Man, this is a very powerful microphone,
so I'm gonna try to put it on the lowest.
I had it turned up to 11,
but I'm gonna put it down to like one.
All right, there we go.
How's that sound?
Good?
Up, down?
All right.
Great to be here.
Thank you so much.
And it's great to see such a good turnout tonight.
Oh, and then I need to pop this on too.
All right.
Great turnout.
And it's exciting, the one year anniversary.
It feels like just yesterday
that I was hearing about this church plant.
So time has really flown.
And you guys are doing a great job out here.
I'm constantly seeing Brother Eric's stuff
coming up in my feed.
He's putting a lot of preaching out there into the world.
And so great work with that.
And also, I love the goal of 200 Salvation's
for the first year.
That's a really great goal
because that was actually my exact same goal
when we started Faithful Word.
And I remember just at the end of December,
having to take some time off
and just try to get those last couple Salvation's.
And as soon as I got that 200,
I'm like, I'm done, that's it.
So it was exactly 200.
And so that's a really awesome goal to have.
And so appreciate everybody who came out,
everybody who's gonna be soul winning tomorrow,
participating in the weekend.
And so I'm gonna preach to you tonight
on this subject,
marrying someone forbidden by parents.
Marrying someone forbidden by your parents.
So that might sound oddly specific,
but this is a subject that actually,
the Bible talks a lot about.
I was actually pretty surprised as I was writing this
and it started to turn into like a Pastor Shelley link,
kind of a sermon, just page after page after page.
So I'm gonna see if I can kind of condense some of this
because there's really a lot about this in the Bible.
And of course, we're living in a day.
The Bible says, perilous times will come.
Man will be lovers of their own selves.
And when we talk about those types of mentalities
that we see amongst the wicked
and amongst end times populations,
one thing that comes up a lot is disobedient to parents.
Right?
One of the tech commandments is honor,
thy father and mother,
which is the first commandment with promise
that it may be well with thee
and that may live long on the earth.
So my sermon tonight is gonna have two parts.
Part one is a son should marry a woman
that his parents approve of.
Number one.
And part two is a daughter must marry a man
that her father approves of.
Those are the two parts of the sermon
and we're gonna do a lot of Bible.
Let's back up just a little bit
to Genesis chapter number 26.
Genesis 26, the first bad example I wanna give
is Esau.
In Genesis chapter 26, the Bible reads in verse 34
and Esau was 40 years old
when he took to wife Judith,
the daughter of Birai the Hittite
and Bashamath, the daughter of Elon the Hittite.
So of course, not only is there a problem
with whom he's marrying,
there's also a problem with having two wives
because that's never been God's plan.
That's never been the ideal God at the beginning,
made the male and female
and said for this cause shall a man
leave his father and mother
and cleave unto his wife singular
and they twain shall be one flesh.
But he marries these two daughters of the land
and it says in verse 35,
which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebecca.
What a tragedy when you are tormenting
and upsetting and grieving your parents
by making this foolish decision
of marrying someone wicked.
Someone that your parents knows is wicked.
Your parents are warning you,
they're telling you this is wrong,
this is not a good idea.
You know, they're trying to look out for you
and then you're just a grief of mind to your parents
because you just stupidly marry someone
that they have not approved of.
Let me give you some other verse from Proverbs.
But if you would just flip the page to Genesis 27,
it says in Proverbs 17 21,
he that begetteth a fool,
doeth it to his own sorrow
and the father of a fool has no joy.
Okay, Proverbs 17 25,
a foolish son is a grief to his father
and bitterness to her that bear him.
And again, what did it say about these wives
that Esau married?
They were a grief of mind unto Isaac and Rebecca.
Proverbs 19 13,
a foolish son is the calamity of his father
and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
Proverbs 10 1,
a wise son maketh a glad father,
but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.
In other words, for heaviness is depression, right?
Because if you think about it, heaviness is weighing you down.
Depression is like when you're pressing something down,
like, you know, depress this button on this machine
or whatever.
And so the idea here is that when you do these things,
when you just don't listen to your parents' godly advice
and they watch you destroy your life,
they watch you make a train wreck of your life,
they watch you marry someone that's just red flag city.
It's a grief of mind unto them
and it's the heaviness of your mother.
Look at Genesis 27 verse 46.
Here's Rebecca speaking back about this in 26,
but in Genesis 27 46, it says,
Rebecca said to Isaac,
I am weary of my life.
I mean, what is he saying?
Like, man, I'm just sick of my life.
She's pretty upset.
I'm weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth.
If Jacob takes a wife of the daughters of Heth,
such as these which are of the daughters of the land,
what good shall my life do me?
That's a pretty strong statement.
You know, it seems like it can be pretty upsetting
to your parents when they see you marry someone wicked.
Flip over to chapter 28.
It says in Genesis chapter 28 verse 6,
when Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob
and sent him away to Padana Ram
to take him away from thence
and that as he blessed him,
he gave him a charge saying,
thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan
and that Jacob obeyed his father and his mother
and was gone to Padana Ram
and Esau, seeing that the daughters of Canaan,
please not Isaac his father,
then went Esau unto Ishmael
and took unto the wives which he had,
Mahalath, the daughter of Ishmael Abraham's son,
the sister of Nabejoth to be his wife.
So, you know, I guess he thinks he can just fix it
by just adding a third wife
that maybe they'll like a little better
because she's from a more normal family,
from a more normal tribe.
But here's the thing about this,
you know, this doesn't really fix things, does it?
Because the thing about getting married is that
it's permanent.
The thing about getting married is that it's for life
and it's such an important life decision.
And look, the prefrontal cortex of your brain
isn't even totally developed until you're 25.
You know, you gotta listen to wisdom
from other people around you
and you especially gotta listen to the parents
that God has given you.
And so remember part one of the sermon is called,
you know, a son should marry a woman
that his parents approve of.
Right, the wise son is gonna listen to the advice
of a spirit, yeah, he's gonna go out
and he's gonna marry who he wants,
but he should be listening to their advice.
And if they're saying, hey son,
get your wife from over here,
don't get your wife from over here,
that particular girl is bad news.
You know, the wise son's gonna listen to that.
And he's gonna hear his father's instruction,
he's gonna bow his ear unto the words of his mother.
And so that's what we see in the story of Jacob and Esau.
Jacob listens to his parents
and gets a wife that they approve of.
Esau does the opposite
and just tortures his mother to the point
where his mother is just like, man,
I don't even know what good my life is,
he may have to be to me
if Jacob does the same thing that Esau has done.
Let's look at another example.
Go to Judges chapter 14
because we're looking at two bad examples here
of men in the Bible who disobeyed their parents' advice
as far as who they married.
And here's the thing about Esau is that,
yeah, Esau, he did some wrong things.
The biggest thing that he did wrong was,
he despised his birthright, right?
And so because he despised his birthright
for one morsel of meat, he sold his birthright
and God was totally displeased with that
and he ended up causing him to lose the blessing.
And even though he was the elder brother,
the blessing ended up going to the younger brother
because Esau forfeited it with his carnal,
short-sighted way of thinking and way of living.
But here's the thing, Esau,
I don't think is just the most horrible person ever
in the Old Testament because if you remember,
later when Jacob comes back,
first he's super wicked
wanting to murder his brother Jacob,
but when Jacob comes back, he forgives him,
they hug, they get along,
he's at dad's funeral right there alongside Jacob.
So he doesn't necessarily seem like the worst person ever,
although he does, you know,
obviously picture something bad in the New Testament.
But here's the thing though,
is that his descendants are just total trash
and God said that he loved Jacob
and hated the Edomites.
He hated Esau, meaning the Edomites
and just totally destroyed their nation
and punished them and everything.
So here's the thing,
did this work out well for Esau,
marrying these heathen women
that his parents didn't approve of?
Well, all of his descendants
become just one of the most super wicked nations
that God is just judging and destroying
and God's even saying, I hate these people
and I have indignation against them forever.
That's what God says in the book of Malachi
about the Edomites in Malachi chapter one,
he says, the people against whom the Lord
has indignation forever.
I mean, that's not really the family
that you want to have.
And so therefore, you can see that he did wrong,
he disobeyed mom and dad
and he reaped the consequences of doing that.
Now let's look at another bad example
and that is Samson.
Look at Judges chapter 14 verse one,
the Bible reads Samson went down to Timnath
and saw a woman in Timnath
of the daughters of the Philistines
and he came up and told his father and mother
and said, I've seen a woman in Timnath
of the daughters of the Philistines
now therefore get her for me wife.
Then his father and his mother said in him
and like this is like the exact thing
that I would say to my kids,
this is the exact thing that you would say to your kids, right?
If they wanted to marry some heathen girl,
isn't this what you would say?
Is there never a woman among the daughters
of thy brethren or among all of my people
that thou goest to take a wife
of the uncircumcised Philistines, right?
Can't you just picture your own parents saying that,
you saying that, your brothers and sisters in Christ saying that.
That's what you always say.
There's all these fish in the sea.
Why do you want this one forbidden fruit?
Why do you want this one thing that's off limits?
You know, God has said of all the trees of the garden
now may as freely eat, there's one tree, it's a no.
The tree of the knowledge of good and evil
and yet you'll have young people
whether male or female fixate on someone
that their parents don't want them to marry.
And the parents are just like,
bro, what about all these other girls?
Is there never a girl at church?
Is there never a girl at one of these conferences?
Do you need to visit another Baptist church?
You know, why go to the Philistines?
Marry someone that we approve of.
And it's not like they're just having arbitrary like,
hey, we just only prefer blondes
or something in the family.
This is like, look, we're looking
for spiritual quality here.
The problem with the Philistines
is that they're worshiping Dagon, a false God.
That's the problem.
And so they're like, look,
isn't there another girl that you like?
And Samson said to his father,
get her for me for she pleases me well.
So he disobeys parents advice.
Now it says in verse four,
we don't want to misunderstand verse four.
It says in verse four,
but his father and mother knew not
that it was of the Lord
that he sought an occasion against the Philistines
for at that time the Philistines
had dominion over Israel.
Now here's the thing.
It was not of the Lord that he disobeyed his parents.
It's not of the Lord that he's marrying a heathen.
The thing that was of the Lord
is that he sought an occasion against the Philistines.
God had put in Samson's heart
the desire to fight back against the Philistines.
He wanted to go against the Philistines.
God had put in his heart.
He's looking for a reason, right?
Doesn't that mean seek an occasion against them?
He's just like, give me a reason, bro.
He's looking for a fight
with the enemies of the Lord, with the Philistines.
But here's the thing about Samson,
even though the Lord has called him for this purpose,
even before he was born,
the angel Lord's predicting greatness for Samson
and giving him this charge,
even though he has the right desire
to fight the Philistines,
he's gonna continually go about things the wrong way.
So although Samson has the right mission
and the right desire in a big picture of serving God,
he ends up going about it the wrong way
every step of the way.
And so ultimately God is going to use him
to deliver the Israelites from the Philistines,
but his personal life, because of his sins
of disobeying his parents,
and he's gonna dishonor his parents more later
because not only does he disobey them
with respect to whom he's gonna marry,
he's also gonna disobey them later
or not really disobey them,
but he's gonna do them dirty
when he brings them contaminated honey
that he pulled out of a dead body,
which is not something that the Israelites
are supposed to be doing,
they're supposed to be super clean
and following all these laws
about not touching dead bodies and being clean.
You know, he sins by violating his Nazarite vow
and just violating just basic decency
and cleanliness of an Israelite,
and then he involves his parents in that
without even telling them.
I mean, look, if you're gonna feed me food
that you found inside of a dead body,
I wanna know about it.
And it's not right for him to do that to,
it just shows like a disdain
or lack of respect for his parents.
You know, like he's probably laughing,
like, hey, you guys like that honey,
you know, eat up guys or whatever.
But the point is that Samson, yes,
he has a right desire and a right mission
that he ultimately ironically fulfills,
he ends up living a super messed up life
and dying a horrible death
as a result of doing things wrong.
Jump down to verse 17,
let's see how well this goes for Samson.
Disobeying his parents advice
when it comes to whom he marries.
Look at verse 17, she wept before him the seven days
while their feast lasted.
And it came to pass on the seventh day
that he told her because she lay sore upon him
and she told the riddle to the children of her people.
Now, I'm not gonna go into the whole story
for sake of time.
If you don't know the story,
then do yourself a favor,
get a cup of hot cocoa and sit down and read,
you know, chapters 14, 15, 16.
This is a great story.
I actually started 13
about the prediction of his birthday.
You know, it's a great story.
It's an interesting story,
but the thing that I really wanna drive in
is that he sees this woman of the Philistines,
he talks to her, she pleases him well,
he wants to marry her,
mom and dad said no,
she's off limits, but he does it anyway.
I want you to notice that when they get married,
they spend a week together of the honeymoon
as they're celebrating and feasting
with her people for seven days.
Is this a fun honeymoon?
Is this a honeymoon where like,
hey, it all went bad later,
but man, that honeymoon, that was all worth it?
No, because it says that for that seven days,
she is just torturing him the whole time
by just weeping and being upset
and just laying sore upon him
and she just vexes him so much
that he finally just gives in and tells her the riddle
and then she tells the people.
Again, you gotta read the story on your own
to understand what I mean by that.
But the point is, not a fun relationship.
First of all, the whole marriage only lasts for seven days
and it's just seven miserable days of a nagging woman
what we just read it earlier,
the contentions of a wife are continual dropping.
That's literally Samson's seven day marriage
with this woman.
And no, this is not Delilah,
this woman, we don't know her name,
it's a different woman.
Delilah's gonna come later.
But then it says in verse 20,
so after the seven days of just bad relationship,
verse 20, Samson's wife was given to his companion
whom he had used as his friend.
So put yourself in this position, okay?
You just married the girl that you want,
you have seven days of just a trash honeymoon
that you hate, you're miserable the whole time
and then you end up getting angry, leaving
and then her dad just gives her to somebody else.
And so it says Samson's wife was given to his companion
whom he had used as his friend.
Now this is kind of the ultimate insult
when somebody just takes your wife
and gives her to somebody else.
Some other guy is enjoying your wife now.
Chapter 15, verse six, then the Philistines said,
and we're skipping the story because of time.
Hopefully you just kind of know the story,
otherwise these points still stand.
Look at verse six, then the Philistines said,
who had done this?
And they answered Samson, the son-in-law of the Timnite
because he had taken his wife and given her to his companion
and the Philistines came up and burnt her and her father
in just in case you don't know what burnt means, with fire.
Okay, so this is not like, this is like,
well they got burned, you know, metaphorically.
No, no, no, this is the with fire kind of burning.
Okay, so basically seven days of bad marriage,
she ends up being given to another dude,
then she gets burned at the stake with her dad.
Now, does this sound like the kind of life
that you wanna live?
Is this the way you want your marriage to go?
Is this the way that you want your life to go?
You know what, then maybe you should marry someone
that your parents prove of
because this is how the Bible describes situations
where men are going against their parents' teachings
and wisdom and counsel.
Now here's the thing, you know,
men obviously in the Bible and life in our world
have more freedom than women, you know?
Men, they're gonna grow up,
they're gonna do what they're gonna do,
they're gonna be the leaders,
they're gonna be the heads of their own household someday
and so they have more autonomy than women do
and that's why part one of the sermon is called
a son should marry a woman that his parents approve of.
I mean, if you're a young man,
you say, well, I'm a man, I'm my own man,
I'm gonna leave father and mother and cleave my wife,
I'm gonna do whatever I want.
Okay, but here's the, but if you're smart though,
even if your parents aren't directly ruling over you,
you should still be smart enough to just listen to them
if they're telling you, hey, this girl's a bad idea.
You should stay away from this girl,
this girl's bad news, you know?
And even in Proverbs 31, the famous passage,
she's giving her son advice about what to look for
in a woman and obviously our parents,
they're looking out for us,
they have our best interests are,
they tell us this woman is bad news, off limits.
You should listen to that.
Whether you feel like you have to or not,
you definitely should listen to that
godly counsel from your parents,
your parents are looking out for you
and doing what's best for you, but here's the thing,
you know, when it comes to daughters,
they must, they must marry a man
that their husband approves of
or they are just in defiance of their dad,
which makes them in defiance of God.
Okay, because this is not optional
and this is where the pages and pages
of my notes are coming from
because the Bible just can't stop talking about this
over and over again.
And yet, when you talk about this today,
this is a foreign concept for me to tell people,
I have veto power over whom my daughter marries.
You know, I have the power to veto a suitor
for my daughter, that is what the Bible teaches.
And look, I don't care how modernized
and feminized our society becomes,
you know, at the end of the day, the Bible doesn't change
and I believe that I'm gonna prove that to you
from the Bible tonight.
And you know, I have 61 verses in my sermon here,
including the ones that we've already read.
So I'm not making this up, folks.
Go if you would to Exodus chapter 22.
This is the first place we're gonna look at.
Exodus chapter 22, so now we're in part two
of the sermon, which has to do with daughters.
You know, with sons, yeah,
sons are gonna go out and they're gonna
leave father and mother, they're gonna go take a wife
and if they're smart, they're gonna listen to mom and dad.
They're not gonna be an Esau torturing their parents,
being a fool, being a grief of mind,
depressing their mom by marrying some weird flusie,
some rotten girl, the strange woman,
horus woman, promiscuous woman or whatever
that the parents have warned them about, right?
The wise son is gonna listen to mom and dad, okay?
But when it comes to the daughter,
you know, the father has the veto power
just full stop, just, he just does.
And she must marry a man that her father approves of.
Look what the Bible says in Exodus chapter 22, verse 16.
It says, if a man and Tice are made that is not betrothed,
so she's not already betrothed to someone else,
she's not already engaged to another man,
she's just a single girl, and if a man and Tice,
right, what does entice mean?
To seduce her, you know, he's whining and dining her,
he's smooth talking her, and he entices her
into committing fornication is what this is talking about.
And so it says, if a man entices a maid
that is not betrothed and lie with her,
he shall surely endow her to be his wife.
So basically, if a man is gonna go out there
and just deflower some virgin,
then the Bible is saying, you know,
he's required to marry the girl as a result.
Now again, this is where retarded atheists
and people will come along and say,
like, oh, the Bible commands you to marry your rapist
or something, first of all, no.
Okay, because this is not a rapist.
It says a man is enticing a maid.
If I said, hey, could I entice you
to go to Red Robin after the service and get a burger?
Which is that, that doesn't mean I'm just gonna grab
the burger and shove it in your mouth.
Doesn't mean I'm gonna tie you up
and put you in the back of the car
and take you down there, does it?
Entice is getting someone to want
to do something themselves
because you're seducing them, you're enticing them.
That's what the Bible is saying here.
And the parallel passage in Deuteronomy
is talking about the same situation.
It uses slightly different wording,
but because it says, you know,
he lays hold on her and lies with her,
that's where they get this foolish meaning
in the modern versions, but really just, you know,
to have and to hold, obviously, if you get physical,
it's pretty hard to get physical without laying hold.
So it's dumb, but anyway.
So what we see here is that if a man
entice a maid that is not patrolled and lie with her,
he shall surely endow her to be his wife,
meaning he's required on his end
to be willing to marry the girl
if he's gonna be out there
deflowering this virgin.
But it says if her father utterly refused
to give her unto him,
he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.
So the idea here is that he on his end
because he seduced this girl and she's a virgin,
he has to actually marry her.
But if her dad's like, no, I don't want her to marry you,
which you could see that
because if this guy's already committing fornication,
you know, there's a good chance that dad is gonna say,
well, I don't want my daughter with this guy.
You know, he might want her to be with the guy
because, you know, now she's used merchandise quote, unquote.
And so, you know,
maybe she's not gonna have as good of chances
with other guys.
So he's just like, yeah, the lesser evil, whatever,
marry her, make it on a swimming over, shotgun wedding.
Okay, but if he's just like, no, this guy's trash.
This guy's rotten.
I don't want you being with this guy.
Then he basically pays the dowry as if he married her,
but he doesn't marry her
because the dad is utterly refusing to give him to her.
So to me, the first thing I see here
is that the dad has the power and folks,
this is not the only verse.
We're gonna look at dozens of verses.
The dad has the power to give
or not give this woman in marriage.
He can either say, yes, you may marry my daughter
or he can say, no, you may not.
And he may utterly refuse,
meaning no way, know how it ain't happening,
then he doesn't marry the girl.
Now, here's the thing.
Young women may think,
and this is something to be careful of,
that if they have fooled around with a guy
or fornicated with a guy that they must marry that guy,
this is false.
Because the Bible says right here
that even if she is fornicated with this guy,
the dad can still pull the plug on this and whatever.
So don't think that just because you as a young lady
have fooled around with some guy
or went too far with a guy or committed a fornication,
don't think that that means
that you have to marry the guy.
Let's say you have an unsaved boyfriend.
You don't wanna just think,
oh, well now I have to marry him
because I've already gone too far.
It's like, well, no, doesn't the Bible tell us
not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers?
Or what if your parents are saying, no, don't do it.
I'm utterly refusing to give you to him.
Sorry to confuse you with the Bible,
but this is what the Bible says.
Look at, and also another thing is,
go if you were to numbers 30.
This is a little bit off topic.
We're gonna get right back on topic.
But I think this does continue
to drive in the point a little bit
is that sometimes maybe young women
could foolishly make a verbal commitment
to a young man without dad's permission.
Like basically just kind of saying something like,
oh, I'm gonna marry you
or you're the only one for me
and I promise I'm gonna,
I promise I'm only gonna marry you or whatever.
You know what, here's the thing.
Young ladies don't have the power
to make that kind of a vow or a bond stick
because their dad has a veto power over that.
Look what the Bible says in Numbers chapter 30, verse three.
It says, if a woman also vow a vow unto the Lord
and bind herself by a bond,
being in her father's house,
in her youth and her father hear her vow
and her bond wherewith she had bound her soul
and her father shall hold his peace at her,
then all her vows shall stand
and every bond wherewith she had bound her soul shall stand.
But if her father disallow her
in the day that he hear it, don't miss that,
in the day that he hear it,
not any of her vows or of the bonds
wherewith she had bound her soul shall stand
and the Lord shall forgive her
because her father disallowed her.
And so what the Bible's saying here is
that if she basically makes some stupid commitment,
let's say dad doesn't even hear about it
until six months later, a year later, 18 months later too.
Doesn't matter.
In the day that he hears it, if he says,
that's stupid, you're not gonna do that,
then it's just, there goes the vow.
So we may live in this feminist society
where the young women just have autonomy,
but you know what, these young ladies
living in their dad's house
are under their dad's authority.
That's what the Bible says.
Go to Genesis chapter 29.
Genesis chapter 29,
we're gonna just look at a whole bunch of verses.
We're gonna just look at a whole bunch of examples of this.
We're gonna probably move pretty fast through some of these
because again, there's just a mountain of evidence
on this issue that the father
gives away his daughter in marriage.
And of course, here's the thing about that
is that in our modern day wedding ceremony,
we still do this.
I mean, we still have a father
walking his daughter down the aisle
and the question is as, who gives this woman away?
I do and he gives the daughter away,
but sadly, unfortunately to many people,
I guess this is just some kind of a relic
of a bygone era
and it's just some kind of a vestige of another time,
but it is biblical
and these things go back to a time
when our culture was more biblical
and it's just kind of little traces of it left
to where even the most feminized he then
will still somehow just have her dad walk her down the aisle,
although it's probably on vogue now
to just walk yourself down the aisle and things like that.
And look, I'm not trying to offend anyone.
I understand that there could be situations
where dad's out of the picture
and so dad didn't walk you down the aisle
and everything.
I'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings.
I'm not trying to insult anybody.
I'm not trying to go back
and examine what you middle-aged people did
and your youth or something.
You know, what we're talking about
is we're talking about young people
growing up in a Christian home, right?
Young ladies growing up in a Christian home
and some weirdo, some idiot,
is enticing them, seducing them
or just getting them emotionally involved
in a relationship where their parents
are looking at this guy
and it's red flag city, rotten guy
and they're just like,
I don't wanna give my daughter to this guy
and it's like we've lost this idea
that the father gives away the daughter in marriage.
And I think that you're going to be overwhelmed
by the amount of evidence
that I'm about to show you in the Bible
because it's, you know,
I just showed you, you know, Exhibit A,
which was, you know,
if he utterly refused her to give it to him.
You know, and then Exhibit B was numbers.
Well, we're gonna run out of letters in the alphabet,
is all I'm gonna say, okay.
But look if you would at Genesis 29 verse 18.
It says in Jacob loved Rachel
and said, I will serve these seven years
for Rachel, thy younger daughter.
Genesis 29, 19, and Laban said,
it is better that I give her to thee
than that I should give her to another man.
Abide with me.
And Jacob served seven years for Rachel
and they seemed unto him but a few days
for the love that he had to her.
And Jacob said to Laban,
give me my wife for my days are fulfilled
that I may go in unto her.
Now look, isn't it super clear here
dad has the power to give or not give his daughter
unto this man as a wife.
Look at chapter 34 verse eight.
Here's another example.
And again, these maybe aren't the best examples
but I'm just going in order
and we have a lot to cover.
So I just wanna hit all of them.
At least all the ones I could find on the airplane,
on the way here, when I wrote the sermon.
Genesis 34, eight, it says,
and Hamor communed with them saying,
the soul of my son sheikim,
longeth for your daughter,
I pray you give her to him to wife
and make ye marriages with us
and give your daughters unto us
and take our daughters unto you.
Jump down to verse 16.
Then will we give our daughters unto you
and we will take your daughters to us
and we will dwell with you
and we will become one people.
Look at verse 21.
These men are peaceable with us.
Therefore let them dwell in the land
and trade therein for the land.
Behold, it is large enough for them.
Let us take their daughters to us for wives
and let us give them our daughters.
So over and over again,
we're gonna see this pattern of the father
giving the daughter to the man as his wife.
Go to Deuteronomy chapter seven.
Deuteronomy chapter number seven.
I'm gonna give you time to get there
because I want you to see these.
I'm gonna start reading it
while you're on your way there though.
Deuteronomy seven three,
neither shalt thou make marriages with them.
Thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son,
nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.
Now look, how would this even make any sense
if the father doesn't have the power
to stop these unions from happening?
Wouldn't he just be addressing
and saying just straight to the young ladies,
hey, listen young ladies,
don't marry these guys,
don't, he's just like, no, no, no, dad,
don't allow your daughter to marry this guy.
That's what the Bible is saying over and over again.
It's just assumed it's a foregone conclusion
that he has that authority.
In the law of God, Deuteronomy chapter seven,
do not give your daughter unto them.
Don't take his daughter unto your son.
His whose daughter?
Some guy, right?
The wicked, the heathen, his daughter.
Why? Because it's coming from the dad.
The dad is sanctioning these unions
throughout history, throughout the world,
throughout the ages, throughout millennia,
throughout Christianity, throughout history.
This is the way it has always been
and this is the way it is in the Bible consistently.
Let's keep looking because we're just getting started.
Look at Joshua chapter 15,
Joshua chapter number 15.
And I'm going to start reading it
while you turn there, Joshua 15, 16.
And Caleb said,
he that smited the Kirch at Sefer
and takeeth it,
to him will I give AXA my daughter to wife.
So notice, I mean, who is calling the shots here?
That is.
And Othniel, the son of Kenaz,
the brother of Caleb, took it
and he gave him AXA his daughter to wife
and it came to pass as she came unto him
that she moved him to ask of her father afield.
And she lighted off her ass
and Caleb said unto her,
what wouldest thou who answered,
give me a blessing, for thou has given me a South land,
give me also springs of water,
and he gave her the upper springs
and the nether springs.
So there you go.
They lived happily ever after.
Look at Judges chapter 21.
Judges chapter number 21.
Next book after Joshua is Judges.
Judges 21 verse one.
It says this,
now the men of Israel had sworn in Mispi saying,
there shall not any of us give his daughter
unto Benjamin to wife.
And then what's the reaction that is just like,
well, Benjamin is just not gonna have any wives
because none of these daughters,
none of these fathers are willing
to give their daughter to him and wife,
then he's just not gonna have a wife.
Well, did you ask these daughters?
You know, maybe they just want to do it,
but they can't go against their dad forbidding it again
in the Bible.
And here's the thing.
This is not to say that we should do arranged marriages.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm not up here saying,
hey, we need to arrange marriages.
Hey, I'm gonna pick who my daughter marries
and you should pick who your daughter marries.
That's not what we're saying at all.
What we're saying is that the father has veto power,
meaning that when there is a suitor,
when there is a guy and a gal and they're dating
and they want to get married,
the father has the right to say, you know what, no.
Or he has the right to say yes.
And the father wants what's best for his daughter,
he's not trying to keep her from having romance and love,
whatever, but the father is there to protect her
from someone that he knows is rotten.
He knows is bad.
And you know, that's why he's gonna say no.
Now look, obviously I'm sure that there have been,
you know, mean dads over the years
that have, you know, somewhere at some time,
you know, pushed or pressured or forced their daughter
to marry some skivvy guy that she wasn't into or whatever.
Like, okay, whatever, that's not the point though.
The point is, you know, we're Christians in America.
In 2026, we love our children.
We love our daughters.
We're looking out for them.
We don't want them marrying creeps and freaks and weirdos.
And so we're out here trying to protect our daughters
and we live in this stupid,
feminized, baloney culture that is just gonna say,
well, you know what gives you the right
to say no to this guy.
You know what gives me the right is that I am the father.
That's what gives me the right.
The Bible gives me the right.
6,000 years of human history gives me the right.
Look what the Bible says.
Do we read verse one?
Now jump down to verse 18.
How be it, we may not give them wives of our daughters
for the children of Israel have sworn saying,
cursed be he that give it the wife to Benjamin.
How would that make any sense
unless they have the power to either give or not give?
How do you even understand this?
If you don't take that as given.
Go to first Samuel chapter 17.
First Samuel chapter 17.
It says in first Samuel chapter 17 verse 25,
and the men of Israel said,
have you seen this man that has come up?
Surely to defy Israel, is he come up?
And it shall be that the man who killed with him,
the king will enrich him with great riches
and will give him his daughter
and make his father's house free in Israel.
Go to chapter 18 verse 17.
I'm gonna start reading it while you get there.
1817 and Saul said to David,
behold my elder daughter Mirab,
her will I give thee to wife,
only be thou valiant for me
and fight the Lord's battles.
For Saul said, let not my hand be upon him,
but let the hand of the Philistines be upon him.
Jump down to verse 19.
But it came to pass at the time
when Mirab Saul's daughter should have been given
to David that she was given unto
Adriel the Mholothite to wife.
Flip over to Ezra chapter nine.
And of course, we know that David ends up
marrying Saul's other daughter,
specifically because Saul's other daughter
is romantically interested in David.
It talks about how Mikal actually is expressing,
hey, I'd love to be married to David.
I think David's a great guy.
So here's the thing, again,
this is not saying, hey, we just pick out
our daughter's husbands or whatever.
No, but what it is is that, you know,
when they say, hey, I want to marry this guy,
it's a yay or an A.
And obviously we don't want to abuse that
by just vetoing every guy that we, you know,
aren't just super duper jazzed about.
But you know what, when there are serious problems,
serious red flags, if he's unsaved,
if he's shown himself to be of unsavory character,
if you're looking at this guy
and just think this guy's a psychopath,
this guy's a weirdo, this guy's a freak,
this guy's effeminate, this guy's weird,
you know, and then there's like a serious problem.
You know, don't we have the right to protect our daughters
and step in and say, well, I'm not gonna give my daughter
in marriage unto this man.
Look at Ezra chapter nine, verse 12.
Now therefore, give not your daughters under their sons,
neither take their daughters under your sons,
nor seek their peace or their wealth forever,
that you may be strong and eat the good of the land
and leave it for an inheritance to your children forever.
Flip over to Nehemiah chapter 10.
And you know, some people would look at all these verses
because we've looked at a lot already, haven't we?
I mean, let me just count as far as how many verses
specifically talked about the husband giving
his daughter in marriage or refusing
to give his daughter in marriage.
You know, we saw Exodus 22, I think numbers 30,
even though it's not direct, it pretty much,
you know, would count.
Genesis 29, Genesis 34 says it, what?
One, two, three, four times.
Deuteronomy seven, Joshua, Judges 21, you know.
So we're on like our, what, 13, 14, 15.
This is our 16th, like just clear mention of this.
And some people would look at all this,
and you know, we're not even halfway through by the way.
So buckle up.
But some people would look at this and say,
well, this is a cultural, this is a cultural.
It's kind of funny how it's just every single culture
in the Bible though.
Oh, it's just cultural, bro.
Yeah, every culture.
Yeah, that's right.
I mean, it's like, oh, it's just this part of the Bible.
It's like every section of the Bible.
It's Torah, it's historical books.
It's, you know, the post-exilic literature.
It's Psalms, it's all over the gamut, New Testament,
Gospels, Epistles, right?
So it's cultural, bro.
Yeah, every normal culture, you're right.
For thousands of years.
But now that it's not just cultural,
because a lot of this is not just describing culture
or describing what happened.
A lot of it is God saying,
don't give your wife to this guy.
Yes, give your wife to these people.
Don't give her,
how is that cultural when God is commanding these things?
God is putting in law, does say at the Lord,
if he utterly refused to give her,
does say at the Lord, thou shalt not give your wife
unto these people over here?
I mean, no, you can't just write off all of this.
Some of it, you could say, hey, it's a story, bro.
But you know what, a lot of this is directives
coming out of the mouth of God,
telling people to do things.
And so that doesn't really work.
Look at Nehemiah 10, 29.
They clave to their brethren,
because we already read Ezra, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay, Nehemiah 10, 29,
it says they clave to their brethren,
their nobles, and entered into a curse,
and into an oath to walk in God's law,
which was given by Moses, the servant of God,
and to observe and do all the commandments of the Lord,
our Lord, and his judgments and his statutes,
and that we would not give our daughters
unto the people of the land,
nor take their daughters for our sons.
Look at Nehemiah 13.
And remember, people get emotional about this,
they get upset about this,
because remember how emotional Rebecca was?
Back in Genesis, and she said,
man, if Jacob marries one of these women
of the sons of Heth,
my life's not even gonna be any good to me anymore.
I might as well just die,
because these women are a grief of mine to me.
And here we're gonna see
a little bit of emotion from Nehemiah as well.
And I contended with them,
verse 25 of Nehemiah 13,
I contended with them and cursed them
and smote certain of them.
So he's actually hitting people
and plucked off their hair.
You know, he's just like, look, okay, that's what I did.
He's doing a little confession here.
And made them swear by God saying,
ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons,
nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves.
Go to Psalm 78, verse 63.
Psalm 78, verse 63.
While you're turning to Psalm 78,
I'm gonna read for you from Jeremiah,
chapter 29, verse 6.
And again, I'm just showing you that this is mentioned,
this is brought up in every section of the Bible.
Torah, historical books, poetic books, prophetic books,
gospels, epistles, it's everywhere.
Consistent.
Psalm 78, 63, the fire consumed their young men
and their maidens were not given to marriage.
Jeremiah 29, 6 says this, you don't have to turn there,
but if you would flip over to Matthew 22,
it says in Jeremiah 29, 6,
take ye wives and beget sons and daughters
and take wives for your sons
and give your daughters to husbands.
Is that cultural when God is saying,
give your wives to, or give, excuse me,
give your daughters to husbands
that they may bear sons and daughters
and that you may be increased there
and not diminished, right?
But I guess every wedding ceremony is wrong.
Every Bible verse is wrong.
Every cultural example of this is wrong.
And we just finally got this right
in the 20th century with this I am woman, hear me war,
type of feminist, female autonomy view of this subject,
I'm not buying it.
And what's funny is when someone claims
to be an old-fashioned, independent, fundamental,
and then they get these super modern ideas
and act like this kind of stuff
is just super antiquated and crazy.
It's like, wow, you're so cutting edge
for being an old-fashioned, old-time
King James fundamental Baptist.
You are right there with the times, that's amazing.
Look at chapter 22 verse 30 of Matthew.
It says, for in the resurrection,
they neither marry, that's talking about men,
marrying women, nor are given in marriage,
that's talking about women being given
to husbands by their dads is what that means.
Better as the angels of God in heaven,
flip over to chapter 24.
It says in Matthew 24, 37,
but as the days of Noah were,
so shall also the coming of the Son of Man be,
for as in the days that were before the flood,
they were eating and drinking,
marrying and giving in marriage.
Why?
Because men marry and women are given in marriage
by their dad every single time.
That's right, man.
It says that they were eating and drinking,
marrying and giving in marriage,
until the flood, excuse me,
until the day that Noah entered into the ark.
Look at Mark chapter 12.
Actually, go straight to Luke 17 for sake of time.
You go to Luke 17.
I'm gonna read you Mark 12.
Same thing for when they shall rise from the dead,
they neither marry nor are given in marriage,
but are as the angels, which are in heaven.
Look at Luke 17, 27, they did eat, they drank,
they married wives, they were given in marriage
until the day that Noah entered into the ark
and the flood came and destroyed them all.
Look at Luke chapter 20.
Few pages to the right, Luke 20, beginning in verse 34.
And Jesus answering, said unto them,
the children of this world,
marry and are given in marriage,
but they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain
that world and the resurrection from the dead,
neither marry nor are given in marriage.
I mean, does God just love using more words
than is necessary?
Is that what God loves to do?
He's like Charles Dickens or something, right?
He's like Victor Hugo, just 50 pages
of just these random asides,
waxing eloquent about the times
and about what the room looked like.
No, what you'll actually notice
if you actually study the Bible from a literary standpoint,
you will know that especially the Old Testament,
but even the New Testament has an economic style of writing,
meaning that there is nothing that's just accidental.
Like if you're reading an Old Testament story,
no one is physically described
unless their physical appearance
actually affects the story.
You know, if you read a modern novel,
there'd just be pages and pages
describing what people look like,
what does the house look like,
what does the street look like,
what the Bible is not like that.
The Bible is written in this very economic style.
So if the Bible tells you that Absalom has long hair,
it's because he's going to be hanging
from a tree by his hair a few pages later.
You know, so the Bible,
it only gives you these facts when you need them.
The Bible doesn't just include
all this just redundant extra meaningless information
just to make it entertaining
or just to fill space or hit a word count.
Why is the Bible so consistent over and over again
in Matthew 22, Matthew 24, Mark 12, Luke 17, Luke 20?
Why is it so consistent to say
marrying and giving in marriage,
marrying and giving in marriage?
Why doesn't it just say marrying?
Why don't you just say people are getting married?
People are marrying, people marry.
Wouldn't that be easier?
Why is it always just like marrying, giving in marriage?
Marrying, giving in marriage.
It's almost like God sees this as the norm
and is prescribing this as the norm
and Genesis the Revelation is only showing this
as the norm that men marry
and women are given in marriage by their fathers.
Now, this is the last place we're going to turn.
First Corinthians chapter seven.
I know I scared you with how long my outline is,
but I move fast.
So we're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
First Corinthians chapter seven is the last place
we're going to look at.
So just, you know, as far as just really clear statements
to this effect, I think we were up to 16
when we were in Ezra.
So what do we got?
17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27 times.
27 times I could point to,
where this is very clearly laid out
that this is how this works in the world.
Every part of scripture, very consistent.
So is this a wild idea?
Is this like this revolutionary,
most groundbreaking sermon of the year, right?
Pastor Anderson has just shocked the world
with this electrifying new doctrine.
Folks, it's 27 times.
It's every wedding ceremony, every culture.
It's been going on for thousands of years.
Such a wild idea.
Look at first Corinthians chapter seven, verse 35.
Now this is a scripture that a lot of people goof this up.
And if you have the modern versions,
well just, you might as well just give up now
because this is so screwed up in the modern versions,
you don't even have a prayer of understanding it.
You just, you have no chance.
So just close your Bible and go home at that point.
But if you have the King James,
I think if you slow down and read this
in the King James, you can understand it.
It can make sense to you.
It says in first Corinthians seven, 35,
and this I speak for your own profit.
Not that I may cast a snare upon you,
but for that which is cumbly.
And I don't want you to miss that word cumbly.
I'm gonna explain this.
And that you may attend upon the Lord
without distraction.
So just to kind of bring you up to speed in the chapter,
he starts out at the beginning of first Corinthians seven
and saying, look, you know,
it's good for a man not to touch a woman,
but nevertheless to avoid fornication,
let every man have his own wife
and let every woman have her own husband.
You know, that's the norm.
Most people need that.
That's God's will for the vast majority of people's lives,
you know, that they just get married
and that men have their wife and wives have their husband
and that's the way it's supposed to be.
But he goes on to explain, you know,
there are exceptions to that.
You know, and he talks about how, you know,
he himself is single and by being single,
the apostle Paul could just totally dedicate himself
to the Lord.
He's just serving God and he's unencumbered
by having to worry about keeping his wife happy
or dealing with a family or anything like that.
So it allows him really just to go all in.
But he says, you know, not everybody has that gift of God,
you know, where he has that gift
where he is continent enough
and to where he doesn't have some super drive
to like, I have to be with a woman, you know,
and by the way, you know, this isn't always just physical.
Obviously we as human beings,
not only do we have that biological physical drive
to be intimate with our spouse,
but also, you know, there's that drive
for just the emotional intimacy
and just the companionship of having a life's mate
and having that deep close friendship
that is within marriage that's different
than any other relationship
that you're ever gonna have in your life.
It's a unique bond and some people are yearning for that
in fact, the vast majority of people
really want that meaningful relationship with their spouse.
And this is part of why I'm not going all the way
to the extreme of saying like,
oh, we gotta have arranged marriages
because there's thing, you know, we obviously,
you know, we want people to be married to someone
that they actually do want to be with obviously, you know,
and you know, we don't wanna foist a husband
upon a woman and she doesn't really like the guy
or vice versa foisting a woman upon a man
and he, you know, he's not attracted to her or whatever.
Obviously, you know, you want this relationship
to be beautiful and the vast majority of people
really want this in their life, it's important to them.
And so the vast majority of people should get married,
but there are exceptions where a person,
whether male or female, is just really not super interested
in romantic love, not super tempted
by that physical relationship.
And so they could just be happy being single
and they just, you know, they're just going
on mission trips, serving God, doing great works for God.
And so what the Bible is really saying here is that
even though most of the Bible is kind of pushing you
toward marriage, 1 Corinthians 7 is put in the Bible
just to kind of show you, look, you know,
there are gonna be exceptions,
not everyone is gonna get married.
We don't need to push everybody to get married.
There are gonna be some exceptions and so forth.
So that's the context.
And so he says in verse 35,
I speak this for your own profit,
not that I may cast a snare upon you.
I'm not trying to trip you up here,
but he says for that, which is comely,
comely means, you know, it's suitable,
it's appropriate, it works well, it goes well,
it makes sense, you know, right?
It's suitable.
He's saying, you know, I'm talking about
what is appropriate, suitable, what's gonna work well
so that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
He's saying, if you're single, obviously, you know,
you're gonna have more time, energy, whatever,
to just go all in on serving the Lord.
And so, you know, that could be a thing for some people
like the apostle Paul, doing all these missions.
And there have been people throughout history
and people that we've even known that are singles
and they go out and they're just at every mission strip
and soul winning and doing all these great works
and amen, no issue there.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that lifestyle
as long as you don't make any silly vows
or oaths or demand other people to make vows and oaths
and whatever, you should always keep an open mind
about the future.
But look at verse 36, okay, so now that we got that,
you know, he said, hey, this is comely
that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
But if any man think it, that he behave
with himself uncomely, so this is that which is like
not suitable, doesn't fit, doesn't work
toward his virgin, if she passed the flower
of her age and needs so require, let him do what he will.
He said, not let them marry.
And so a lot of people will twist this
or misinterpret this and think that when it says
his virgin, it's talking about like the boyfriend
or something, no, boyfriends don't have a virgin.
They don't own her because they're not married, right?
When it says here that a man
behave with himself uncomely toward his virgin,
it's talking about a father who is basically
not allowing his daughter to get married
and instead of it being a good comely thing
for her to serve the Lord without distraction,
it's actually just him actually just keeping her
from something good in her life that she needs,
which is marriage.
So it's uncomely for him to prevent her from marriage.
Follow me and it's gonna make sense.
Keep reading and it's gonna make sense.
It says, if he behave himself uncomely toward his virgin,
if she passed fast, if she passed the flower of her age,
so again, the Bible is 100% against child brides,
pedophilia, you're these weirdos, sometimes,
oh, the Bible never condemns pedophilia and child brides.
Yeah, it's right here, bozo.
It says, if she passed the flower of her age,
meaning that she's passed the age
where she is totally 100% in bloom, totally,
we're talking about fully grown, fully developed period.
She's passed that point.
You know, so we're talking about obviously
a fully mature, physically woman,
not an adolescent or anything like that,
but actually an adult, biologically speaking.
Adults, marriage is for adults, amen?
No child brides.
If she passed the flower of her age and need so require,
let him do what he will, he said it not,
and then watch the change of pronoun, let them marry.
So the he is the dad.
The dad is going to give his daughter away in marriage
so that they can get married, okay?
Here's the proof, keep reading.
It says in verse number 37,
nevertheless, he that standeth steadfast in his art,
having no necessity, but hath power over his own will
and hath so decreed in his art
that he will keep his virgin, doeth well,
so then he that giveth her in marriage, doeth well,
but he that giveth her not in marriage, doeth better.
So notice the he here this whole time
is a guy who's either giving his virgin away in marriage
or he's not giving his virgin away in marriage.
He's either letting them marry
or he's not letting them marry.
And the idea here is that if she is one
who is one of these people that just doesn't mind
being single, just wants to serve God,
not really interested in getting married,
then he's not gonna foist the marriage on her.
If it's comely for her to just be single and serve God,
she's happy being single, she can just live at home,
do the missions, do the soul wedding, serve God, whatever.
But if it's uncomely, if he's behaving himself uncomely
by withholding her from that relationship,
if need so require, he should give her in marriage.
Now, let me just home in on verse 37 too,
because I know I'm taking a long time and going deep on this,
but this is often misunderstood passage.
So I really wanna make sure that we do a little deep dive
on this and understand it.
It says in verse 37,
nevertheless, this is talking about the dad.
Again, all this is about the dad
because he's either giving her in marriage
or he's not giving her in marriage.
It says, nevertheless, he that standeth
steadfastness heart having no necessity,
meaning that there's no compelling reason
for her to get married.
She's not dying to get married.
There's not a financial need for her to get married,
whatever, and then it says,
but hath power over his own will, okay?
And what does that mean that he has power over his own will?
It means he's not a slave, because in the same chapter,
again, you gotta get these things in context
and people will get this mixed up,
like power over his own will has something to do
with controlling his, no, this is dad.
Power over his own will means that he has autonomy
because he's not a slave.
Earlier in the chapter, he talks about being free
versus being a servant and how servants should use
their freedom and he talks about those aspects.
But what it's saying here is that he has power
over his own will, meaning that he's not a slave.
And number two, it also means he hasn't already promised her
to someone else because then he doesn't have power
over his own will to just, oh yeah,
I'm gonna give her this guy or whatever.
And once you've made a commitment,
then he might have to honor a commitment that he made
or he might just be a slave or a bond servant
and doesn't have the authority to even make these decisions
because he is not a free man.
So if he has power over his own will
and is so decreed in his art that he will keep his virgin,
do it well, so then he, they give it through in marriage,
do it well, and he, they give it through,
not in marriage, do it better.
The wife, verse 39, is bound by the law
as long as her husband liveth, but if her husband be dead,
she's at liberty to be married to whom she will,
only in the Lord.
So again, you know, yeah, let her marry who she wants,
you know, only in the Lord,
but the dad still has a veto power.
And then it says in verse 40,
but she's happier if she's so abide,
meaning she's happier if she just stays single
according to Paul, cause that's the kind of guy Paul is
after my judgment, and I think also
that I have the spirit of God.
So we've just seen a whole lot of evidence,
27 scriptures, including first,
and I'm only counting first Corinthians seven as one,
even though it's a big long dissertation on this, okay?
27 scriptures that spell this out,
marrying or giving in marriage, okay?
So I actually just, I went on AI and I asked Grok,
this is what I asked Grok, I said,
why do modern Christians seem to think
a father has no veto power over whom his daughter marries
when there is such a mountain of evidence
from scripture to the contrary?
So that's all I asked it.
So I basically, I just entered the 27 scriptures
with no comment, and then I just said,
why do modern Christians seem to think
that a father has no veto power
over whom his daughter marries
when there is such a mountain of evidence
from the scripture to the contrary?
So here's what Grok answered me.
Modern Christians often treat a father's veto
as optional advice rather than authority
because Western culture has decisively shifted
from hierarchical household.
What's hierarchical household means?
Means dad is the boss, wife obeys the husband,
and then kids obey mom and dad.
So there's a hierarchy, dad, then mom, then the kids.
It's decisively shifted from hierarchical household order
toward individual autonomy,
and many churches have accommodated that shift
in their reading of scripture.
Historical baseline, for most of church history,
patristic, medieval, reformation,
and early modern Protestantism,
parental, especially paternal consent
was treated as normative or even necessary
for a valid marriage.
Sources ranging from early canons
to the Westminster Directory for Public Worship,
classic reform writers, William Gowdge,
Peter Martyr, Vermigley, I don't know who that is.
You know, I don't care who that is,
but they treated the father's role
in giving a daughter as part of the Fifth Commandment,
you know, and natural household order.
The mountain of evidence you cite,
Exodus 22, Numbers 30, Deuteronomy 7,
1 Corinthians 7, et cetera,
the repeated give your daughter language,
Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob's patterns, et cetera,
was read as prescriptive
and not merely culturally descriptive.
Okay, next section, why the change?
Several overlapping developments
explain the modern default.
Number one, enlightenment, individualism, and romanticism.
Marriage shifted from a household alliance
under parental and communal oversight
to a private romantic contract
between two autonomous adults.
Love became the primary legitimizing factor,
and they're the ones putting love in quotes.
I'm just doing this to indicate
what the machine has said.
Love became the primary legitimizing factor.
Once that cultural assumption took hold,
biblical texts that presuppose patriarchal
household authority were reread
as culturally bound or secondary.
So notice, biblical texts presuppose patriarchal
household authority, meaning that the Bible
just assumes, well, duh, obviously,
the dad is in authority here.
Like that's why the Bible doesn't have to keep saying it
over and over, because it's just like a given.
It's just assumed in every part of the Bible
that we read.
So that's number one, because remember,
this section is called why the change?
You know, why is it that all of a sudden,
you know, Christians have changed on this?
Okay, reason number one was enlightenment,
individualism, and romanticism.
Number two, legal and economic transformation.
In most Western countries, the age of majority,
property law, and women's legal independence
removed the practical mechanisms
that once made a father's refusal effective,
meaning that it used to be dad says no,
it actually meant something.
Now if dad says no, no one is going to back him up.
Society's not going to back him up,
the law's not going to back him up,
nobody's going to back him up.
So now dad's veto is just meaningless.
Dad says no and just like, sorry dad,
I'm just doing it anyway.
Just becomes totally meaningless,
because now it says adult daughters
are no longer economic dependence,
living under their father's roof in the same way.
And I love this statement.
Authority that cannot be enforced
tends to be reclassified as advice.
If you can't enforce authority, you don't have authority.
It's that simple, you know.
I mean, think about what if there was a speed limit,
but you just knew you're never going to get pulled over,
no cops on the road, no enforcement, no ticket, no fine.
The speed limit would be meaningless at that point,
wouldn't it?
It's awfully quiet in here, but y'all have been speeding.
Number three, theological reprioritization
inside evangelism.
There's a heavy emphasis on leave and cleave.
Here's the problem with that.
A man shall leave his father and mother
and cleave unto his wife and they too shall be one of us.
Where does it say a woman leaves her father and mother
and goes out and finds a husband on her own
without input from dad?
I don't see it in the Bible.
I got 27 instances of the opposite.
And then it says, first Corinthians seven
is frequently interpreted as addressing
a father's decision about whether his daughter
should marry at all, not about vetoing a particular suitor.
Passages about unequal yoking are retained,
but they're more just directed at the individual,
not the parents.
But what did God direct it?
He didn't tell the individual women,
hey, don't marry these Hittite guys,
don't marry these Canaanite guys.
He said, no, no, don't give your daughter to these guys.
That's who he was talking to.
And the household codes Ephesians five and six,
Colossians three are often soft pedaled or spiritualized
so that children obey your parents is limited to minors
still living in the home.
And so the idea here is that basically like
when you turn 18, there's just this magical switch
that is flipped and all of a sudden parents
have no authority over their children
as soon as they turn 18.
Well, you know, as far as I'm concerned,
anyone living in my house is under my authority.
I don't care if she's 75 years old.
And I'm 95.
Okay.
And then fourth, it says egalitarian
and feminist currents within the church.
And you know, people act like the new IFB
is just always throwing around the word feminism
and labeling everything.
But this is just, I just asked Grock,
hey, why have Christians changed their opinion on this?
And Grock is like, well, it's feminism.
Like, is Elon Musk a new independent fundamental Baptist?
Is Grock an independent fundamental?
Look, if anything, all of these AI bots,
whether it's chat GPT or Grock or any of them,
they're all left leaning.
They tend to be liberal.
They tend to be not very conservative,
not super fundamental.
They're certainly not coming from a new IFB
type of a mentality.
And yet they're just acknowledging just the plain fact
that this is a feminist idea.
And here's the thing, to most people in this world,
feminism's a good thing.
I mean, if we were to walk down the street
in St. Louis or Kansas City or whatever
and just ask them, hey, feminism, good or bad?
Most people are gonna say it's good
because that's what they're taught.
That's what their brain wants.
But to us that are fundamental Baptists,
we hear feminism as like a dirty word to us.
It better be a man.
And then number five, it says selective emphasis
and cultural accommodation is the reason why.
That's what we want as fundamental Baptists, right?
Just culturally accommodate the Bible,
make it up to date with the times
and just kind of reread scripture to fit
all of the feminist currents of 2026 America.
So here's the final paragraph of Grock here on this.
A substantial body of biblical material
does portray fathers exercising decisive authority
over their daughter's marriages.
And for centuries, the church treated that as normative.
The modern default that this authority evaporates
at adulthood is largely the product
of post-enlightenment cultural assumptions
that have been baptized rather than rigorously tested
against the full range of the texts.
Whether that shift is a legitimate development
or a departure is the point
on which contemporary Christians divide.
So it's saying, some Christians are gonna look at this
and say, hey, we finally got this right.
You know, we finally have freed the woman in chains
and now she can marry whoever she wants.
And then other people are saying, well, no,
this is a apostasy from the word of God.
It's a departure from what the Bible's teaching.
And at the end of the day,
let's just kind of come full circle here as we wrap up, okay?
We started out with part one saying
a son should marry a woman that his parents approve of,
you know?
Why?
Because parents have wisdom,
parents have the son's best interests at heart.
If we're smart, we'll listen to people
that are telling us red flags.
And here's the thing, you know,
I remember as a teenager, you know,
I dated a whole bunch of girls as a teenager.
And you know, my parents,
I don't remember my parents ever having a problem
with any of the girls that I dated.
I don't remember them ever just, you know,
coming in and saying, hey, this girl is bad news
or whatever, you know, because I was actually,
you know, parenting myself in that regard.
And you know, I've heard somebody say
this character is self-parenting.
Amen, that's right, it's good.
You know, character is when you parent yourself.
That's right.
Now look, your parents have authority over you,
but you know, as you get older, young people,
as you get into your teenage years,
you should start parenting yourself
to where your parents don't have to sit there
and tell you every little thing,
but that you're actually being your own watchdog
of these things.
Anyway, so here's the thing, like,
I never knowingly dated a girl that wasn't saved.
Now looking back, I found out later
from talking to them that some of them were unsaved.
I wasn't as good at determining that
because I was not a soul winner.
Going soul winning, you'll know what questions to ask
and how to talk to people.
But you know, when I was a teenager,
I hadn't had experience with soul winning
and so I'm just kind of thinking,
oh, you know, you're an evangelical Christian, saved.
Baptist church, saved.
Piscopalian, I don't even know what that really means,
but sounds saved, you know?
I knew Catholics weren't saved and Pentecostals weren't
saved, but it's just like other stuff I'm just like,
great, let's go.
You know, looking back, I accidentally dated
a couple of girls that weren't saved,
but you know what, I was trying to find a Christian wife
and so my parents never had a problem
with any of the girls that I was dating, okay?
And here's the thing, you know, me and my personal
experience, you know, most of the people
that my children have wanted to date,
I never had an issue with, you know,
there has been one major exception to that.
And the point is that here's the thing,
it's not about parents just wanting the perfect unicorn mate
for their child, it's more like just
putting a stop to very bad relationships.
People with serious red flags.
People that are just super rotten, you know,
so it's not about being super controlling
and a control freak obsessed about,
no, here's what it's about.
It's about saying, hey, of all the trees
of the garden they'll may as freely eat,
here's all these Christian guys over here,
here's all these Christian gals over here,
but you know what, just this one person,
this person's off limits.
You know, do I have the right to say that as a parent or not?
And especially if it's my daughter, you know,
that's my daughter, I'm supposed to give her in marriage,
you know, and we're living in a day,
and sorry to get a little personal on this,
but you know, we're living in a day
when your weirdo idiot brother, right,
can just basically just take over your daughter.
Or your weirdo Fresno pastor can just be like,
I'm taking control of your daughter.
And he'll just take the control.
I mean, what kind of a man of God,
what kind of an independent fundamental Baptist pastor
in Fresno, California, as Dave starts with P and ends
in Ozarnski, it's just gonna come in and say,
well, I'm taking control of your daughter,
and he's done this twice where he sought
to marry the daughter to a man
that her parents didn't approve of.
Boy bro, should've listened to this sermon.
He should've read these verses.
Not once, but twice he did that.
Twice, that's super weird when you're said,
well, I'm just taking control of your daughter
because you're an inept parent,
so I'm just taking control.
And I know you guys, mom and dad have both said,
you don't want your daughter marrying this guy
or you want them to wait or you want, whatever.
And she's like, no, no, I'm taking control
because I'm the pastor.
And I'm gonna go put her on a sofa
of this other guy at church's house,
and then I'm gonna put her in a hotel,
then I'm gonna traffic her to another state
and marry her to a guy against your will, right?
And then you wonder why
Verity Baptist Church Fresno failed.
That's why, that kind of stuff.
People don't like that.
People don't like it when you take their daughter away
against their will.
Whether she's 17 or 18, they don't like it.
You know, and the whole strife
that happened with my brother started
because he allowed my daughter,
while she was visiting him,
she was visiting him, you know,
just a good faith visit.
Like, yeah, yeah, go visit Uncle Clint
out in South Carolina.
And he allowed her to date a guy
that literally had hair below his shoulders,
long curly hair below his shoulders.
He's wearing an eyeliner.
He just looked like an absolute freak.
Like, in what universe would Pastor Anderson
allow his daughter to be dating
this long-haired, effeminate freak, right?
But it's just like, well, you know what?
I guess it just doesn't matter what I want
because I don't matter.
I'm just the parent.
I'm just dad.
What does the Bible say, folks?
Yeah, man.
You know, so yeah, this is personal to me.
And obviously it's personal to a lot of people
and a lot of people do get upset about these things
and they do get emotional about these things.
But we're living in a messed up society
where parental rights just don't matter.
A father's rights and father's prerogatives
just don't matter.
A mother's rights and a mother's prerogatives
just don't even matter.
That's the day we're living.
That's why this sermon's needed.
Now you may like, maybe some of you like the sermon tonight.
Maybe some of you don't like the sermon tonight.
I don't care.
Because you know what?
This is a sermon that needs to be preached.
You know, and if you don't like it, then shove it.
I don't care, but this is right when I'm showing you.
And I think that if you're honest with the text
and honest with yourself,
you'll see that what I'm preaching tonight is right.
Say, well, what does this have to do
with the first year anniversary?
Nothing, and I don't care.
Because you know what?
A church is supposed to preach the whole counsel of God.
And so I'll show up as a guest preacher
and preach anything in the Bible.
The Bible is the Bible.
So here's the thing.
When it comes to signs, be smart.
You know, favors deceitful, beauties vain.
A woman that feared the Lord, she shall be praised.
Listen to that advice from Mama in Proverbs 31.
Listen to that Proverbs 31 advice from Mom.
Listen to your dad's advice.
Be smart.
Yeah, you're gonna go out there
and you're gonna be the one doing the marrying.
You're gonna go out there and you're gonna marry someone.
But listen to your parents' advice.
You know, and you should listen to their advice
about other things too.
Just be smart, just live your life.
Don't reinvent the wheel, right?
Listen to stuff your parents tell you.
They've got good advice,
especially if they're godly Christians.
But then secondly, we said part two
is that a woman, a daughter must marry
a man that her father approves.
Don't just take away man's authority.
Don't just strip them of their authority
so that I guess in my home,
I'm just supposed to be like the queen of England
or something, right?
I guess now I can say the king of England.
Like where I don't really have any real power.
I'm just like a figurehead
and I guess I can just parade around.
Yeah, I'm dad, ha ha.
I'm kind of sort of supposedly the boss, ha ha.
But you know, can't really enforce anything.
Well, not in my house.
Sorry, that's not the way it's gonna work.
And you know, what we need is a culture
that backs up mom and dad.
And here's the thing.
I don't think we're gonna fix America with that regard.
I think America is kind of toast at this point.
But you know what?
Can we at least have a subculture
of independent fundamental Baptist
that follow the Bible on this
and are not changing with the times on this subject.
Let's bards and have order of prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for your word.
And we thank you so much for this great group of people
that are gathered here, Lord.
I pray that you would just bless every part of this weekend.
And I pray that you would just bless the soul winning.
Lord, just lead the soul winners to the doors
where people are ready to hear the gospel
and receptive and ready to hear Lord.
And I pray that a great number of people would be saved
as was all of the work that's done.
And I pray that the goal of 200 salvations
for the first year of straight paths,
Baptist and St. Louis would be hit, Lord, this weekend.
I pray that it would be hit with a few days to spare
and that this weekend would just be a great success.
I pray that you would just reach down
and heal Brother Oz so that he could preach
a powerful sermon tomorrow night.
Please just fill all the preachers of the weekend
past a wrestle and Lord just help us all to rally
around your word, rally around soul winning
and bless the fellowship.
And in Jesus' name we pray, amen.
Amen.