated 35:56.790 --> 35:58.680 and let them be with someone else. 35:59.280 --> 36:00.760 But how about John chapter four? 36:00.840 --> 36:02.060 Let's go to another example here. 36:03.440 --> 36:04.360 John chapter four. 36:04.440 --> 36:06.380 So I hope that I'm proving this pretty sufficiently, 36:06.500 --> 36:09.480 but separation seems to be causing adultery, doesn't it? 36:10.940 --> 36:12.800 Separation from Samuel's situation, 36:12.800 --> 36:15.080 separation from David and Michael's situation, 36:15.500 --> 36:18.240 separation from David and Absalom's situation, 36:18.720 --> 36:20.700 separation of Esther and Vashti. 36:21.080 --> 36:23.340 I mean, it's just a constant theme in the Bible 36:23.340 --> 36:24.980 where people that are separating, 36:25.160 --> 36:26.720 adultery ensues very quickly. 36:27.160 --> 36:29.340 And so, you know, you should be very careful. 36:30.200 --> 36:32.420 And again, most of the time, 36:32.720 --> 36:35.620 I would argue that people are contemplating this 36:35.620 --> 36:37.340 because they are mad at each other 36:37.340 --> 36:39.460 or because they're not happy in their marriage 36:39.460 --> 36:41.280 or because they're having problems 36:41.280 --> 36:42.860 that they think this is gonna fix it. 36:43.060 --> 36:43.760 But let me explain something. 36:44.100 --> 36:45.260 Separation's not gonna fix anything. 36:46.900 --> 36:48.260 It's not gonna help anything. 36:48.640 --> 36:51.300 It's not gonna make you want the relationship more. 36:51.860 --> 36:55.040 You know, just don't ever even allow that to be an option. 36:55.800 --> 36:57.220 Okay, John chapter number four. 36:58.540 --> 37:02.060 We have a woman that's coming to meet Jesus Christ 37:03.400 --> 37:05.960 and it's kind of interesting what he says under her. 37:06.160 --> 37:07.380 Verse 16, Jesus say to her, 37:07.380 --> 37:08.660 go call thy husband and come hither. 37:09.100 --> 37:10.940 And the woman answered and said, I have no husband. 37:11.340 --> 37:14.540 Jesus said to her, thou hast well said, I have no husband. 37:14.900 --> 37:16.460 For thou hast had five husbands 37:17.060 --> 37:20.620 and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband 37:21.280 --> 37:22.660 in that saidest thou truly. 37:23.160 --> 37:26.060 Notice, I mean, when you commit one divorce, 37:26.660 --> 37:29.740 the chances of you committing five, it's really high. 37:30.360 --> 37:31.480 I mean, you would think like, 37:31.640 --> 37:33.720 oh, I made a mistake on this one. 37:33.840 --> 37:35.020 I'll pick better next time. 37:35.500 --> 37:36.320 That's not even true. 37:37.400 --> 37:40.560 Statistically, the chances of getting divorced go up 37:41.080 --> 37:42.320 after you've been divorced. 37:43.020 --> 37:44.780 And it makes sense for a lot of reasons 37:44.780 --> 37:45.740 if you think about it though. 37:46.180 --> 37:47.480 Because if you get divorced, 37:48.180 --> 37:49.420 the person that you're gonna marry 37:49.420 --> 37:52.400 has to be okay with you being divorced, 37:53.100 --> 37:55.300 which typically means they're probably divorced. 37:56.200 --> 37:58.080 And the reason why a lot of people 37:58.080 --> 37:58.900 are getting divorced in America 37:58.900 --> 38:00.560 is a no fault divorce cause. 38:01.220 --> 38:03.740 So that just means that they're not someone 38:03.740 --> 38:05.520 that's really willing to work through hard issues. 38:06.000 --> 38:07.000 They're kinda willing to give up. 38:07.560 --> 38:09.460 When you get two people that are willing to give up 38:09.460 --> 38:10.480 and it only takes one, 38:11.020 --> 38:13.200 well that just makes the math work out even more. 38:14.140 --> 38:15.800 And look, once you've done it twice, 38:16.100 --> 38:18.020 now it's just like, what the heck, you know? 38:18.800 --> 38:19.900 What are they thinking? 38:20.120 --> 38:20.900 Life's too short. 38:21.160 --> 38:22.980 I don't wanna even deal with one argument, 38:23.880 --> 38:25.140 one problem, one issue. 38:25.380 --> 38:26.680 And as soon as they have that, 38:26.860 --> 38:29.360 it's just like out with that, in with the new. 38:29.740 --> 38:31.000 Out with the next, in with the new. 38:31.180 --> 38:32.140 Out with the, it's just like, 38:32.360 --> 38:34.020 it's a vicious, vicious cycle. 38:34.580 --> 38:36.520 And again, the person that's willing to marry you 38:36.520 --> 38:37.820 that's been divorced three times, 38:39.100 --> 38:41.320 like what kind of character is that person? 38:41.640 --> 38:43.240 Like what kind of person is sitting there like, 38:43.660 --> 38:45.920 I know that I'm the one that's the fourth one. 38:47.500 --> 38:48.900 I'm the fifth one. 38:49.640 --> 38:51.820 Like what guy is like, 38:52.000 --> 38:55.280 I know I'm your fifth husband, Elizabeth Taylor, 38:55.580 --> 38:56.620 but it's gonna work out. 38:56.860 --> 38:57.000 Nope. 38:58.180 --> 38:59.200 Like you gotta realize 38:59.200 --> 39:01.500 that this is not gonna be a long life relationship. 39:01.900 --> 39:04.080 This is like Ashlyn Kutcher and Demi Moore or something. 39:04.740 --> 39:06.400 It's like no one thought that was gonna be 39:06.400 --> 39:08.080 a lasting marriage or something. 39:08.400 --> 39:10.920 No one thought that that's gonna really pan out 39:10.920 --> 39:12.460 or work out or something like that. 39:12.800 --> 39:15.700 You know, it's just silly to have this idea. 39:16.240 --> 39:18.320 You know, you're better off sticking with the one you got. 39:20.240 --> 39:21.840 And you're gonna be able to go through 39:21.840 --> 39:23.620 harder issues with the one you got. 39:24.820 --> 39:27.560 Some people just have weird ideas about these issues 39:27.560 --> 39:28.820 and they don't understand them. 39:28.820 --> 39:31.520 You know, in the Bible, if you commit fornication, 39:32.660 --> 39:35.080 you're supposed to actually get married to that person. 39:35.400 --> 39:37.680 If you get caught committing fornication, 39:38.140 --> 39:39.960 the Bible says you're supposed to get married 39:39.960 --> 39:40.540 to that person. 39:40.940 --> 39:42.160 And this is what some people think. 39:42.300 --> 39:43.620 They're like, oh, well I can do better. 39:43.980 --> 39:45.200 But it's like, can you? 39:46.080 --> 39:48.480 Or it's like you get caught committing fornication 39:48.480 --> 39:49.300 and getting pregnant. 39:49.940 --> 39:51.820 It's like what kind of person thinks like, 39:52.160 --> 39:54.240 now that I have a bastard child, 39:55.020 --> 39:57.840 someone of higher quality will want me. 39:58.420 --> 40:01.160 It's like, dude, you probably have the best option 40:01.160 --> 40:02.860 on the table right now, okay? 40:03.300 --> 40:04.460 Plus, biblically speaking, 40:05.100 --> 40:06.660 you're supposed to just pursue marriage anyways. 40:07.120 --> 40:09.440 Unless the father just totally rejects you 40:10.360 --> 40:13.340 or they're just not saved and they hate God or something. 40:13.620 --> 40:15.660 Like there's really no other exception 40:16.100 --> 40:17.140 you should just go through 40:17.140 --> 40:18.740 because that's the person you should be married with. 40:18.940 --> 40:20.900 And look, I know people that have committed 40:20.900 --> 40:22.940 fornication, got married, had great marriage. 40:23.080 --> 40:24.540 I know people that got committed fornication 40:24.540 --> 40:26.920 had a child before they got married, 40:26.920 --> 40:29.340 got married only because they were pregnant 40:29.340 --> 40:30.620 and they have a great marriage. 40:31.060 --> 40:33.720 So it's not like you can't be repaired 40:33.720 --> 40:34.900 from that particular situation, 40:35.340 --> 40:36.760 but you know what, that's the right move. 40:37.360 --> 40:39.560 And this idea of divorcing and whatever, 40:40.100 --> 40:42.300 it doesn't, there's exceptions, 40:42.880 --> 40:45.740 but 99% of the time it's a bad move. 40:46.000 --> 40:46.740 It's not gonna work out. 40:47.180 --> 40:48.920 And no matter even if it was an exception, 40:49.060 --> 40:49.840 it was still a sin. 40:50.760 --> 40:51.720 It was still wrong. 40:52.160 --> 40:53.060 You shouldn't have done it. 40:53.260 --> 40:54.220 It was still adultery. 40:54.880 --> 40:56.240 There's not a good excuse. 40:57.020 --> 40:58.900 You shouldn't be heading towards that direction. 40:59.020 --> 41:00.020 And you know what, you shouldn't be separating. 41:00.760 --> 41:03.040 Now I wanted to focus on that a little bit more 41:03.740 --> 41:06.140 and I have with me, of course, 41:06.300 --> 41:08.740 the Trusted Laws of Connecticut, 1673, okay? 41:09.460 --> 41:13.800 Now, just to illustrate how society has changed. 41:15.000 --> 41:16.440 And people just don't understand this. 41:16.560 --> 41:18.820 They don't understand how society has changed so much. 41:19.140 --> 41:21.460 But on page 30 of this, there's a section 41:21.880 --> 41:22.780 and it's titled. 41:22.780 --> 41:24.400 This is the title of the section. 41:25.040 --> 41:27.500 Husbands and wives not to live separate. 41:29.220 --> 41:31.900 That's the title of this particular section. 41:32.600 --> 41:34.260 And it has, I'm not gonna read the whole thing, 41:34.640 --> 41:39.660 but it has two basic situations that it's outlining. 41:40.100 --> 41:42.120 But if you have a wife, 41:42.760 --> 41:45.820 and it says in a foreign country or foreign area, 41:46.220 --> 41:49.480 and you're living in Connecticut, after two years, 41:49.560 --> 41:51.060 if you do that, if you live more than two years 41:51.060 --> 41:54.640 in the colony and your wife is not with you, 41:54.740 --> 41:59.380 they will penalize you with a 40 shillings a month penalty. 41:59.740 --> 42:02.940 So you will be penalized 40 shillings a month every month 42:02.940 --> 42:05.720 while you live in the colony, not with your spouse. 42:06.820 --> 42:08.600 Or there's another province that if like, 42:08.980 --> 42:10.980 you'd been separated for three years already 42:10.980 --> 42:12.500 prior to living in Connecticut 42:13.060 --> 42:15.260 and you decide to live there for just one year, 42:15.540 --> 42:17.740 then the fine ensues at that point. 42:18.140 --> 42:19.680 So they're gonna literally penalize you 42:19.680 --> 42:20.620 and you pay it fine. 42:21.020 --> 42:22.480 Now this is not a paper tiger. 42:23.220 --> 42:25.300 I looked up and historically speaking, 42:25.670 --> 42:29.080 there was multiple cases where the colony, 42:30.600 --> 42:32.860 Connecticut or Massachusetts specifically 42:32.860 --> 42:35.660 enforced this on people and made them pay penalties 42:35.660 --> 42:37.620 and made them live with their spouse. 42:38.440 --> 42:40.860 On June 17th of 1672, 42:41.300 --> 42:43.500 which is prior to this even coming out, 42:44.120 --> 42:46.220 they made Michael Smith and his wife, 42:46.480 --> 42:48.620 they were ordered to pay for living separate. 42:49.320 --> 42:50.740 Not only that, there was other cases, 42:51.320 --> 42:53.180 I'm not gonna mention all of the cases, 42:53.280 --> 42:54.320 but there was multiple people 42:54.720 --> 42:57.520 where they were either brought to court, penalized, 42:57.640 --> 42:59.820 ordered to live together because, 43:00.340 --> 43:03.300 and again, the general reading and understanding is, 43:03.620 --> 43:07.600 is it penalizes society to allow couples to live apart? 43:08.000 --> 43:10.860 Because it would constantly cause people to become poor 43:11.480 --> 43:14.040 and then as becoming poor, it would cost the city money 43:14.640 --> 43:16.740 because of the fact that they weren't living together. 43:17.540 --> 43:19.840 Now, you know what you call that? 43:20.160 --> 43:22.060 You call that welfare. 43:23.480 --> 43:24.780 Now this is what's crazy. 43:25.580 --> 43:28.220 In America, early in its colonial history, 43:28.820 --> 43:31.780 if you live separate, you get penalized. 43:31.900 --> 43:32.820 You have to pay a fine. 43:33.440 --> 43:37.800 In America today, a woman can leave her husband, 43:38.700 --> 43:40.940 just go to an apartment, live in a separate address 43:40.940 --> 43:45.320 and then she can file for welfare, WIC, 43:46.880 --> 43:49.460 SNAP, there's all these different government programs 43:49.460 --> 43:52.640 and actually get money that she would not get 43:52.640 --> 43:54.040 if she was actually living with her husband 43:54.580 --> 43:56.640 because if you're living in the same household 43:56.640 --> 43:58.960 as your husband, you have to count his income 43:59.460 --> 44:00.660 when you fill out the application 44:00.660 --> 44:01.880 and when you fill out the application 44:01.880 --> 44:03.500 if his income is above a certain threshold 44:03.960 --> 44:06.900 of the level of poverty, you won't qualify for WIC. 44:06.980 --> 44:09.200 WIC is Women, Infant and Children, okay? 44:09.540 --> 44:11.420 You have other programs like ADC, 44:11.500 --> 44:13.740 which is called Aid to Dependent Children, 44:13.740 --> 44:14.860 which is a government program. 44:15.420 --> 44:18.600 You have the Food as Stamp Act, you have SNAP, 44:18.720 --> 44:20.320 there's all these different government programs 44:20.320 --> 44:22.680 and assistant programs, but now in America, 44:23.040 --> 44:26.560 not only can you separate and not get penalized, 44:26.760 --> 44:29.740 now we'll even qualify you for more funding, 44:29.860 --> 44:34.060 more government money, and we're basically funding women 44:34.060 --> 44:35.940 to live apart from their husband in America, 44:37.100 --> 44:39.060 which is WIC, and of course, what does this do? 44:39.260 --> 44:42.580 It increases adultery, it increases bastard children, 44:42.580 --> 44:46.700 it increases STDs, it increases online prostitution, 44:47.040 --> 44:48.480 it's just basically ruining America 44:48.880 --> 44:51.280 by allowing people to separate, and not only that, 44:51.620 --> 44:53.600 I'm having to pay for it with my government money, 44:53.740 --> 44:54.880 with my government tax dollars. 44:55.860 --> 44:57.580 I'm literally have to fund people 44:57.580 --> 45:00.200 to live separate from their spouse, which is WIC, 45:00.300 --> 45:02.700 it's wrong, it's causing adultery, 45:03.480 --> 45:06.360 and again, if someone is on one of these programs, 45:06.540 --> 45:08.380 I'm not mad at you, but you know what? 45:08.720 --> 45:09.800 You shouldn't be on this program 45:09.800 --> 45:11.740 because you're separating from your husband. 45:13.020 --> 45:16.160 Welfare was designed for the truly poor people, 45:16.540 --> 45:17.920 for the truly indigent people, 45:18.040 --> 45:19.940 the people that are down on their luck, 45:21.200 --> 45:24.280 disabled or widowed, and again, 45:24.380 --> 45:25.480 that's how they sell these programs. 45:25.960 --> 45:27.540 They give you a case study, they're like, 45:27.820 --> 45:30.780 look at this person that we would all have empathy for, 45:31.060 --> 45:32.180 we would all have pity for, 45:32.440 --> 45:34.880 we would all say we're not mad about giving them money, 45:35.100 --> 45:37.400 but then what happens is it's a Trojan horse 45:37.400 --> 45:42.300 because then you get all these baby mama drama people 45:42.300 --> 45:43.620 filling out the application, 45:43.860 --> 45:45.660 and that's where the vast majority of the money's going to. 45:46.020 --> 45:48.120 Not the actual widow that we all cared about, 45:48.440 --> 45:49.920 that we felt empathetic towards, 45:50.420 --> 45:51.980 but rather this Trojan horse 45:51.980 --> 45:54.860 of all of these people just leaving their husbands 45:54.860 --> 45:56.340 and separating them from their husbands 45:56.340 --> 45:59.660 and collecting welfare checks and collecting this stuff, 45:59.680 --> 46:01.440 and again, they collect this food, 46:01.800 --> 46:02.720 you go to these grocery stores, 46:02.820 --> 46:04.080 they collect all this food, they don't even eat it. 46:04.620 --> 46:06.080 They're selling it on the black market. 46:07.500 --> 46:09.660 You go with me to some Walmart's, 46:09.720 --> 46:12.180 and there'll be certain parts of the shelf that are bare, 46:12.960 --> 46:14.720 all the formula sections bare, 46:15.420 --> 46:16.780 all these different things, 46:16.840 --> 46:18.280 because you know what, they buy all this formula, 46:18.380 --> 46:19.020 they don't even have a kid, 46:20.000 --> 46:21.320 because they just get it for free, 46:21.620 --> 46:22.440 and you know what they do then, 46:22.480 --> 46:25.520 they sell the formula as a way to just get cash. 46:25.940 --> 46:27.540 So they just always go into Walmart, 46:28.040 --> 46:30.640 and it's just some weird system that they have gaming, 46:31.100 --> 46:33.840 and it's like all the eggs are gone, all the milk's gone, 46:34.340 --> 46:36.300 and look, they're just buying a bunch of junky food, 46:36.480 --> 46:37.520 and again, you know what, 46:38.060 --> 46:39.640 programs are qualified for Wic and whatever? 46:40.320 --> 46:41.940 All the big major corporations. 46:42.620 --> 46:43.840 Isn't that an interesting system? 46:45.180 --> 46:47.420 You know, it's just like all of the Hershey's 46:47.420 --> 46:49.280 and all of the big brands, the Doritos, 46:49.620 --> 46:52.180 it's like you get all the big brands to be the ones 46:52.180 --> 46:53.460 that get all the government assistance, 46:53.480 --> 46:55.260 so they go in and they don't care, 46:55.580 --> 46:56.860 they love it that their products 46:56.860 --> 46:57.920 are flying off the shelf, 46:58.100 --> 46:59.960 because we're all buying them this junky food, 46:59.960 --> 47:03.140 it's a vicious, ugly cycle, and I hate it, okay? 47:03.860 --> 47:06.200 And of course corporate greed and all this stuff 47:06.200 --> 47:09.520 just always comes into play, and just ruining our society. 47:10.660 --> 47:13.960 You know, the Christians of Connecticut had it right. 47:14.520 --> 47:15.960 You wanna live apart from your spouse? 47:16.160 --> 47:17.720 We're gonna penalize you, you're gonna pay a fine. 47:18.620 --> 47:19.880 We're not gonna give you money 47:19.880 --> 47:21.380 to live a separated from your spouse. 47:21.700 --> 47:23.760 That's wrong, and you know what, it hurts society. 47:23.880 --> 47:27.040 Sin hurts society, it doesn't help society. 47:28.420 --> 47:30.280 This aid to dependent children 47:30.280 --> 47:32.760 was kind of the first program, it was in the 1920s, 47:33.060 --> 47:36.940 which is the basic, you know, first wave of feminism. 47:37.300 --> 47:38.940 The first wave of feminism is this timeline, 47:39.400 --> 47:41.740 aid to dependent children, then the second wave, 47:41.920 --> 47:43.880 we know it's basically in the 60s, 47:44.460 --> 47:47.000 so you have in the 1950s, 47:47.020 --> 47:48.780 so the aid is the first program of the government. 47:49.020 --> 47:52.560 By the 1950s, almost everybody on the ADC program 47:52.560 --> 47:55.760 was citing the reason for their need 47:56.110 --> 48:00.420 was an absent father, not widow, not disabled, 48:01.060 --> 48:03.620 not some other issue, it was just an absent father. 48:04.060 --> 48:09.660 And then in the 60s, 1965 Medicaid, 1964 Food Stamp Act, 48:10.000 --> 48:13.040 1969 No Fault Divorce, 1972 WIC. 48:13.900 --> 48:16.180 Oh, that's interesting timeline. 48:16.860 --> 48:19.000 Yeah, basically the baby boomers just allowed 48:19.000 --> 48:21.180 all this nonsense to come into their generation, 48:21.300 --> 48:24.180 and it's ruined our society, the second wave of feminism 48:24.640 --> 48:26.660 that just basically encouraged women 48:26.660 --> 48:27.760 to separate from their spouse, 48:27.940 --> 48:29.820 because there's a lot of people that weren't gonna separate 48:30.380 --> 48:32.700 because financially it's not possible. 48:33.720 --> 48:35.380 Financially they can't afford this stuff. 48:35.860 --> 48:36.880 So what did the government did? 48:37.100 --> 48:38.820 The government said, oh, we'll fund it, 48:39.000 --> 48:42.300 we'll allow you to basically live apart, 48:42.600 --> 48:44.380 and of course with no fault divorce, 48:44.840 --> 48:46.240 now you have to pay alimony, 48:46.580 --> 48:47.680 now you have to pay child support, 48:48.020 --> 48:49.140 then we'll put you on WIC, 48:49.420 --> 48:50.580 then we'll put you on SNAP, 48:50.920 --> 48:52.840 and you know what, you'll be taken care of. 48:53.340 --> 48:55.960 And so all these women are just leaving their husbands 48:56.580 --> 48:59.100 and just mass droves in America, 48:59.220 --> 49:00.800 and it's just destroying our country, 49:00.900 --> 49:03.800 it's destroying marriage, it's destroying families, 49:04.360 --> 49:06.100 it's destroying how many children we're having, 49:06.220 --> 49:08.000 it's destroying the quality of the children we're having, 49:08.200 --> 49:09.580 it's destroying the quality of households, 49:10.160 --> 49:11.940 it's destroying our voter bloc, 49:12.200 --> 49:13.300 it's destroying our politics, 49:13.520 --> 49:14.980 it's destroying everything it touches. 49:16.140 --> 49:17.960 And you know what, I will not be part of the problem 49:17.960 --> 49:19.960 and I will not advocate for separation period. 49:20.960 --> 49:22.300 It's causing adultery, 49:22.800 --> 49:24.460 we shouldn't be aiding it and giving money, 49:24.860 --> 49:27.020 and you know what, single moms coming to me, 49:27.320 --> 49:30.360 begging for money, I'm not gonna do that, 49:30.420 --> 49:31.940 I'm not gonna just take church money 49:32.920 --> 49:34.540 and give that to that program. 49:35.160 --> 49:36.980 If you wanna give money as a personal person, 49:37.260 --> 49:39.880 you do that, but I'm not gonna give the church money 49:39.880 --> 49:44.220 to aid in adultery, to aid in this kind of a separation 49:44.220 --> 49:47.160 or this kind of a program, it's wicked, it's evil, 49:47.300 --> 49:49.100 it's wrong, go to 1 Corinthians 7, 49:49.100 --> 49:50.240 go to 1 Corinthians 7. 49:53.960 --> 49:58.180 Look, marriage is hard, marriage is difficult, okay? 49:59.220 --> 50:02.360 And some people have a more difficult road than others. 50:03.760 --> 50:06.420 It's kind of like in choosing a spouse, 50:06.960 --> 50:08.540 it's kind of like if you go to a hike 50:08.540 --> 50:09.400 and they have like difference, 50:09.620 --> 50:12.700 like here's the double black diamonds or whatever, 50:13.400 --> 50:15.460 here's like the green, here's the red or whatever. 50:15.880 --> 50:17.960 It's like some people are picking a really easy trail. 50:19.100 --> 50:22.040 Okay, some people are picking a really hard trail 50:22.040 --> 50:23.340 that's dangerous, okay? 50:24.200 --> 50:25.920 Pick an easy trail, all right? 50:26.380 --> 50:28.400 And what I mean by that is pick a godly person 50:28.400 --> 50:30.000 that loves you and loves the Lord 50:30.000 --> 50:32.420 and you know, you're gonna have a really easy hike, okay? 50:33.120 --> 50:35.720 Don't pick double black diamond or whatever, okay? 50:36.940 --> 50:39.480 But hey, if you pick double black diamond, 50:40.060 --> 50:42.140 finish the trail, okay? 50:43.080 --> 50:44.820 And hey, we're all gonna be like, you're awesome, 50:44.960 --> 50:46.480 I mean, you finish the double black diamond, 50:46.480 --> 50:47.640 and you know, that's pretty cool. 50:48.300 --> 50:49.720 You know, it's not fair 50:49.720 --> 50:51.760 because there's a lot of pastors in my opinion, 50:52.280 --> 50:55.140 they picked the basic, you know, like five year old trail, 50:55.280 --> 50:57.440 the toddler trail or whatever, route, 50:57.720 --> 50:59.260 and then they're criticizing people 50:59.260 --> 51:00.340 that are on a double black diamond. 51:00.560 --> 51:02.740 And it's just like, well, bro, you're not on that road. 51:02.860 --> 51:05.220 So like it's not fair for you to sit here 51:05.720 --> 51:07.340 and act like, well, just pick the right trail. 51:07.500 --> 51:08.620 They're just not on the right trail. 51:09.000 --> 51:10.320 So we gotta give people advice 51:10.320 --> 51:11.360 that are on the wrong trail. 51:11.960 --> 51:13.460 They're still on it, okay? 51:13.460 --> 51:17.280 They gotta get, you gotta figure out what to do, okay? 51:17.820 --> 51:19.560 And again, you know, so a lot of times 51:19.560 --> 51:21.920 we have to not only preach what you should do 51:22.340 --> 51:23.760 or what's ideal in marriage, 51:24.160 --> 51:26.240 but sometimes we have to preach about ugly situations. 51:26.840 --> 51:28.160 Sometimes we have to preach about reality. 51:28.460 --> 51:30.060 Sometimes we have to preach about sinners, you know? 51:30.400 --> 51:32.520 Some of us are sinners here, and some of us screw up, 51:32.560 --> 51:34.580 and some of us have past, and some of us have futures, 51:34.780 --> 51:35.780 and some of us have issues. 51:36.160 --> 51:36.660 And you know what? 51:37.180 --> 51:40.280 Marriage is, in many cases, an uphill battle anyways, 51:40.500 --> 51:41.000 no matter what. 51:41.000 --> 51:41.940 It's difficult. 51:42.260 --> 51:42.780 There's problems. 51:43.400 --> 51:47.720 But you know, this is a foundational thing. 51:48.160 --> 51:50.960 You cannot succeed without this area, okay? 51:51.520 --> 51:53.940 1 Corinthians 7, look what it says in verse number two. 51:54.520 --> 51:55.720 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, 51:55.840 --> 51:57.240 let every man have his own wife, 51:57.960 --> 51:59.720 and let every woman have her own husband. 52:00.480 --> 52:02.740 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, 52:02.900 --> 52:04.420 and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 52:04.920 --> 52:07.040 The wife hath not power of her own body, 52:07.400 --> 52:08.780 but the husband, and likewise also the husband 52:08.780 --> 52:10.280 hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 52:10.900 --> 52:12.500 Defraud ye not one the other, 52:13.080 --> 52:15.620 except it be with consent for a time. 52:16.020 --> 52:17.460 They may give yourselves a fasting and prayer, 52:17.560 --> 52:18.260 and come together again, 52:18.380 --> 52:19.760 that Satan tempts you not for your incontinency. 52:20.200 --> 52:22.380 So again, notice in this passage, 52:22.860 --> 52:25.040 by being separate, you're defrauding each other. 52:26.100 --> 52:28.400 And it says you could only do this by consent 52:28.400 --> 52:29.420 if you both agreed, 52:29.740 --> 52:32.220 and it's kind of indicating like a short period of time, 52:32.580 --> 52:34.640 and then immediately come back together 52:34.640 --> 52:37.560 so that Satan doesn't tempt you for incontinency, okay? 52:37.560 --> 52:40.300 So one aspect of marriage that's so important 52:40.300 --> 52:42.080 is that you're not separating physically, 52:42.500 --> 52:44.560 and that you're showing due benevolence. 52:44.620 --> 52:46.140 If you don't show due benevolence, 52:46.280 --> 52:48.260 you're just asking for problems in marriage. 52:48.640 --> 52:50.040 This is an absolute necessity. 52:50.900 --> 52:55.420 And again, this is something that every couple, 52:55.680 --> 52:56.500 if you're having problems, 52:56.680 --> 52:58.440 you need to just start here. 52:58.960 --> 53:01.160 This has to be something that's addressed. 53:01.820 --> 53:03.960 Now I'll say this, this doesn't fix every problem though. 53:04.560 --> 53:06.120 This is not the cure to every problem. 53:06.600 --> 53:08.360 But you know what, you're not gonna fix problems 53:08.360 --> 53:09.180 if you don't fix this area. 53:09.440 --> 53:11.780 This area has to be met, 53:12.080 --> 53:15.900 both parties need to be willing to show due benevolence, okay? 53:16.520 --> 53:18.460 And separation is just gonna cause major, 53:18.580 --> 53:19.640 major issues if you don't. 53:20.260 --> 53:24.080 But the reality is that marriage is more 53:24.080 --> 53:26.240 than just a physical relationship, okay? 53:26.260 --> 53:27.080 That's a basic level. 53:27.800 --> 53:30.280 You can desire a physical relationship with someone 53:30.280 --> 53:32.560 that you don't even like, okay? 53:33.140 --> 53:35.280 But see, that's not gonna create a good marriage. 53:35.760 --> 53:38.960 You need to have another thing called a friendship, okay? 53:39.460 --> 53:42.080 And really, you can love people in different layers. 53:42.320 --> 53:43.400 Someone else explained this to me, 53:43.420 --> 53:44.260 I'm stealing the idea of it. 53:44.940 --> 53:48.820 It's like you can love someone because you're just family, right? 53:49.000 --> 53:50.160 You just love someone because you're family. 53:50.700 --> 53:51.840 That's a certain level of love. 53:52.240 --> 53:53.100 And you know, when you get married, 53:53.240 --> 53:54.240 you kind of just love your spouses 53:54.240 --> 53:56.420 because you're married because you're now family in a sense. 53:56.960 --> 53:58.740 Then there's a second layer of love 53:58.740 --> 54:00.660 that's like romantic love, okay? 54:00.800 --> 54:02.620 And you have that and that's good 54:02.620 --> 54:04.260 and that's a different kind of love. 54:04.260 --> 54:06.020 But it's not really ultimate love. 54:06.120 --> 54:08.540 The ultimate love is a friend love, okay? 54:09.220 --> 54:10.600 And being friends with each other 54:11.160 --> 54:13.300 is gonna be what actually keeps you together. 54:14.000 --> 54:16.260 It's not just, you're not gonna stay together 54:16.260 --> 54:17.120 just because you're family. 54:17.340 --> 54:18.480 You're not gonna necessarily just stay together 54:18.480 --> 54:20.500 just because you find them attractive. 54:20.880 --> 54:22.620 You're gonna stay together and have a good marriage 54:22.620 --> 54:24.780 because you're actually friends, okay? 54:24.920 --> 54:27.080 And being friends has nothing to do really 54:27.080 --> 54:27.600 with the others. 54:28.340 --> 54:29.500 You have to, there's a different thing. 54:30.180 --> 54:31.240 It's a different equation. 54:31.700 --> 54:33.000 Go over to Proverbs chapter 18, 54:33.120 --> 54:33.980 go to Proverbs chapter 18. 54:37.580 --> 54:39.920 And I'm just trying to give you the solution here, okay? 54:40.360 --> 54:41.440 When you're tempted to separate, 54:41.620 --> 54:42.460 when you're tempted to divorce, 54:43.320 --> 54:45.040 you need to address these issues, okay? 54:45.620 --> 54:46.560 Number one, you need to make sure 54:46.560 --> 54:47.840 you're showing dube and evalence. 54:47.980 --> 54:49.380 If you don't, then whatever. 54:50.020 --> 54:52.840 And you know, it's just the reality 54:52.840 --> 54:55.840 that you need to just have a constant relationship 54:56.460 --> 54:59.860 and if you separate, you're just never gonna fix it, okay? 55:00.240 --> 55:01.900 But number two, you need to work on your friendship 55:01.900 --> 55:03.660 and the thing is about friends, 55:04.040 --> 55:05.920 that's an important concept in the Bible, 55:06.100 --> 55:07.660 is friendship is based on work. 55:09.220 --> 55:11.540 Friendship is based on work, okay? 55:12.460 --> 55:14.660 That's why marriage is a hard, because it's work. 55:15.260 --> 55:16.860 It's not automatic, okay? 55:17.000 --> 55:19.820 Attraction is easy, friendship is difficult, okay? 55:20.220 --> 55:22.840 Attraction, there's no cost barrier. 55:23.340 --> 55:26.040 It's automatic and you can think that it's nice, 55:26.200 --> 55:28.100 but you know, sometimes you've met somebody 55:28.100 --> 55:29.580 that you were attracted to, maybe when you're dating, 55:30.000 --> 55:31.120 but then when you start to get to know them, 55:31.140 --> 55:32.640 you're not attracted to them anymore or whatever, 55:32.840 --> 55:35.320 because it's like, there's more to love 55:35.320 --> 55:38.460 and attraction than just looks, okay? 55:39.280 --> 55:40.620 And that's being a friend. 55:41.220 --> 55:43.500 That's why, you know, people when they are dating 55:43.500 --> 55:46.120 or whatever and the person has the same interests as them. 55:46.360 --> 55:47.920 You know, they like the same things. 55:48.160 --> 55:49.460 It's like, hey, what do you think about the Jews? 55:50.100 --> 55:52.460 It's like, that's gonna determine if you're friends, okay? 55:53.440 --> 55:54.760 For some people, that's where they start. 55:55.040 --> 55:57.180 You know, that's their first criterion or whatever. 55:57.660 --> 55:59.120 But it's just like, hey, 55:59.680 --> 56:01.120 that's gonna make a lasting relationship. 56:01.520 --> 56:02.860 You agree on those issues? 56:03.040 --> 56:04.340 I mean, man, you gotta match, you know, 56:04.440 --> 56:05.760 you need to go all in on that, okay? 56:06.300 --> 56:07.140 Give her the ring already. 56:08.100 --> 56:10.000 Proverbs 18, look at verse 24 though. 56:10.900 --> 56:12.380 What does the Bible teach about friendship? 56:12.520 --> 56:14.520 It says a man that has friends must show himself friendly. 56:15.820 --> 56:16.920 Notice this though, and there's a friend 56:16.920 --> 56:17.960 that's taking it closer than the brother. 56:18.080 --> 56:22.000 So notice, friendship is more intimate 56:22.000 --> 56:25.840 or has more love than just a brother love. 56:26.330 --> 56:27.420 Like you love your brother, 56:28.000 --> 56:30.800 but you can have a closer relationship with a friend 56:30.800 --> 56:31.820 than even a brother. 56:32.360 --> 56:34.380 And again, in a relationship, in a marriage, 56:34.920 --> 56:38.740 you should, in theory, be closer with that person 56:38.740 --> 56:39.440 than any other person. 56:39.920 --> 56:43.240 But the only way to do that is by friendship, okay? 56:43.600 --> 56:45.520 You need to develop a friendship with your spouse. 56:45.700 --> 56:48.420 But look, a man that has friends must what? 56:49.080 --> 56:50.600 Show himself friendly. 56:51.200 --> 56:53.580 If you put no effort into your relationship, 56:53.940 --> 56:56.260 if you put no energy into your relationship, 56:56.540 --> 56:57.700 you're not gonna be friends. 56:58.660 --> 57:00.760 And then it's like, why are you guys not getting along? 57:01.280 --> 57:02.260 Because you're not friends. 57:02.960 --> 57:03.820 Why are you not friends? 57:04.120 --> 57:05.960 Because you're not being friendly, okay? 57:06.320 --> 57:08.240 Again, we have to start with the first level. 57:08.700 --> 57:10.280 If you're not showing due benevolence, 57:10.480 --> 57:12.020 the friendship doesn't even matter, okay? 57:12.420 --> 57:13.160 We gotta start there. 57:13.240 --> 57:14.500 That's the whole reason you're there. 57:14.580 --> 57:15.520 So you gotta fix that issue. 57:15.620 --> 57:16.520 But then second layer, 57:16.980 --> 57:19.180 you gotta work on being friends here, okay? 57:19.680 --> 57:23.200 And you know, as a man, I'll just be honest, 57:23.780 --> 57:25.700 men are a lot more shallow 57:26.220 --> 57:27.980 and friendships a little bit easier for them. 57:28.540 --> 57:29.340 But you know what? 57:29.480 --> 57:30.980 It's really important for your wife 57:30.980 --> 57:32.400 for you to be friendly with her 57:32.400 --> 57:34.260 and show her a lot of love 57:34.920 --> 57:37.000 and invest in that relationship. 57:37.400 --> 57:38.140 And you know what? 57:38.340 --> 57:40.520 That's what's gonna make it really last, okay? 57:40.860 --> 57:43.240 For men, they really need step one, all right? 57:44.040 --> 57:45.920 But go to Song of Solomon chapter five. 57:46.040 --> 57:47.420 Go to Song of Solomon chapter number five. 57:48.680 --> 57:50.200 Hey, we're thinking about separating. 57:50.420 --> 57:51.880 No, don't separate, become friends. 57:52.620 --> 57:52.880 Yes. 57:53.280 --> 57:54.400 Work on becoming friends. 57:55.120 --> 57:57.240 Find things that you like to do together. 57:57.620 --> 58:00.240 Find conversations that you like to have together. 58:00.960 --> 58:03.120 You know, and dating, this is important. 58:03.300 --> 58:06.960 If you're dating someone, enjoy the conversations 58:06.960 --> 58:08.640 and enjoy doing stuff with that person. 58:08.940 --> 58:09.860 That's a good indication 58:09.860 --> 58:11.300 that you're gonna have a good relationship. 58:11.860 --> 58:13.940 If you only are attracted to them, that's not enough. 58:14.580 --> 58:16.580 You need to also be a friend with this person. 58:17.100 --> 58:20.120 And you know, he and my wife, we dated way too long, 58:20.240 --> 58:22.240 but at least we knew that we liked each other 58:22.240 --> 58:23.440 and at least we knew that we were friends. 58:23.940 --> 58:24.440 And you know what? 58:24.540 --> 58:26.100 We have a great relationship because we're friends. 58:26.200 --> 58:27.660 Now, sometimes we get, you know, we fight. 58:27.960 --> 58:30.100 We get argued and you mad at each other and that's fine. 58:30.500 --> 58:31.200 But you know what? 58:31.780 --> 58:35.160 We keep making it because we just really like each other. 58:35.720 --> 58:36.940 And you know why we keep liking each other? 58:37.140 --> 58:38.280 Because we do stuff for each other. 58:38.860 --> 58:40.180 But the moment that that stops, 58:40.280 --> 58:41.520 the relationship starts to die. 58:42.320 --> 58:44.060 If you're not being nice to them, 58:44.180 --> 58:45.200 you're not being kind to them. 58:45.200 --> 58:46.680 Look, what do men hate? 58:47.020 --> 58:50.760 Being nagged and being complained to and being criticized. 58:51.340 --> 58:51.720 But you know what? 58:51.780 --> 58:54.340 That's not really having someone being friendly to you. 58:54.980 --> 58:56.740 If everything's met with just contempt, 58:58.140 --> 59:01.400 disdain, disrespect, it's gonna be hard for them 59:01.400 --> 59:03.480 to feel close to you. 59:03.840 --> 59:05.760 They wanna be close to someone that's gonna encourage them, 59:05.880 --> 59:07.360 lift them up, show them respect, 59:07.920 --> 59:09.160 speak kindly to them. 59:09.880 --> 59:11.340 Of course, doing stuff for them. 59:11.520 --> 59:13.560 You know, being a wife does stuff. 59:13.560 --> 59:14.900 She's gonna do him good. 59:15.360 --> 59:17.680 You know, she's making him meals and cooking and cleaning 59:17.680 --> 59:20.040 and doing his laundry and beyond that. 59:20.140 --> 59:22.400 Just wanting to do stuff with him. 59:22.540 --> 59:23.500 Stuff that he likes. 59:23.980 --> 59:25.540 Taking interest in his interests. 59:26.040 --> 59:28.340 This is gonna make a huge impact in your relationship. 59:29.540 --> 59:31.960 Solomon chapter five, verse 16. 59:33.080 --> 59:34.020 His mouth is most sweet. 59:34.180 --> 59:35.060 Yeah, he is all together lovely. 59:35.540 --> 59:37.020 This is my beloved and notice this. 59:37.740 --> 59:38.800 And this is my friend. 59:39.540 --> 59:40.360 Oh, daughter's a Jerusalem. 59:40.920 --> 59:41.340 You know what? 59:41.400 --> 59:42.700 If you wanna have a good relationship, 59:42.700 --> 59:44.060 you have to become friends. 59:44.660 --> 59:47.840 And if you're kind of not there, work on it. 59:48.360 --> 59:49.320 And a friendship, you know, 59:49.420 --> 59:51.800 sometimes you have to be the friend first, okay? 59:52.160 --> 59:54.600 As a wife, you need to be friendly to your husband, 59:54.760 --> 59:55.680 respect him as a husband. 59:56.160 --> 59:57.660 You need to talk kindly to your wife, 59:58.080 --> 59:59.980 show your wife affection, be nicer. 01:00:00.400 --> 01:00:01.580 But when you read the song of Solomon, 01:00:01.840 --> 01:00:03.560 they can't stop complimenting each other. 01:00:04.180 --> 01:00:05.580 Constantly praising each other, 01:00:05.980 --> 01:00:07.520 constantly complimenting each other. 01:00:07.960 --> 01:00:09.400 They're not overly critical. 01:00:10.020 --> 01:00:13.080 They're not pestering each other, you know? 01:00:13.220 --> 01:00:15.760 And again, you're gonna wanna hang out with this person. 01:00:15.880 --> 01:00:16.980 You know, you read Proverbs 31, 01:00:17.780 --> 01:00:19.340 men are gonna wanna hang out with their wife 01:00:19.340 --> 01:00:20.480 and she's Proverbs 31. 01:00:20.640 --> 01:00:22.700 I mean, she's making you meals, she's cooking for you 01:00:22.700 --> 01:00:24.160 and she always talks nicely to you. 01:00:24.700 --> 01:00:27.420 Look, if a woman's just working really hard for you 01:00:27.420 --> 01:00:29.960 and serving you and caulking nicely to you, 01:00:30.240 --> 01:00:31.040 you're gonna wanna hang out. 01:00:31.460 --> 01:00:34.160 You come home and no work's being done 01:00:34.160 --> 01:00:36.600 and you're being criticized and nagged and complained at, 01:00:37.120 --> 01:00:38.280 you're gonna wanna run to the willingness. 01:00:38.800 --> 01:00:40.040 And that's just what the Bible says. 01:00:41.380 --> 01:00:45.680 Okay, as a wife, if your husband's not working super hard 01:00:45.680 --> 01:00:48.940 and he's not providing and he's not paying the bills 01:00:48.940 --> 01:00:50.920 and he's not giving you attention 01:00:50.920 --> 01:00:52.920 and he's not making you a priority, 01:00:53.140 --> 01:00:54.200 you're not gonna feel loved, 01:00:54.320 --> 01:00:55.240 you're not gonna feel appreciated. 01:00:55.780 --> 01:00:56.940 So you know what, as a man, 01:00:57.280 --> 01:00:59.600 you need to go out there and work really hard for her. 01:01:00.760 --> 01:01:02.600 You may could live in a tent 01:01:02.600 --> 01:01:04.840 down by the river on government cheese, okay? 01:01:05.260 --> 01:01:05.820 But you know what? 01:01:06.120 --> 01:01:07.480 She doesn't wanna live in a tent. 01:01:08.000 --> 01:01:10.560 She doesn't wanna live in a van down by the river 01:01:10.560 --> 01:01:12.060 eating government cheese, okay? 01:01:12.320 --> 01:01:14.140 She doesn't wanna have to fill out an application 01:01:14.140 --> 01:01:15.540 for women, infant and children 01:01:15.540 --> 01:01:16.720 because you can't pay the bills 01:01:16.720 --> 01:01:19.660 and she needs some Jew to pay her bills for her, okay? 01:01:20.160 --> 01:01:21.800 She doesn't want that kind of stuff. 01:01:22.220 --> 01:01:24.380 She feels nice when it's like, 01:01:24.540 --> 01:01:25.860 hey, I wanna take you out to dinner 01:01:25.860 --> 01:01:27.200 and I wanna pay your bills 01:01:27.200 --> 01:01:29.420 and I wanna be there to hang out with you 01:01:29.420 --> 01:01:31.680 and I set aside time for us to hang out 01:01:31.680 --> 01:01:33.260 and I'm making you a priority. 01:01:33.580 --> 01:01:33.940 You know what? 01:01:34.340 --> 01:01:35.320 That seems like a friend. 01:01:36.480 --> 01:01:38.040 Oh, I'm best friends with this person. 01:01:38.460 --> 01:01:39.140 Oh really? 01:01:39.960 --> 01:01:41.480 When you'll hang out, we never hang out. 01:01:43.320 --> 01:01:44.100 What do y'all do? 01:01:44.380 --> 01:01:46.220 I mean, do you like buy them meals? 01:01:46.420 --> 01:01:47.540 No, we've never eat together. 01:01:47.840 --> 01:01:48.640 We never hang out. 01:01:48.780 --> 01:01:49.660 I never buy them anything. 01:01:50.720 --> 01:01:52.120 Sometimes I complain to them. 01:01:52.540 --> 01:01:53.800 Sometimes I ask them for money. 01:01:55.260 --> 01:01:56.100 It's my friend. 01:01:56.400 --> 01:01:57.280 Is that really a friend? 01:01:58.620 --> 01:02:01.240 You know, it's just like friendships are based on work. 01:02:01.660 --> 01:02:03.420 You know, why has Abraham justified 01:02:03.420 --> 01:02:04.780 in being called the friend of God? 01:02:05.780 --> 01:02:07.480 Because of his works, okay? 01:02:08.260 --> 01:02:10.540 And you say, some people just want friends in general. 01:02:10.660 --> 01:02:11.800 They're like, I just don't even care. 01:02:11.920 --> 01:02:12.400 I have a great marriage. 01:02:12.480 --> 01:02:12.840 I want a friend. 01:02:13.380 --> 01:02:13.940 It's called work. 01:02:14.900 --> 01:02:17.920 You can't have friendship without work, okay? 01:02:18.000 --> 01:02:20.240 You get what you put into a relationship. 01:02:21.120 --> 01:02:23.240 And so at the end of the day, I have no friends. 01:02:23.380 --> 01:02:24.520 Well, it's obvious because you're putting in 01:02:24.520 --> 01:02:26.120 no effort or work for it, okay? 01:02:27.040 --> 01:02:28.840 Now again, if you wanna have a great relationship, 01:02:29.000 --> 01:02:31.700 you wanna improve your relationship, put in some work. 01:02:32.160 --> 01:02:33.880 But it's never gonna happen automatic. 01:02:34.360 --> 01:02:35.800 That's called infatuation. 01:02:36.080 --> 01:02:36.800 That's called attraction. 01:02:37.380 --> 01:02:38.200 That was easy. 01:02:38.260 --> 01:02:38.860 You didn't do anything. 01:02:39.600 --> 01:02:39.940 But you know what? 01:02:39.980 --> 01:02:41.480 That's not gonna create a lasting relationship. 01:02:41.600 --> 01:02:43.580 Otherwise, Hollywood celebrities would stay married forever. 01:02:45.060 --> 01:02:46.980 I mean, who's more attractive than Hollywood celebrities? 01:02:47.940 --> 01:02:49.400 Aren't they the most attractive people? 01:02:50.660 --> 01:02:54.500 I mean, by and large, pro athletes, these singers, 01:02:54.780 --> 01:02:56.560 these actors, these actresses or whatever, 01:02:57.000 --> 01:02:58.620 they're the best looking of society. 01:02:58.960 --> 01:02:59.880 They're always fit. 01:03:00.060 --> 01:03:00.900 They're in good shape. 01:03:01.420 --> 01:03:03.080 They're taking care of themselves physically. 01:03:03.220 --> 01:03:04.200 They have physical trainers. 01:03:04.320 --> 01:03:04.760 They have whatever. 01:03:05.000 --> 01:03:07.380 If just attraction is what keeps people together, 01:03:07.840 --> 01:03:09.600 Hollywood celebrities would stay together forever. 01:03:10.000 --> 01:03:11.880 But you know why they're not staying together forever? 01:03:12.200 --> 01:03:15.700 Well, number one, because they're separating all the time. 01:03:16.140 --> 01:03:19.040 They're constantly, I mean, it's like, oh, you know, 01:03:19.280 --> 01:03:20.660 Ben, what I'm sorry, Ben. 01:03:20.800 --> 01:03:22.980 Brad Pitt is married to Jennifer Aniston, 01:03:23.440 --> 01:03:25.660 but then he's not living with her. 01:03:25.780 --> 01:03:28.040 He's on set with Angelina Jolie 01:03:28.480 --> 01:03:29.880 for months and months and years. 01:03:29.880 --> 01:03:32.740 And then, oh, he commits adultery and then divorces her 01:03:32.740 --> 01:03:34.120 or whatever, breaks up with her. 01:03:34.260 --> 01:03:35.740 Now he's with Angelina Jolie or whatever. 01:03:36.380 --> 01:03:38.500 It's just like, oh, I wonder how that works. 01:03:38.680 --> 01:03:39.460 I wonder how that happens. 01:03:40.020 --> 01:03:40.860 It's like, don't separate. 01:03:41.520 --> 01:03:42.780 Don't get away from your spouse. 01:03:43.260 --> 01:03:45.220 Don't form relationships with other people. 01:03:45.500 --> 01:03:46.300 You know, stay together. 01:03:47.100 --> 01:03:48.400 But only that, also that, it's like, 01:03:48.460 --> 01:03:49.660 they're not forming good friendships. 01:03:49.880 --> 01:03:51.660 They're not actually forming a real relationship 01:03:51.660 --> 01:03:53.020 and attraction only goes so far. 01:03:53.720 --> 01:03:55.940 You need to actually form a friendship with your spouse. 01:03:56.060 --> 01:03:57.100 And you know what, if you do that, 01:03:57.420 --> 01:03:58.500 you can have a lasting marriage. 01:03:59.300 --> 01:04:01.020 You want to make it to the end of marriage? 01:04:01.560 --> 01:04:02.800 Become friends with your spouse. 01:04:04.060 --> 01:04:04.600 But you know what? 01:04:04.880 --> 01:04:06.620 You want to crash and burn, separate, 01:04:07.380 --> 01:04:09.600 stop showing dube and evalence and not being friendly? 01:04:10.460 --> 01:04:12.120 Boy, you're in a world of hurt fast. 01:04:13.300 --> 01:04:14.520 And you know, people that do commit adultery, 01:04:14.580 --> 01:04:16.480 I guarantee they were doing what I'm saying. 01:04:16.560 --> 01:04:17.700 They're separating from their spouse. 01:04:18.380 --> 01:04:19.760 They're not showing dube and evalence. 01:04:20.280 --> 01:04:22.060 They're not being friendly with one another. 01:04:22.780 --> 01:04:24.380 That just spells a disaster. 01:04:25.180 --> 01:04:26.600 You know, and we're all in different stages. 01:04:26.600 --> 01:04:27.780 We're all in different areas. 01:04:27.780 --> 01:04:29.600 We all have different relationships. 01:04:29.940 --> 01:04:30.360 But you know what? 01:04:30.420 --> 01:04:31.720 These principles apply to all of us. 01:04:32.360 --> 01:04:34.400 And you know, if someone is contemplating, 01:04:34.560 --> 01:04:36.680 separating or divorce, you know what? 01:04:36.800 --> 01:04:38.060 I'm never gonna support that. 01:04:38.180 --> 01:04:40.060 I'm never gonna, I'm never gonna be like, 01:04:40.140 --> 01:04:41.320 that seems like a reasonable idea. 01:04:41.900 --> 01:04:42.340 You know what? 01:04:42.400 --> 01:04:43.480 Hey, you need to stay together. 01:04:44.560 --> 01:04:46.000 The Bible says to come together again. 01:04:47.240 --> 01:04:48.720 And you know, show dube and evalence, 01:04:48.860 --> 01:04:49.920 work on being a friend. 01:04:50.600 --> 01:04:52.320 And you know, it's never too late 01:04:52.320 --> 01:04:53.560 to become a friends again. 01:04:54.000 --> 01:04:55.420 It's never too late to work on your marriage. 01:04:56.060 --> 01:04:58.580 I've seen people restored that were at odds. 01:04:59.320 --> 01:05:01.220 I've seen people that say they hate each other, 01:05:02.540 --> 01:05:03.840 completely fix their relationship. 01:05:04.600 --> 01:05:05.180 But you know what? 01:05:05.300 --> 01:05:05.960 It's gonna take work. 01:05:06.900 --> 01:05:09.320 You're never gonna fix it if you don't put in the work. 01:05:09.980 --> 01:05:11.700 And so I hope that, and I pray that, 01:05:12.080 --> 01:05:13.260 you know, if you have these issues 01:05:13.260 --> 01:05:14.900 or you have problems or you wanna improve, 01:05:15.280 --> 01:05:17.100 they employ these steps, but please don't separate. 01:05:17.900 --> 01:05:18.840 Please don't listen to people 01:05:18.840 --> 01:05:19.740 that are saying this kind of stuff. 01:05:19.820 --> 01:05:20.540 Please don't divorce. 01:05:20.800 --> 01:05:22.180 Please don't go down these paths. 01:05:22.820 --> 01:05:24.220 And please just love your spouse. 01:05:24.220 --> 01:05:27.200 You know, if it's for better or for worse, 01:05:28.300 --> 01:05:29.000 you know, it's frustrating, 01:05:29.140 --> 01:05:31.460 these divorce-like counselors out there, 01:05:31.720 --> 01:05:32.680 they're always coming with all the reasons 01:05:32.680 --> 01:05:33.340 why you should divorce. 01:05:34.480 --> 01:05:35.260 You know, I had an article, 01:05:35.300 --> 01:05:36.220 I didn't read it for a sake of time, 01:05:36.300 --> 01:05:37.500 but this article by Wayne Grudem, 01:05:38.020 --> 01:05:39.880 he gives all the reasons why you can separate 01:05:39.880 --> 01:05:40.800 and divorce from your spouse. 01:05:42.200 --> 01:05:43.520 He says, arguments. 01:05:44.140 --> 01:05:46.980 Well, screwed, you know, that's the category. 01:05:48.380 --> 01:05:51.240 Okay, mental or emotional abuse. 01:05:52.540 --> 01:05:53.680 I don't even know what that is, 01:05:53.680 --> 01:05:55.460 but it sounds scary, okay? 01:05:56.040 --> 01:05:59.060 He says, drug or alcohol, or gambling, 01:05:59.700 --> 01:06:03.360 or adult content, or emotional instability. 01:06:04.720 --> 01:06:08.420 I'm just like, when we said for better or for worse, 01:06:09.180 --> 01:06:10.180 what was the worst? 01:06:11.320 --> 01:06:12.340 What's acceptable now? 01:06:12.560 --> 01:06:15.940 What's bad, but not, you know, divorce-worthy? 01:06:16.880 --> 01:06:18.000 You know, and it's like they just, 01:06:18.120 --> 01:06:20.800 they basically create any bad is now divorce-worthy. 01:06:21.480 --> 01:06:23.100 And of course, people get mad at me 01:06:23.740 --> 01:06:26.380 because then they'll dream up like a Ted Bundy scenario 01:06:26.860 --> 01:06:29.180 and like, oh, you're saying she should stay with him? 01:06:29.520 --> 01:06:33.480 And I'm like, well, yeah, but you're not Ted Bundy, 01:06:33.640 --> 01:06:35.840 so it's okay, all right? 01:06:36.120 --> 01:06:37.580 I'm not really thinking like our church 01:06:37.580 --> 01:06:39.380 is filled with Ted Bundy's 01:06:39.380 --> 01:06:42.480 that I'm begging wives to stay with, okay? 01:06:43.080 --> 01:06:45.840 The wives aren't coming in with two black eyes 01:06:45.840 --> 01:06:48.140 and a bloody nose, and I'm just like, 01:06:48.140 --> 01:06:50.080 please stay with him, okay? 01:06:50.680 --> 01:06:52.180 But of course, that's what they wanna paint. 01:06:52.300 --> 01:06:53.360 They wanna paint this picture 01:06:53.760 --> 01:06:56.580 of some psycho situation or whatever. 01:06:57.420 --> 01:06:58.520 And it's just like, look, 01:06:58.720 --> 01:07:00.120 I'm not really even addressing that 01:07:00.120 --> 01:07:01.860 because we don't need to talk about that. 01:07:02.240 --> 01:07:02.860 That's not even interesting. 01:07:03.080 --> 01:07:03.820 It's like, is that you? 01:07:04.320 --> 01:07:05.400 It's like when you go to the door, 01:07:05.480 --> 01:07:06.280 you knock on someone's door, 01:07:06.660 --> 01:07:08.720 and you're like, hey, let me show you how to go to heaven. 01:07:08.940 --> 01:07:11.640 What about this guy in the jungle 01:07:11.640 --> 01:07:12.760 that we've never heard of? 01:07:13.400 --> 01:07:14.500 It's like, well, you're not him. 01:07:14.760 --> 01:07:15.460 Yeah, yeah. 01:07:16.100 --> 01:07:17.020 We're talking about you. 01:07:17.260 --> 01:07:17.480 Yeah. 01:07:17.480 --> 01:07:19.180 Are you sure that you're gonna go to heaven? 01:07:19.460 --> 01:07:19.580 Yeah. 01:07:19.700 --> 01:07:20.980 Okay, after we get you saved, 01:07:21.140 --> 01:07:22.360 we'll go to the guy in the jungle 01:07:22.360 --> 01:07:23.280 and we'll try to get him saved. 01:07:23.560 --> 01:07:24.940 But you know, right now, we're talking about you. 01:07:25.740 --> 01:07:27.820 And you know, don't try to give me an excuse 01:07:27.820 --> 01:07:29.260 of why you should separate from your spouse 01:07:29.260 --> 01:07:30.660 because of some guy in the jungle 01:07:30.660 --> 01:07:31.980 that we don't know about 01:07:31.980 --> 01:07:33.440 of this hypothetical situation 01:07:33.440 --> 01:07:34.520 that we don't even know 01:07:34.520 --> 01:07:36.560 that's a completely screwed up situation 01:07:37.040 --> 01:07:38.260 that's a country music song. 01:07:38.440 --> 01:07:39.360 Let's not worry about that. 01:07:39.440 --> 01:07:40.680 Let's worry about this, okay? 01:07:41.480 --> 01:07:42.960 And for 99% of us, 01:07:43.460 --> 01:07:46.340 we're not ever gonna even dream of any of these scenarios. 01:07:46.800 --> 01:07:49.260 So let's just focus in on what the Bible's really teaching. 01:07:49.400 --> 01:07:49.920 Let's not separate. 01:07:50.080 --> 01:07:50.620 Let's not divorce. 01:07:50.800 --> 01:07:51.780 Let's not go down these paths. 01:07:52.180 --> 01:07:53.160 Let's love our spouse. 01:07:53.280 --> 01:07:53.820 Let's stay together. 01:07:54.580 --> 01:07:55.920 And you know, be very careful. 01:07:57.340 --> 01:07:59.780 I've shown you a lot of examples in here in the Bible. 01:07:59.900 --> 01:08:00.760 Be careful of this issue. 01:08:00.920 --> 01:08:02.760 Stay close to your spouse, all right? 01:08:03.160 --> 01:08:03.520 Let's go to some prayer. 01:08:03.980 --> 01:08:05.180 Thank you Heavenly Father so much for your word. 01:08:05.320 --> 01:08:06.060 Thank you for these examples. 01:08:06.320 --> 01:08:07.040 Thank you for your commandments. 01:08:07.960 --> 01:08:09.280 I pray that you would help couples 01:08:09.280 --> 01:08:11.640 that are struggling or have issues 01:08:11.640 --> 01:08:13.560 or even if they don't have issues, 01:08:13.560 --> 01:08:14.920 but they're just putting themselves 01:08:14.920 --> 01:08:16.140 in a difficult situation 01:08:16.140 --> 01:08:19.500 that they would realize the gravity of their marriage. 01:08:19.600 --> 01:08:22.780 They realize the gravity of their situation. 01:08:23.380 --> 01:08:25.260 And I pray that you would help couples to stay together. 01:08:25.400 --> 01:08:26.560 I hope that you would help them 01:08:26.560 --> 01:08:28.820 to show due benevolence one to another 01:08:29.320 --> 01:08:32.340 that we could reduce the fornication and adultery 01:08:32.340 --> 01:08:32.980 in this country. 01:08:33.120 --> 01:08:35.600 We could reduce all the sin and the wickedness 01:08:35.600 --> 01:08:36.540 in this country. 01:08:37.080 --> 01:08:38.800 I pray that you would help people to realize 01:08:38.800 --> 01:08:41.480 that keeping their vows important. 01:08:42.040 --> 01:08:43.360 I pray that you would help people 01:08:43.360 --> 01:08:44.940 to not only just stay married, 01:08:45.060 --> 01:08:46.820 but have a good marriage, to have a great marriage. 01:08:47.400 --> 01:08:49.060 They would encourage people to be more friendly 01:08:49.060 --> 01:08:52.580 to their spouse, to talk more positively to their spouse, 01:08:53.200 --> 01:08:55.320 to develop interests with their spouse, 01:08:55.440 --> 01:08:58.640 to spend time and energy and effort on their spouse. 01:08:59.160 --> 01:09:01.120 And that not only could people be married in this church, 01:09:01.200 --> 01:09:02.240 but they could have great marriages. 01:09:02.340 --> 01:09:03.220 In Jesus' name we pray amen.