WEBVTT 00:00.240 --> 00:09.280 Alright, we're in Genesis chapter 31 this evening and we're continuing with all of the conflict that Jacob is experiencing with his in-laws here. 00:09.640 --> 00:15.680 And if you remember back in chapter 30, we have Jacob and his wives bearing children. 00:15.860 --> 00:24.980 And it's essentially the chapter where with we find all of the children that will make up the 12 tribes, excluding of course Benjamin. 00:25.440 --> 00:28.700 And then we have him acting deceitfully towards the letter N. 00:28.700 --> 00:31.440 But through it all we see that God is still with Jacob. 00:31.860 --> 00:37.920 Not because he approves of what Jacob is doing, not that he approves of his deception, his cunning behavior, 00:38.340 --> 00:41.240 but because obviously God has to work with sinners. 00:41.520 --> 00:46.600 And so Jacob through this process of being with Laban is going to learn a lot of valuable lessons. 00:46.760 --> 00:50.240 He's basically getting a taste of his own medicine with Laban. 00:50.240 --> 01:01.500 And here in chapter 31 is the pivotal point where Jacob finally decides to leave this land, to leave his uncle's region and go back home. 01:01.640 --> 01:02.240 And why is that? 01:02.340 --> 01:03.200 Well look at verse 1 it says, 01:13.700 --> 01:20.860 And Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban and behold it was not toward him as before. 01:21.080 --> 01:24.240 So a couple things I want to mention regarding just these first couple verses here. 01:24.740 --> 01:28.780 And that is that when we go into this particular story we're already 20 years in. 01:28.780 --> 01:36.160 So from the time that Jacob arrived to Laban and he's trying to marry his daughters and so forth, 01:36.480 --> 01:40.900 you have 20 years that have already passed and it's about time for him to get going. 01:41.380 --> 01:48.400 But one of the things that really motivates him to leave is the fact that he hears his brother-in-law gossiping about him. 01:48.920 --> 01:54.440 It specifically says that he hears the words of Laban's sons and they're criticizing him. 01:54.440 --> 01:59.240 They are speaking evil of him and as we see here they're obviously envying him. 01:59.940 --> 02:06.380 They, you know, Jacob hasn't necessarily done anything wrong per se in the sense of, you know, God has blessed him. 02:06.680 --> 02:08.060 He's given him that increase. 02:08.440 --> 02:10.700 He has blessed his resources of course. 02:11.040 --> 02:13.360 But, you know, Laban's sons are not happy with that. 02:13.440 --> 02:14.160 They're envious of him. 02:14.560 --> 02:20.400 Now the first thing I want to mention here is that we've got to be careful about the gossip we listen to about us. 02:20.400 --> 02:21.080 Okay? 02:21.820 --> 02:27.220 You know, I'm sure if we're like these TikTok investigators that are out right now, 02:27.920 --> 02:33.400 we can find all types of people that are talking trash about us, right? 02:33.800 --> 02:39.200 We can find all types of people that are trashing us and that are speaking evil of us. 02:39.400 --> 02:40.780 Maybe it's our family members. 02:41.140 --> 02:42.380 Maybe it's friends. 02:43.000 --> 02:49.560 You know, we can literally dig into all of the slander and nonsense that people are saying about us. 02:49.560 --> 02:52.140 You know, it can completely ruin our day for sure, right? 02:52.720 --> 03:01.080 And so, you know, there's a biblical principle in the Bible that essentially states that we shouldn't necessarily try to find every single evil thing that's stated about us 03:01.080 --> 03:04.440 because at the end of the day, I don't know about you, but it can get me in the flesh, right? 03:04.920 --> 03:07.580 And it can get us to have a wrong view of people. 03:08.100 --> 03:09.920 Of course, sometimes things are taken out of context. 03:10.260 --> 03:16.460 But, you know, it makes me think of Ecclesiastes chapter 7 and verse 21 that says this, 03:17.040 --> 03:19.940 Also take no heed unto all the words that are spoken, 03:20.600 --> 03:22.860 Lest thou hear thy serving curse thee. 03:23.780 --> 03:25.940 You know, he's like, don't listen to everything that's out there 03:25.940 --> 03:28.500 because eventually you're going to run into someone who you like 03:28.500 --> 03:30.920 and end up saying something negative about you. 03:31.040 --> 03:33.120 Not all the time, but you know, it can happen, right? 03:33.840 --> 03:35.020 Someone's going to curse you. 03:35.340 --> 03:37.480 Someone you're close to is going to say something bad about you. 03:37.860 --> 03:40.180 And then you're like, yeah, but I can't believe they said that, though. 03:40.800 --> 03:42.000 Why would they say such a thing? 03:42.080 --> 03:42.880 Well, hold on a second. 03:42.960 --> 03:43.740 Verse 22 says this, 03:43.740 --> 03:45.760 For oftentimes also, 03:46.100 --> 03:50.560 Thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise has cursed others. 03:51.140 --> 03:51.160 Okay? 03:51.600 --> 03:56.100 So before you jump on that person and criticize them for criticizing you, 03:56.420 --> 03:58.600 just know that you've probably done the same as well, right? 03:59.080 --> 04:01.740 So the point being here is that we've all been guilty 04:01.740 --> 04:05.120 of maybe talking trash behind someone's back, right? 04:05.640 --> 04:10.180 And we see the principle here that Jacob somehow heard the words of Laban 04:10.180 --> 04:12.860 and I don't think that this is the first time 04:12.860 --> 04:16.880 Laban's sons have been saying evil things about Jacob. 04:17.020 --> 04:19.440 I'm sure this has happened throughout the time that he's been there 04:19.440 --> 04:22.240 since the resources have increased and so forth. 04:22.780 --> 04:25.440 And so, you know, it's just for whatever reason, 04:25.840 --> 04:28.460 his ear was in the right place at the right time 04:28.460 --> 04:32.820 and he heard these evil things that he's saying about Jacob. 04:33.160 --> 04:33.300 Okay? 04:33.900 --> 04:37.020 Now, obviously there's going to come times where you can't avoid 04:37.020 --> 04:39.400 when people are speaking evil of you, right? 04:39.400 --> 04:42.120 And people should not be slandering others, 04:42.620 --> 04:44.260 speaking ill of others, 04:44.540 --> 04:47.220 bringing up a false report about others, 04:47.560 --> 04:49.320 talking trash about others. 04:49.620 --> 04:51.240 That's obviously an evil thing to do 04:51.240 --> 04:53.140 and it's obviously not a Christian virtue. 04:53.480 --> 04:55.080 Now, what's the result of this? 04:55.220 --> 04:56.720 Well, it says in verse 2, 04:57.060 --> 04:59.100 Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban 04:59.100 --> 05:03.260 and behold, it was not toward him as before. 05:04.400 --> 05:05.340 So what happened here? 05:05.460 --> 05:08.740 Well, obviously because Laban's sons are talking in his ear, 05:08.740 --> 05:12.040 saying, oh, man, this guy's taking all your resources. 05:12.620 --> 05:14.340 He's got better things than us. 05:14.580 --> 05:15.760 Look at all his glory. 05:16.280 --> 05:19.840 It's making Laban's mind evil affected against Jacob. 05:20.220 --> 05:21.600 Because keep in mind in the chapter before, 05:21.980 --> 05:24.500 he's like, I know God's blessed me because of you. 05:25.180 --> 05:29.200 I know the Lord has blessed my resources because you're here 05:29.200 --> 05:30.900 and that's 100% true, right? 05:31.700 --> 05:33.520 So, you know, it sounds like Laban, 05:33.600 --> 05:35.620 prior to this conversation with the sons, 05:36.040 --> 05:38.240 he was happy to have Jacob with him. 05:38.240 --> 05:41.200 He was happy with having his presence there, 05:41.480 --> 05:43.720 working for him, you know, 05:43.820 --> 05:45.440 taking advantage of him to a certain degree 05:45.440 --> 05:47.220 because he knew that God was with him. 05:47.500 --> 05:50.000 It wasn't until his sons came, started slandering 05:50.000 --> 05:52.880 and putting these evil thoughts into the mind of Laban 05:52.880 --> 05:54.920 that now Laban's like, oh, yeah, you know, 05:55.360 --> 05:56.540 maybe, yeah, you're right. 05:56.860 --> 05:58.100 Jacob has kind of, you know, 05:58.380 --> 06:01.340 become glorious at my expense 06:01.340 --> 06:03.980 and his resources have increased 06:03.980 --> 06:07.140 and obviously, Jacob notices this. 06:07.140 --> 06:12.060 It says his countenance was not as it was toward him as before. 06:12.300 --> 06:13.420 Now, what does the countenance mean? 06:13.500 --> 06:15.520 It means his facial expressions, right? 06:16.260 --> 06:19.260 So, you know, in the morning, Laban would see him and say, 06:19.300 --> 06:19.900 hey, how's it going? 06:20.140 --> 06:20.880 You know, everything all right? 06:21.040 --> 06:22.780 You're making me some money, you know? 06:23.080 --> 06:24.020 Is everything all right? 06:24.120 --> 06:24.900 But then after a while, 06:25.040 --> 06:27.640 he's just kind of like narrow-eyedly looking at him, 06:28.040 --> 06:29.340 kind of suspicious of him. 06:29.740 --> 06:32.260 Now, he's just like, I wonder what this guy's cooking up now. 06:32.880 --> 06:35.660 And obviously, we can take all of Jacob's character 06:35.660 --> 06:37.760 and say, well, actually, you have a valid point there. 06:37.920 --> 06:39.780 You, to be a little suspicious of Jacob 06:39.780 --> 06:41.240 because he is a little cunning. 06:42.380 --> 06:43.620 But here's the thing, though, 06:43.740 --> 06:48.100 is that he's essentially believing all of the evil report 06:49.000 --> 06:51.500 that his sons are bringing to him about him, okay? 06:51.960 --> 06:52.560 And this is wicked. 06:53.120 --> 06:54.200 And what's the principle that we can learn here? 06:54.340 --> 06:55.400 You know, we need to make sure, 06:56.200 --> 06:58.420 let's talk about family first and foremost, right? 06:59.120 --> 07:02.960 That we don't just listen to the evil reports of our family 07:02.960 --> 07:06.360 about our loved ones or about anybody else, okay? 07:07.080 --> 07:08.240 You know, we need to make sure 07:08.240 --> 07:11.620 that when someone brings up an evil report about our wife, 07:12.320 --> 07:15.820 about our husband, about, you know, our children, 07:16.540 --> 07:18.480 about mom, about dad, 07:18.740 --> 07:21.640 that we stop them right in their tracks, right? 07:22.420 --> 07:24.220 And say, I don't want to hear this. 07:24.540 --> 07:25.640 This is slander. 07:26.200 --> 07:26.960 This is gossiping. 07:27.660 --> 07:29.820 You're being a tattletale and a busy body. 07:30.100 --> 07:32.240 And even if what you're saying is true, 07:32.240 --> 07:33.900 go talk to that person about it. 07:34.160 --> 07:35.120 Leave me alone. 07:36.160 --> 07:37.160 Because what's the point? 07:37.360 --> 07:39.960 The point is that they're going to make your mind evil-affected 07:40.500 --> 07:43.380 against your spouse, against your husband, against your wife, 07:43.480 --> 07:45.400 against your children, against your parents. 07:46.220 --> 07:46.820 And so, you know, 07:46.960 --> 07:48.520 Laban should have been like, hey, boys, 07:48.860 --> 07:51.500 why don't you shut up and get back to work, okay? 07:51.760 --> 07:53.820 When you can produce the amount of resources 07:54.340 --> 07:57.460 that Jacob is producing and put in the work here 07:57.460 --> 07:59.840 and stop acting like a bunch of, you know, 07:59.840 --> 08:02.280 envious little brother-in-laws, you know, 08:02.380 --> 08:04.180 then I'll listen to you once you're producing more. 08:04.280 --> 08:06.540 But, you know, it sounds like you're just a little jealous, 08:06.700 --> 08:08.600 a little envious of Jacob. 08:08.920 --> 08:10.880 But, of course, Laban didn't do that, right? 08:11.560 --> 08:13.380 And, you know, you need to make sure you don't listen 08:13.940 --> 08:16.640 to the bad report that people bring about your spouse. 08:17.460 --> 08:18.720 Especially your spouse, right? 08:19.480 --> 08:20.900 Oh, when you have a mother-in-law, 08:21.040 --> 08:23.220 a father-in-law, some sort of family member 08:23.220 --> 08:24.940 that's coming to you and saying, hey, you know, 08:25.480 --> 08:26.600 you know I love you, right? 08:27.840 --> 08:30.000 You know, I really, I love you. 08:30.000 --> 08:31.180 You guys mean the world to me. 08:32.180 --> 08:34.080 And I'm only telling you this because I love you. 08:34.680 --> 08:36.020 Just know, at that point, 08:36.220 --> 08:37.880 some evil's gonna come out of their mouth, right? 08:38.820 --> 08:41.400 And just be like, I'm not trying to criticize you 08:41.400 --> 08:42.200 or anything like that. 08:42.820 --> 08:45.000 I like what you guys got going on right here. 08:45.480 --> 08:47.380 It's great that you guys are going to church. 08:48.240 --> 08:49.700 Oh, it's great that you guys are doing this. 08:49.880 --> 08:52.620 But, you know, your husband, 08:53.400 --> 08:55.460 your wife, they go a little overboard, you know? 08:55.460 --> 08:57.520 And they start throwing these insults, 08:57.760 --> 09:00.300 these slanderous statements about your spouse. 09:00.760 --> 09:01.800 You need to stop them running the tracks, 09:01.900 --> 09:03.280 regardless of who it's coming from. 09:03.920 --> 09:05.880 I'm talking about if your mama's coming to you 09:05.880 --> 09:08.380 and saying these things, you need to rebuke that. 09:09.600 --> 09:11.140 Because our number one loyalty, 09:11.440 --> 09:12.500 this side of eternity is to our spouse. 09:13.940 --> 09:16.760 Don't let anybody criticize your spouse, okay? 09:17.240 --> 09:19.380 Don't let anybody talk down on your spouse, 09:19.780 --> 09:21.000 criticize your spouse, 09:21.400 --> 09:22.720 talk trash about your spouse. 09:22.720 --> 09:26.580 You defend your spouse, you know, to the highest degree. 09:27.100 --> 09:28.640 And don't listen to the slander. 09:28.840 --> 09:29.940 Don't listen to the criticisms. 09:30.620 --> 09:31.920 Don't listen to, well, you know, 09:32.080 --> 09:34.540 I just want to say this one thing about, you know, 09:34.680 --> 09:35.560 the way you're doing things, 09:35.660 --> 09:37.020 the way your spouse does these things, 09:37.080 --> 09:38.000 the way your wife is doing it, 09:38.020 --> 09:38.980 the way your husband is doing it. 09:39.200 --> 09:40.160 Just say this, you know, 09:40.440 --> 09:42.920 I'm not interested in listening to this, okay? 09:43.340 --> 09:44.640 And I don't want to hear this 09:44.640 --> 09:46.240 because at the end of the day, folks, 09:46.700 --> 09:47.560 let's just, you know, 09:47.980 --> 09:50.120 let's just use some examples here, okay? 09:51.540 --> 09:53.920 Some artificial examples, okay? 09:54.420 --> 09:56.800 You know, if a parent 09:56.800 --> 09:59.100 or an in-law, a mother-in-law, 09:59.220 --> 10:00.680 a father-in-law is criticizing 10:01.240 --> 10:03.220 the husband to the wife, 10:03.440 --> 10:05.060 you know, it's likely that the wife can be, 10:05.180 --> 10:06.680 can just give an ear to that 10:07.080 --> 10:09.760 and be susceptible to the criticisms 10:09.760 --> 10:12.300 that her parents are giving to her 10:12.300 --> 10:13.960 because wives are just kind of like that. 10:13.960 --> 10:16.100 They're just, they're emotional beings. 10:16.800 --> 10:18.540 They sometimes can just believe everything 10:18.540 --> 10:20.980 as noted what's going on this week, right? 10:21.140 --> 10:22.740 They just believe everything. 10:23.520 --> 10:24.560 You know, you put a certain, 10:25.260 --> 10:27.260 you put the X-Files music behind a video, 10:27.360 --> 10:28.060 they'll just believe it. 10:29.100 --> 10:30.940 Oh, it must be true, right? 10:31.900 --> 10:32.900 And so, ladies, 10:33.140 --> 10:35.160 you need to make sure that you recognize 10:35.160 --> 10:37.140 your susceptibility, 10:37.260 --> 10:38.320 not just to deception, 10:38.640 --> 10:40.320 but also to criticisms as well. 10:41.200 --> 10:42.860 And in light of knowing 10:42.860 --> 10:44.360 that you're susceptible to these things 10:44.360 --> 10:45.560 because you're just emotional, 10:46.100 --> 10:46.880 you just gotta be like, you know what, 10:46.880 --> 10:48.860 I'm not gonna listen to that, don't tell me that. 10:49.240 --> 10:51.400 And if they just wanna keep pushing the issue, 10:51.500 --> 10:53.520 keep pushing the issue, this is what you do. 10:53.780 --> 10:56.240 You say, if you want to continue to fellowship 10:56.240 --> 10:58.100 with me, my husband, or my kids, 10:58.440 --> 11:00.500 I suggest you stop right now. 11:01.420 --> 11:02.240 Because if not, 11:02.400 --> 11:03.900 I've been commanded of my husband 11:03.900 --> 11:06.000 to separate, to part ways from you 11:06.000 --> 11:07.320 because I'm not gonna allow anybody 11:07.320 --> 11:10.080 to just criticize my husband, okay? 11:10.080 --> 11:11.860 Talk trash about my husband 11:11.860 --> 11:14.100 and criticize his leadership, 11:14.300 --> 11:16.320 criticize the way he does things. 11:16.860 --> 11:18.460 You know, you're supposed to be promoting me 11:18.460 --> 11:20.440 to, you know, and encouraging me 11:20.440 --> 11:22.820 to submit to my husband, to love my husband, 11:23.120 --> 11:24.880 not to think evil of him. 11:25.520 --> 11:27.140 Well, I'm just trying to, you know, 11:28.220 --> 11:29.680 I'm just, I'm glad you, yeah, 11:29.880 --> 11:30.760 yeah, I'm glad you're trying to, 11:30.760 --> 11:31.700 I'm just saying, you know, 11:32.040 --> 11:33.520 he needs to zip it. 11:33.600 --> 11:34.600 I don't wanna hear it. 11:35.800 --> 11:38.040 Don't accept criticisms about your spouse, 11:38.040 --> 11:40.340 okay, and you know, 11:40.880 --> 11:41.740 and vice versa. 11:42.560 --> 11:44.440 You know, if your mother-in-law, 11:44.620 --> 11:45.860 your father-in-law comes to you 11:45.860 --> 11:47.060 talking trash about your wife, 11:47.420 --> 11:49.000 stop them dead in their tracks 11:49.720 --> 11:52.900 and say, this conversation's over 11:52.900 --> 11:55.040 and I never want to hear you 11:55.040 --> 11:56.540 say anything bad about my wife 11:56.540 --> 11:57.080 ever again. 11:57.960 --> 12:00.160 And if you do, then you're not 12:00.160 --> 12:01.480 seeing the grandkids anymore. 12:02.120 --> 12:04.220 Use that card, that typically gets them. 12:05.020 --> 12:06.320 Okay, you'll never see them 12:06.320 --> 12:07.720 ever again. 12:08.340 --> 12:10.160 And folks, we wanna communicate loyalty 12:10.820 --> 12:12.500 to our spouse, right? 12:13.120 --> 12:14.280 And recognize they are, 12:14.500 --> 12:15.640 and look, you know, obviously, 12:15.900 --> 12:18.180 if you're the type to just give into these criticisms, 12:18.560 --> 12:20.540 your mind is gonna be evil affected against them. 12:21.180 --> 12:22.500 And then, you're gonna be 12:22.500 --> 12:23.520 critical of your spouse, 12:23.940 --> 12:26.680 you're gonna start criticizing them in your hearts, 12:26.960 --> 12:28.480 being critical of their leadership, 12:28.860 --> 12:30.180 critical of their decisions, 12:30.520 --> 12:31.720 critical of their actions, 12:32.060 --> 12:33.420 every word that comes out of their mouth, 12:33.420 --> 12:35.520 you're just being cynical about 12:35.520 --> 12:37.900 and it's not right, okay? 12:38.140 --> 12:39.340 Then your countenance 12:39.340 --> 12:41.700 will not be towards them as it was before. 12:42.200 --> 12:43.720 Why? Because you allow someone 12:43.720 --> 12:45.660 to criticize your family member, 12:45.900 --> 12:46.760 your wife, your spouse. 12:47.080 --> 12:48.620 It's not right to do, okay? 12:49.200 --> 12:52.000 And so, look, if you are the type of person 12:52.000 --> 12:53.620 who you're just susceptible 12:53.620 --> 12:55.560 to gossip, here's the remedy. 12:56.100 --> 12:57.720 Just stop them dead in their tracks. 12:58.940 --> 12:59.460 Identify 12:59.460 --> 13:01.420 that they're talking trash 13:01.420 --> 13:02.920 about your wife or your husband 13:03.420 --> 13:04.740 and then stop them right then and there, 13:05.620 --> 13:07.680 okay? And don't let it be a habit, 13:08.640 --> 13:09.560 because what they're doing 13:09.560 --> 13:11.140 is they're just trying to like see 13:11.140 --> 13:13.080 what you're willing to take, okay? 13:13.640 --> 13:15.160 Like, yeah, but what about like 13:15.160 --> 13:17.160 honor thy father and mother? 13:17.460 --> 13:19.420 You know, I forgot the conditional part of that verse 13:19.420 --> 13:21.540 that says, you know, especially above 13:21.540 --> 13:22.160 your spouse. 13:23.440 --> 13:25.340 You know, honor thy father and thy mother 13:26.060 --> 13:27.520 especially above your husband, 13:27.600 --> 13:28.620 especially above your spouse, no. 13:28.620 --> 13:29.920 You know, the 13:30.700 --> 13:31.920 unit of marriage, 13:32.440 --> 13:34.680 the husband and wife is a far more 13:34.680 --> 13:36.740 important unit than your relationship 13:36.740 --> 13:37.900 to your mom and your dad. 13:38.480 --> 13:40.720 That's a fact. And look, obviously 13:40.720 --> 13:41.700 these things should be in harmony, 13:41.700 --> 13:44.380 right? Meaning that we should be able to 13:44.380 --> 13:46.080 love our wife as Christ loved the church, 13:46.420 --> 13:48.940 she should submit and obey her husband 13:48.940 --> 13:50.720 and reverence her husband, respect her husband, 13:51.140 --> 13:52.460 you know, and still 13:52.460 --> 13:54.380 be able to honor our father 13:54.380 --> 13:56.440 and mother at the same time. But let me 13:56.440 --> 13:58.400 just say this, because we live in a sinful 13:58.400 --> 14:00.380 world where sometimes things get 14:00.380 --> 14:02.640 mixed up and you're forced to choose, 14:02.900 --> 14:03.600 choose your spouse. 14:05.640 --> 14:06.240 No one in the world 14:06.240 --> 14:07.960 will say, well, I'm just going to honor my mom 14:07.960 --> 14:09.780 and my dad despite the fact that they're 14:09.780 --> 14:11.660 causing me to dishonor my spouse. 14:11.840 --> 14:13.560 It's not right to do, okay? 14:14.240 --> 14:15.500 And so make sure 14:15.500 --> 14:17.440 you obey your husband 14:17.440 --> 14:20.400 above even your mom and dad. 14:20.720 --> 14:21.880 Yes, amen to that. 14:22.900 --> 14:23.160 Okay? 14:23.160 --> 14:25.020 You're like, well, 14:25.320 --> 14:26.220 you know, he's my dad 14:26.220 --> 14:28.800 and he's always been right. Yeah, but you married 14:28.800 --> 14:29.400 me though. 14:30.440 --> 14:32.440 And I've replaced your father. 14:33.620 --> 14:35.400 Every woman who's gotten married 14:35.400 --> 14:36.920 has had their father 14:36.920 --> 14:37.880 replaced by their husband. 14:38.980 --> 14:40.740 That's exactly how it works. 14:41.780 --> 14:43.060 Okay? And I'm not 14:43.060 --> 14:45.020 saying hate your father or anything like that. 14:45.560 --> 14:46.400 You know, obviously 14:46.400 --> 14:47.880 in a perfect world, 14:49.200 --> 14:50.320 your husband 14:50.320 --> 14:52.040 would be great friends 14:52.040 --> 14:53.720 with your father and so forth. 14:53.980 --> 14:55.920 I'm talking about the extreme cases where 14:55.920 --> 14:57.860 you know, the wife might be 14:57.860 --> 14:59.760 tempted to obey 14:59.760 --> 15:01.660 the leadings of her father, 15:01.980 --> 15:03.460 even God forbid, her mother 15:04.160 --> 15:04.940 above her husband. 15:05.560 --> 15:07.600 That's a godless thing to do. 15:07.920 --> 15:09.480 It's not biblical. It's not right. 15:09.960 --> 15:11.920 The point being here is that 15:11.920 --> 15:13.560 you know, laymen and sons 15:13.560 --> 15:15.320 need to shut up and get back to work. 15:16.240 --> 15:17.780 Okay? And stop being so 15:17.780 --> 15:19.580 envious of 15:19.580 --> 15:21.340 you know, what Jacob is producing. 15:21.680 --> 15:23.480 But also, you know, this applies 15:23.480 --> 15:25.780 in marriage. This applies 15:26.560 --> 15:27.820 also in a 15:27.820 --> 15:29.120 church. Okay? 15:29.620 --> 15:31.640 We need to make sure, listen to me, that we don't 15:31.640 --> 15:33.760 make anybody's mind in here 15:33.760 --> 15:35.680 evil affected against someone else 15:35.680 --> 15:37.540 just because we favor one church member 15:37.540 --> 15:38.700 over another. Okay? 15:39.880 --> 15:41.380 Just because you don't agree with certain 15:41.380 --> 15:43.680 decisions of one person or this 15:43.680 --> 15:45.840 relationship or these people 15:45.840 --> 15:47.460 or what this person did 15:47.460 --> 15:49.520 doesn't give you the right to make 15:49.520 --> 15:51.620 people's minds evil affected against that 15:51.620 --> 15:53.060 individual. Stay out of it. 15:54.160 --> 15:54.420 Okay? 15:55.380 --> 15:56.580 You're like, oh yeah, but we gotta 15:56.580 --> 15:58.840 we're really close to this person 15:58.840 --> 16:00.880 and because we're really close to this 16:00.880 --> 16:03.180 member, you know, look, we could be close 16:03.180 --> 16:04.200 to church members for sure. 16:04.780 --> 16:06.760 But that doesn't give you the right 16:07.260 --> 16:09.180 to act wickedly against another 16:09.180 --> 16:09.920 church member though. 16:10.760 --> 16:13.300 Okay? You know, it doesn't give 16:13.300 --> 16:15.280 you the right to favor them 16:15.280 --> 16:17.320 in such a way that other people feel 16:17.320 --> 16:19.240 excluded. They feel like you're criticizing them. 16:19.300 --> 16:21.100 They feel like you are doing 16:21.100 --> 16:23.180 wrong towards them. You know, favoring 16:23.180 --> 16:24.720 someone shouldn't feel like 16:25.200 --> 16:26.560 you're excluding someone else. 16:27.420 --> 16:29.120 Okay? We need to be diplomatic 16:29.120 --> 16:31.160 in church and not be a bunch of high 16:31.160 --> 16:32.440 school girls in our church 16:32.980 --> 16:35.240 trying to click up with other people 16:35.240 --> 16:37.320 against so and so. We're not mean girls 16:37.320 --> 16:38.640 here. Okay? 16:39.540 --> 16:41.460 This isn't the mean girls club 16:41.900 --> 16:43.000 where we're trying to look for 16:43.000 --> 16:45.240 cliques and crews in the church. We're Christians. 16:45.860 --> 16:47.320 We're brothers and sisters in Christ. 16:47.980 --> 16:49.740 And let me just also say this 16:50.540 --> 16:51.620 is that as our church 16:51.620 --> 16:52.640 continues to grow 16:54.080 --> 16:54.880 numerically, spiritually, 16:55.740 --> 16:57.760 you know, we're having a bunch of babies 16:58.420 --> 16:59.480 and, you know, these 17:00.200 --> 17:01.240 toddlers and these 17:01.240 --> 17:03.320 10-year-olds, 13, they start growing up. 17:03.460 --> 17:05.300 They start, you know, they start growing up 17:05.300 --> 17:07.200 and then they're gonna start dating. Okay? 17:07.900 --> 17:09.200 Ugh. You know, I'm just not 17:09.200 --> 17:10.480 looking forward to that. You know? 17:11.120 --> 17:13.480 They're gonna start dating and, you know, 17:13.880 --> 17:15.060 talking about marriage 17:15.060 --> 17:16.540 and all this. That's great, right? 17:17.660 --> 17:19.280 And we think there's those, that's 17:19.280 --> 17:20.260 so beautiful. 17:21.060 --> 17:23.200 You know, these kids are gonna get, start dating. 17:23.500 --> 17:24.820 But just know this, though, there 17:24.820 --> 17:26.480 probably be some heartbreaks, though. 17:27.860 --> 17:29.260 Right? That's just the fact. 17:30.440 --> 17:30.760 You know? 17:31.800 --> 17:33.580 Some of them might break my son's heart. 17:33.960 --> 17:34.100 You know? 17:34.720 --> 17:36.920 Some of them might break one of your daughters heart. I don't know. 17:37.420 --> 17:38.580 That's just a possibility. 17:39.920 --> 17:40.060 Okay? 17:40.580 --> 17:42.540 But it would be wrong for, 17:42.980 --> 17:44.160 you know, let's say for example 17:44.700 --> 17:46.380 one of my son's dates, and 17:46.380 --> 17:49.120 I'm using this as an example because it's not gonna happen for a really long time. 17:49.480 --> 17:50.840 And don't be talking about dating to my 17:50.840 --> 17:52.440 kids, by the way. Okay? 17:52.980 --> 17:54.020 My kids are little kids. 17:54.960 --> 17:56.680 Okay? Don't be trying to pair anybody up 17:56.680 --> 17:58.960 and like, oh man, I think both of these 17:58.960 --> 18:00.500 can really work together or whatever. 18:01.040 --> 18:02.560 They're kids. They play Pokemon, 18:03.300 --> 18:05.160 Legos, and that's what they need to be doing. 18:05.160 --> 18:06.380 Loving the Lord, their parents. 18:06.900 --> 18:08.900 And they're not in the season of dating right now, okay? 18:09.840 --> 18:10.900 Don't talk to, you know, 18:10.920 --> 18:12.720 if you want to do that with your kids, that's your business. 18:12.860 --> 18:14.320 But keep my kids out of that. 18:15.080 --> 18:15.260 Okay? 18:16.420 --> 18:18.940 But again, for the sake of illustrating, 18:19.020 --> 18:20.920 let's use an artificial illustration here. 18:21.540 --> 18:22.720 And let's say one of my son's, 18:22.720 --> 18:24.180 he's in his 20s or whatever, 18:24.620 --> 18:26.640 and he ends up dating, you know, 18:26.760 --> 18:28.260 one of the girls, one of the daughters here. 18:28.640 --> 18:29.700 And it's going great. 18:30.100 --> 18:31.560 And then, you know, they just, 18:31.560 --> 18:32.820 he breaks up with her. 18:34.140 --> 18:35.960 Oh, let's use the different illustration. 18:36.280 --> 18:38.180 Let's say the girl breaks up with my son. 18:39.260 --> 18:40.220 Shatters his heart. 18:41.000 --> 18:42.200 Breaks his little heart. 18:42.940 --> 18:43.040 You know? 18:44.620 --> 18:46.540 You know, it wouldn't be right for me 18:46.540 --> 18:48.240 to just all of a sudden 18:48.240 --> 18:49.700 have my mind evil affected 18:49.700 --> 18:51.140 against that daughter 18:51.140 --> 18:53.040 and that family because of that. 18:54.080 --> 18:55.320 And just be like, huh, 18:56.080 --> 18:56.680 who are these people? 18:56.760 --> 18:58.320 Once I understand I'm the pastor, 18:58.320 --> 19:00.480 this is my kid, they're going to do this. 19:00.640 --> 19:00.800 You know? 19:01.120 --> 19:03.840 And just rally a bunch of people 19:03.840 --> 19:05.700 to sympathize towards my son 19:05.700 --> 19:06.460 or something like that. 19:06.960 --> 19:08.880 You know what I mean? Just because that happened. 19:09.140 --> 19:09.780 Folks, that's life. 19:10.560 --> 19:12.420 I don't want my son to have his heart broken. 19:12.560 --> 19:13.820 I don't want my daughters to get the heart broken. 19:14.140 --> 19:15.760 So I'm going to aid them as much as possible 19:15.760 --> 19:17.080 and help them throughout this process. 19:17.260 --> 19:19.340 But it's just unavoidable sometimes, right? 19:19.960 --> 19:20.780 It may happen. 19:21.780 --> 19:23.320 And you know, if my daughter breaks 19:23.320 --> 19:25.120 your son's heart and vice versa, 19:25.460 --> 19:27.520 don't get mad at me and I won't get mad at you 19:27.520 --> 19:28.980 and don't try to rally people 19:28.980 --> 19:30.860 to your cause to be against this person 19:30.860 --> 19:31.800 just because that happened. 19:32.160 --> 19:33.140 It's not right to do. 19:34.480 --> 19:35.820 This isn't high school. 19:36.620 --> 19:37.400 Grow up. 19:38.540 --> 19:40.860 Well, we have to protect the hearts of the people. 19:41.600 --> 19:43.320 We need to protect their healing. 19:45.020 --> 19:46.180 We need to make sure that they heal. 19:46.480 --> 19:47.040 Forget that. 19:47.500 --> 19:48.280 Forget that. 19:48.880 --> 19:49.900 Let them get over it. 19:51.100 --> 19:51.900 And obviously, 19:52.180 --> 19:53.880 I'm going to be sensitive towards my daughters 19:53.880 --> 19:54.680 if that happens. 19:54.880 --> 19:56.640 But towards my son, I'll be like, 19:56.960 --> 19:57.600 where are you dodging the bullet? 19:58.180 --> 19:59.960 Dodge the bullet. 20:00.840 --> 20:01.740 Get over it. 20:02.340 --> 20:03.880 You've got to get over it. This is life. 20:04.000 --> 20:04.700 This is what happens. 20:06.500 --> 20:07.400 And I'm not going to be like, 20:08.440 --> 20:10.440 son, I'll just be honest with you. 20:10.840 --> 20:12.540 I knew they were bad from the start. 20:13.700 --> 20:15.000 I knew they were bad. 20:16.080 --> 20:18.580 I knew they lacked some character qualities. 20:18.580 --> 20:20.080 And I just didn't want to say, 20:20.180 --> 20:21.540 it would be wrong for me to do that. 20:22.280 --> 20:24.480 Just because my son is close, 20:24.580 --> 20:25.660 he's my son, 20:25.800 --> 20:28.240 and my heart's endeared unto him or whatever it may be. 20:28.660 --> 20:29.960 It's not right to do. 20:31.620 --> 20:32.500 Be diplomatic 20:32.500 --> 20:33.480 about these things. 20:33.860 --> 20:36.120 Don't be this type of person in church 20:36.120 --> 20:37.840 where you're trying to make other people's minds 20:37.840 --> 20:39.340 evil-effective against others. 20:39.780 --> 20:42.100 Stay out of the relationships in the church, by the way. 20:43.500 --> 20:44.780 Mind your own business. 20:44.960 --> 20:45.840 Stop being a busy body. 20:45.840 --> 20:48.420 Let these people do, 20:48.620 --> 20:50.880 unless they're literally coming to you for advice, 20:51.420 --> 20:52.040 first and foremost, 20:52.500 --> 20:54.040 if you don't have good advice, don't give it. 20:56.980 --> 20:58.200 And let me just say this, 20:58.420 --> 21:00.060 bros, you guys should not be going to women 21:00.060 --> 21:00.980 for advice on dating. 21:01.340 --> 21:02.040 Let me just say that. 21:03.600 --> 21:04.860 Stop going to women for advice. 21:07.600 --> 21:08.300 What is that? 21:08.560 --> 21:09.340 What kind of world are we living? 21:10.440 --> 21:11.660 Don't go to women for advice. 21:12.720 --> 21:14.060 What do you think I should do? 21:15.060 --> 21:16.680 They're going to give you an emotional answer. 21:16.940 --> 21:18.280 They're going to get you to side with Lindsay Clancy. 21:18.380 --> 21:18.800 No, I'm just kidding. 21:22.140 --> 21:23.560 Stay out of the relationships 21:23.560 --> 21:25.060 unless they're actually coming to you 21:25.060 --> 21:26.620 and asking for counsel, 21:26.820 --> 21:27.660 asking for advice. 21:28.180 --> 21:30.280 Don't be this busy body trying to figure out 21:30.280 --> 21:32.180 don't be cupid in our church either. 21:32.940 --> 21:34.060 Trying to hook people up 21:34.060 --> 21:35.620 unless they're literally coming to you saying, 21:35.720 --> 21:38.700 hey, I know you're close to so and so. 21:39.000 --> 21:40.420 What are your thoughts on this or whatever? 21:41.020 --> 21:42.340 But don't be this busy body, 21:43.020 --> 21:44.160 cupid, you know, 21:44.940 --> 21:46.360 person that you're just interested 21:46.360 --> 21:48.940 in all what the singles are doing in our church. 21:49.300 --> 21:50.960 Let them screw themselves up. 21:51.040 --> 21:51.460 No, I'm just kidding. 21:51.860 --> 21:53.260 Let them make the decisions. 21:53.700 --> 21:56.020 If they need counsel, they need help. 21:56.120 --> 21:57.740 They'll come to you. Stay out of it. 21:58.180 --> 21:59.300 Now, look, as a pastor, 21:59.700 --> 22:01.040 sometimes I just got to get involved. 22:01.500 --> 22:02.980 People ask me. They come to me. 22:03.160 --> 22:04.500 They want to know what they should do. 22:04.580 --> 22:06.200 And honestly, I tell them, I say, look, 22:06.580 --> 22:08.640 if you are not going to listen to what I'm telling you, 22:08.640 --> 22:10.540 then I'm not interested in giving you any advice. 22:11.800 --> 22:13.760 Because I'm not going to cast my pearls before swine. 22:15.660 --> 22:16.420 And so, you know, 22:16.880 --> 22:18.020 but, you know, people come to me, 22:18.080 --> 22:20.400 and if they listen, then I drop knowledge, amen. 22:21.120 --> 22:22.520 Drop counsel, give them, 22:22.760 --> 22:23.780 give them the wisdom, 22:24.500 --> 22:26.860 and I'll help them as much as they let me help them. 22:27.500 --> 22:28.800 But I always tell people 22:28.800 --> 22:30.420 that when it comes to dating, I always tell them, 22:30.440 --> 22:32.400 like, I'm not your dad, you know, 22:32.560 --> 22:34.740 and so you're not my son, you're not my daughter, 22:34.920 --> 22:36.120 and I can't tell you exactly. 22:36.120 --> 22:37.720 Because people always want to know, like, 22:37.840 --> 22:39.460 what should I do? And I'm just like, 22:39.480 --> 22:40.480 I can't tell you what to do. 22:41.380 --> 22:42.740 You're not my son, you're not my daughter, 22:42.920 --> 22:46.360 I can direct you in the right way 22:46.360 --> 22:48.580 and give you direction or whatever it may be. 22:49.180 --> 22:50.240 But at the end of the day, 22:50.480 --> 22:52.360 they got to come to me and they got to ask me. 22:52.800 --> 22:53.920 But don't be the person 22:54.460 --> 22:56.100 that's just dying 22:56.100 --> 22:58.420 to just get involved in everyone's business. 22:58.740 --> 22:59.740 Who's dating who? 23:00.080 --> 23:01.200 Who broke up with who? 23:01.600 --> 23:04.440 What's going on here? Let's get the receipts. 23:04.440 --> 23:05.680 How are they feeling? 23:06.060 --> 23:07.000 Go read your Bible! 23:09.620 --> 23:10.540 Stay out of it! 23:12.320 --> 23:14.860 You're like, yeah, but I'm just so interested, though. 23:15.680 --> 23:16.840 I just want to know. 23:17.680 --> 23:18.780 Yeah, because you're nosy. 23:22.220 --> 23:24.620 And so, you know, and guys, 23:24.840 --> 23:26.620 please, please go get 23:26.620 --> 23:27.400 advice from men. 23:28.080 --> 23:29.580 Don't get advice from the ladies in our church. 23:30.380 --> 23:32.080 Unless it's like, what do women like? 23:32.980 --> 23:34.340 I'm looking to get a gift here. 23:34.500 --> 23:35.700 What should I... 23:35.700 --> 23:38.140 But don't get emotional advice from women, though. 23:40.440 --> 23:41.440 Because then at that point, 23:41.540 --> 23:43.200 I'm going to view you as a feminine person. 23:44.360 --> 23:45.560 A little mama's boy. 23:48.120 --> 23:49.340 You need proper... 23:49.340 --> 23:52.280 When I say men, I'm talking about men who have succeeded in that area, by the way. 23:53.100 --> 23:54.140 Not your contemporary 23:54.140 --> 23:55.760 who can't get a date. 23:59.240 --> 24:00.420 Not your contemporary 24:00.420 --> 24:02.940 who's constantly finding matches 24:02.940 --> 24:04.420 online or something like that. 24:04.800 --> 24:05.940 You need to go to someone 24:05.940 --> 24:07.720 who actually has succeeded in the area 24:08.400 --> 24:10.360 in that particular field. 24:12.080 --> 24:14.580 And so, it's important for us to recognize 24:14.580 --> 24:16.140 that we can't listen. 24:16.600 --> 24:18.100 And look, I especially, 24:18.320 --> 24:19.400 I'm preaching to myself as well. 24:19.500 --> 24:21.940 I got to make sure that my mind 24:21.940 --> 24:23.400 is not evil affected against others. 24:23.640 --> 24:25.900 And I don't believe just everything that I hear, either. 24:27.980 --> 24:29.280 And, you know, I, 24:29.600 --> 24:30.600 as far as I know, 24:30.900 --> 24:32.480 love everyone equally in our church. 24:32.900 --> 24:34.360 I favor people equally. 24:34.860 --> 24:35.680 I believe that. 24:36.040 --> 24:38.360 And obviously, do I get along with certain people more than others? 24:38.480 --> 24:39.920 Of course, that's just how it is, right? 24:40.400 --> 24:42.500 But that should not determine 24:43.020 --> 24:45.160 how I judge certain people, either, though. 24:46.160 --> 24:48.220 And so, it's just like, I'm not going to allow my mind 24:48.220 --> 24:49.980 to be evil affected against one over another. 24:50.460 --> 24:52.280 I want both parties, 24:52.940 --> 24:54.560 you know, all single people 24:54.560 --> 24:56.240 to just find a spouse, 24:56.860 --> 24:57.660 get married, 24:58.220 --> 25:00.500 live happily ever after, serve God. 25:00.780 --> 25:02.140 And it's not like, well, you know, 25:02.200 --> 25:04.140 we want what's best for this person more, though. 25:04.940 --> 25:06.560 This person has a lot of potential. 25:07.300 --> 25:08.160 They all got potential. 25:08.360 --> 25:09.040 Stop being that way. 25:12.500 --> 25:14.440 And so, yeah, but they're 25:14.440 --> 25:16.040 part of our team, though. 25:16.420 --> 25:17.460 We're all on the same team. 25:18.920 --> 25:20.100 Stop acting like that. 25:21.820 --> 25:22.940 There's not one team 25:22.940 --> 25:25.160 in this church that's better than another team, by the way. 25:26.200 --> 25:26.700 It's not like, 25:27.180 --> 25:28.680 hey, just, I know 25:28.680 --> 25:30.180 Pastor said it's not one team better, 25:30.360 --> 25:32.500 but I'm just letting you know right now, though. 25:34.480 --> 25:35.040 We are. 25:36.360 --> 25:37.240 We are, for sure. 25:38.640 --> 25:40.060 We're like a family. 25:41.480 --> 25:42.680 This is like a family. 25:43.060 --> 25:44.460 If I start hearing things like that, 25:44.480 --> 25:45.560 I'm going to start moving people around. 25:46.340 --> 25:47.640 And just break up the family. 25:49.660 --> 25:51.080 I'm just going to break that family 25:51.080 --> 25:53.860 up and just move people around 25:53.860 --> 25:55.240 just for the heck of it. 25:56.380 --> 25:57.500 Because we're not going to have 25:57.500 --> 25:58.380 cliques on our church. 26:00.000 --> 26:01.240 It's just like, yeah, 26:01.320 --> 26:02.680 that's them and we're us 26:02.680 --> 26:04.580 and this is what we do and this is how 26:05.080 --> 26:06.400 get that garbage out of here. 26:06.760 --> 26:07.980 I'm not interested in that. 26:08.580 --> 26:10.160 The point that I'm making here is that 26:10.160 --> 26:12.760 we need to make sure that we don't intentionally 26:12.760 --> 26:14.440 or unintentionally 26:14.440 --> 26:16.960 make people's minds evil affected against others. 26:17.260 --> 26:17.400 Amen. 26:17.400 --> 26:19.540 And try to mess up their reputation 26:20.800 --> 26:21.320 and 26:21.320 --> 26:22.920 you know, oh, you know, yeah, 26:23.000 --> 26:25.240 but I heard, what are you doing hearing? 26:27.380 --> 26:27.880 Come on. 26:28.480 --> 26:30.420 Why are you hearing in the first place? 26:31.240 --> 26:33.460 Yeah, but what I was told is 26:33.460 --> 26:35.040 that also all of a sudden 26:35.040 --> 26:36.700 you just believe everything you hear. 26:37.180 --> 26:39.240 The simple believe with every word the Bible says. 26:39.920 --> 26:40.900 Simple means stupid. 26:42.640 --> 26:43.640 Are you stupid? 26:43.640 --> 26:45.020 You know? 26:45.400 --> 26:47.340 And again, you know, and I get it. 26:47.480 --> 26:48.980 Sometimes, you know, people say stuff 26:48.980 --> 26:50.400 and they're very convincing 26:51.060 --> 26:53.040 and I just want to believe them off the bat. 26:53.980 --> 26:54.720 Like facts. 26:55.680 --> 26:56.420 This is facts. 26:56.640 --> 26:58.940 But I have to make sure that I don't 26:59.540 --> 27:01.200 and then I make diligent inquiry 27:01.200 --> 27:03.260 if it involves me, okay? 27:03.960 --> 27:05.620 And so, you know, if someone says something to you 27:05.620 --> 27:07.920 and you've already crossed that boundary 27:07.920 --> 27:09.300 of listening to that gossip 27:09.300 --> 27:11.260 like, oh, now I need to make diligent inquiry. 27:11.260 --> 27:12.800 No, why don't you just see yourself out? 27:14.680 --> 27:15.740 And just say, you know what? 27:16.660 --> 27:17.900 This is none of my business. 27:18.760 --> 27:20.460 I need to go iron my husband's shirts. 27:21.240 --> 27:22.280 I need to go do laundry. 27:22.780 --> 27:23.420 Cook a meal. 27:24.020 --> 27:24.700 Teach my kids. 27:25.540 --> 27:26.900 Go soul-winning. Read my Bible. 27:27.880 --> 27:29.540 I need to see what's going on with Lindsay Clancy. 27:30.120 --> 27:31.560 You know, I got my own 27:31.560 --> 27:33.320 TikTok investigations to do right now. 27:35.480 --> 27:37.020 You know, just go do something else. 27:38.420 --> 27:40.000 Rather than trying to investigate 27:40.000 --> 27:41.960 so what happened there exactly? 27:42.300 --> 27:43.220 None of your business. 27:44.340 --> 27:45.920 And look, you know, I'm telling you right now 27:45.920 --> 27:47.600 like right now we got a couple of single people 27:48.560 --> 27:49.520 in our church but 27:50.020 --> 27:52.120 in a few years it's going to be a lot of 27:52.120 --> 27:53.720 single people, okay? 27:54.160 --> 27:55.460 Why? Because our kids are going to grow up 27:56.260 --> 27:57.560 and, you know, they're going to be single. 27:57.760 --> 28:00.180 They're going to be looking for a maid. 28:00.360 --> 28:01.680 They're going to be interested in one another 28:01.680 --> 28:03.480 and right now, you know, 28:03.840 --> 28:05.920 they got their little horde 28:06.500 --> 28:08.140 of kids just running 28:08.140 --> 28:09.340 around the church, knocking people, 28:09.620 --> 28:11.160 but later on it's not going to be that way. 28:11.700 --> 28:13.000 They're going to grow up. 28:13.540 --> 28:15.080 They're going to be interested in one another. 28:15.280 --> 28:17.720 Lord willing and if not, whatever, you know. 28:18.020 --> 28:19.420 And there might be some instances 28:19.420 --> 28:21.840 where hearts are broken, things don't work out 28:21.840 --> 28:24.260 and you as parents, we as parents 28:24.260 --> 28:26.060 need to make sure that we don't allow 28:26.060 --> 28:28.140 our minds to be evil affected against them 28:28.140 --> 28:29.720 because you know what, sometimes relationships 28:29.720 --> 28:30.900 just don't work out. 28:31.520 --> 28:32.480 That's how it is. 28:34.240 --> 28:35.640 Yeah, but I just think 28:35.640 --> 28:36.600 that's your problem. 28:37.600 --> 28:39.560 If you weren't thinking you wouldn't have 28:39.560 --> 28:40.300 thought that. 28:41.620 --> 28:42.960 It's a famous line, amen. 28:45.000 --> 28:45.380 You know, 28:45.880 --> 28:47.520 stop trying to assess situations. 28:47.720 --> 28:49.460 Just recognize, you know, sometimes it just doesn't work out. 28:50.160 --> 28:51.780 Sometimes it just doesn't work out. 28:52.360 --> 28:52.960 They're, you know, 28:53.380 --> 28:55.340 both parties are godly, both parties 28:55.340 --> 28:56.440 are doing the right thing 28:56.440 --> 28:58.480 and so just let them move on 28:58.480 --> 29:01.500 and stop trying to get people 29:01.500 --> 29:02.720 to favor one over the other. 29:02.720 --> 29:03.240 Amen? 29:04.560 --> 29:05.800 Those are the first two verses. 29:07.300 --> 29:07.700 Okay? 29:08.380 --> 29:10.200 And I'm telling you because you don't want to come to church 29:10.200 --> 29:12.220 and then your countenance is different 29:12.220 --> 29:14.240 towards people because of some situation. 29:15.240 --> 29:16.520 You know, you're happy with 29:16.520 --> 29:17.900 that person before but all of a sudden 29:17.900 --> 29:18.280 they're just like, 29:20.740 --> 29:22.640 who did that person think they are? 29:22.900 --> 29:23.080 You know? 29:24.820 --> 29:25.540 It's nonsense. 29:27.040 --> 29:28.460 So, you know, that's just 29:28.460 --> 29:29.320 food for thought there. 29:31.060 --> 29:32.240 But, you know, this worked out 29:32.240 --> 29:33.380 together for good because, you know, 29:33.520 --> 29:34.720 Jacob had to leave, right? 29:34.940 --> 29:35.920 It was time for Jacob to go. 29:36.600 --> 29:37.200 It says in verse 3, 29:41.260 --> 29:45.900 And Jacob said to them, 29:47.140 --> 29:48.660 I see your father's countenance 29:48.660 --> 29:51.000 that it is not toward me as before 29:51.000 --> 29:53.260 but the God of my father 29:53.260 --> 29:54.400 hath been with me 29:54.400 --> 29:56.500 and you know that with all my power 29:56.500 --> 29:58.120 I have served your father 29:58.120 --> 29:59.300 and your father hath been with me 29:59.300 --> 29:59.900 and you have deceived me 29:59.900 --> 30:02.520 and changed my wages ten times 30:02.520 --> 30:05.240 but God suffered him not to hurt me. 30:05.480 --> 30:06.680 So, you know, Jacob is, 30:07.040 --> 30:08.220 you know, the Lord is with Jacob. 30:08.380 --> 30:10.000 He's telling him it's time for him to go home, 30:10.220 --> 30:11.400 go back to his land 30:11.900 --> 30:13.640 and he's explaining this to his wife 30:13.640 --> 30:14.940 saying, you know, it's time for me to go. 30:15.380 --> 30:17.140 You know how your father has mistreated me 30:17.140 --> 30:20.080 but despite that God has protected me. 30:20.360 --> 30:21.200 He's blessed me. 30:21.540 --> 30:24.040 And obviously he's being a little self-righteous here 30:24.040 --> 30:25.020 because he's making it seem as though 30:25.020 --> 30:26.460 he's done nothing wrong, right? 30:27.140 --> 30:29.320 But obviously he has been deceptive 30:29.320 --> 30:30.960 and the Lord's blessed him 30:30.960 --> 30:31.620 despite that. 30:31.920 --> 30:34.340 It says he's changed his wages ten times ten 30:34.340 --> 30:34.940 in the Bible. 30:35.140 --> 30:36.580 It's often a number of tribulation 30:36.580 --> 30:37.680 and testing. 30:38.060 --> 30:39.900 So he changes his wages ten times 30:39.900 --> 30:40.860 throughout these 20 years 30:40.860 --> 30:42.980 and we can say that Jacob has been tested 30:42.980 --> 30:44.920 for these last 20 years. 30:45.280 --> 30:47.220 Okay? God's working on him. 30:47.620 --> 30:49.040 Skip down to verse 30:49.040 --> 30:50.920 number 13. 30:51.080 --> 30:52.340 It says, I am the God of Bethel 30:52.340 --> 30:54.240 where thou anointest the pillar 30:54.240 --> 30:55.980 and with thou vows to valentine me 30:55.980 --> 30:58.220 now arise and get thee out from this land 30:58.220 --> 31:00.020 and return into the land of thy kindred 31:00.020 --> 31:02.420 and Rachel and Leah answered and said unto him 31:02.420 --> 31:04.440 is there yet any portion or inheritance 31:04.440 --> 31:05.700 for us in our fathers' house? 31:06.260 --> 31:08.420 Are we not counted of him strangers? 31:08.940 --> 31:10.140 For he hath sold us 31:10.140 --> 31:11.660 and hath quite delivered 31:11.660 --> 31:13.780 or devoured also our money 31:13.780 --> 31:15.500 for all the riches which God 31:15.500 --> 31:17.900 hath taken from our father, that is ours 31:17.900 --> 31:19.480 and our children's now then 31:19.480 --> 31:21.660 whatsoever God hath said unto thee do. 31:21.800 --> 31:22.860 So, what do we have here? 31:22.980 --> 31:25.300 Jacob's just like, hey, your dad's being this way 31:25.300 --> 31:26.640 this is what's going on. 31:26.860 --> 31:28.240 So now Jacob is making 31:29.000 --> 31:30.300 his wives' minds 31:30.300 --> 31:33.040 evil affected against their father. 31:33.840 --> 31:34.140 Right? 31:34.640 --> 31:35.680 Because they're saying all these things 31:35.680 --> 31:37.800 and then what do you have the daughters doing? 31:37.860 --> 31:41.340 They're like, well, yeah, he has kind of taken our riches, hasn't he? 31:41.580 --> 31:43.060 And we don't really have an inheritance. 31:43.260 --> 31:44.040 Yeah, let's get out of here. 31:44.260 --> 31:45.020 And what do they end up doing? 31:45.020 --> 31:46.240 Rachel ends up stealing 31:46.800 --> 31:47.680 from her father. 31:48.340 --> 31:50.540 So it's wrong on both sides, right? 31:51.340 --> 31:52.920 This is a very dysfunctional family. 31:53.760 --> 31:55.140 They're just liars 31:55.140 --> 31:56.960 they're deceiving each other, they're slanders 31:57.860 --> 31:59.040 they're just doing wrong 31:59.040 --> 32:00.120 in this area, okay? 32:01.780 --> 32:03.280 It says in verse 17 32:03.280 --> 32:04.800 then Jacob rose up 32:04.800 --> 32:06.720 and set his sons on his wives upon camels 32:06.720 --> 32:08.560 and carried away all his cattle and all his goods 32:08.560 --> 32:09.960 which he had gotten, the cattle of his getting 32:09.960 --> 32:11.940 which he had gotten in Pandanaram 32:11.940 --> 32:14.520 for to go to Isaac his father in the land of Canaan 32:14.520 --> 32:16.040 and Laban went to shear his sheep 32:16.040 --> 32:18.380 and Rachel had stolen the images 32:18.380 --> 32:19.940 that were her father's 32:20.620 --> 32:22.260 and Jacob stole away unawares 32:22.260 --> 32:23.520 to Laban the Syrian 32:23.520 --> 32:25.840 and that he told him not 32:25.840 --> 32:28.480 that he fled. So we still see here 32:28.480 --> 32:30.140 some semblance of fear 32:30.140 --> 32:32.300 in doubt in the heart 32:32.300 --> 32:33.980 of Jacob. Why? Well, God 32:33.980 --> 32:35.880 is the one telling him go home 32:35.880 --> 32:37.980 but yet he's still being sneaky about it. 32:38.600 --> 32:39.920 He's like afraid of Laban 32:39.920 --> 32:41.740 he doesn't say anything so he secretly 32:41.740 --> 32:43.020 leaves Laban 32:44.080 --> 32:46.020 and takes off without saying anything 32:46.020 --> 32:47.980 whereas what he should have done is just gone to Laban 32:47.980 --> 32:49.600 and say, hey, my time's up 32:49.600 --> 32:51.200 I'm leaving right now 32:51.200 --> 32:53.100 and regardless of what happens 32:53.100 --> 32:54.500 I hope God blesses you 32:54.980 --> 32:56.180 you've already been blessed 32:56.180 --> 32:58.780 and so it's time to part ways and so forth 32:58.780 --> 33:01.040 but obviously because he's a liar 33:01.040 --> 33:02.600 he's deceptive, he's kind of sneaky 33:02.600 --> 33:04.460 he ends up leaving unawares 33:04.460 --> 33:07.180 and as we see here Rachel ends up stealing 33:07.180 --> 33:09.260 from her father. It says in verse 33:09.260 --> 33:11.040 number 21 33:11.040 --> 33:12.600 so he fled with all that he had 33:12.600 --> 33:14.400 and he rose up and passed over the river 33:14.400 --> 33:17.060 and set his face towards Mount Gilead 33:17.060 --> 33:19.300 and it was told Laban on the third day 33:19.300 --> 33:21.240 that Jacob was fled. He took his brethren 33:21.240 --> 33:23.300 with him and pursued after him seven days journey 33:23.300 --> 33:25.200 and they overtook him into Mount Gilead 33:25.200 --> 33:27.340 and God came to Laban the Syrian 33:27.340 --> 33:29.400 in a dream by night and said to him 33:29.400 --> 33:31.020 take heed that thou speak not 33:31.020 --> 33:32.740 Jacob to Jacob either good 33:32.740 --> 33:35.160 or bad. Now look Jacob 33:35.160 --> 33:37.280 is a deceiver but man he does have 33:37.280 --> 33:38.680 the Lord with him in a big way right 33:39.320 --> 33:40.840 and I don't necessarily 33:40.840 --> 33:43.360 think that it's because of Jacob's character 33:43.360 --> 33:44.720 because he's just a man of integrity 33:44.720 --> 33:46.960 obviously the overarching 33:46.960 --> 33:48.980 theme here is that God 33:48.980 --> 33:51.040 is trying to get a job done through 33:51.040 --> 33:53.000 these men okay through 33:53.000 --> 33:54.740 Abraham through Isaac 33:54.740 --> 33:57.240 through Jacob and so he's 33:57.240 --> 33:58.780 just trying to like you know he's 33:58.780 --> 34:00.500 essentially winking at 34:01.020 --> 34:02.640 the flaws of these men right 34:03.280 --> 34:04.440 and so Laban 34:04.440 --> 34:05.800 it sounds like 34:06.300 --> 34:08.300 Laban intends to harm Jacob 34:08.300 --> 34:10.400 which is why God has to come to him and 34:10.400 --> 34:12.260 say hey don't speak anything good 34:12.260 --> 34:14.020 or bad it's kind of like a threat like 34:14.020 --> 34:15.920 don't you do anything to him because 34:15.920 --> 34:17.980 obviously he's the Lord is with him here 34:17.980 --> 34:19.900 verse 25 says then Laban overtook Jacob 34:19.900 --> 34:21.820 now Jacob had pitched his tent in the 34:21.820 --> 34:23.680 Mount and Laban with his brother pitched 34:23.680 --> 34:25.500 in the Mount of Gilead and Laban said 34:25.500 --> 34:27.040 to Jacob what is thou done 34:27.680 --> 34:29.760 that thou has stolen away unawares to 34:29.760 --> 34:31.380 me and carried away my daughters as 34:31.380 --> 34:33.460 captives taken with the sword wherefore 34:33.460 --> 34:35.100 didst thou flee away secretly 34:35.700 --> 34:37.740 and steal away from me and didst 34:37.740 --> 34:39.600 not tell me that I might have sent 34:39.600 --> 34:41.220 thee away with mirth and with songs with 34:41.220 --> 34:42.800 tabern with harp okay let's just be honest 34:42.800 --> 34:44.060 though Laban you wouldn't have done that 34:45.100 --> 34:47.440 you've kept them here for 20 years 34:47.440 --> 34:49.500 okay you would have just 34:49.500 --> 34:51.660 looked for another reason to keep 34:51.660 --> 34:53.540 them there but you know 34:53.540 --> 34:55.380 Laban is just as deceptive as the other so 34:55.380 --> 34:57.580 you know verse 28 and 34:57.580 --> 34:59.620 has not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters 34:59.620 --> 35:01.080 thou has done 35:01.080 --> 35:03.340 thou has now done foolishly in doing so 35:03.340 --> 35:05.620 it is in the power of my hand 35:05.620 --> 35:07.900 to do you hurt but the God of your father 35:07.900 --> 35:09.520 spake unto me yesterday saying take thou 35:09.520 --> 35:11.080 heed that thou speak not 35:11.080 --> 35:13.420 to Jacob either good or bad and now 35:13.420 --> 35:15.480 though thou wouldst needs be gone because 35:15.480 --> 35:17.320 thou soar longest after thy father's house 35:17.320 --> 35:19.780 yet wherefore has thou stolen my gods 35:19.780 --> 35:21.480 and Jacob answered and said to 35:21.480 --> 35:22.860 Laban because I was afraid 35:23.380 --> 35:24.980 for I said for adventure that would 35:24.980 --> 35:27.220 us take by force thy daughters 35:27.220 --> 35:28.300 from me so 35:28.860 --> 35:31.020 you know we have a sticky situation here 35:31.020 --> 35:33.020 because Jacob doesn't know that Rachel has 35:33.020 --> 35:34.060 stolen the gods 35:34.960 --> 35:37.060 now this is also demonstrating 35:37.860 --> 35:39.000 that lay us probably 35:39.000 --> 35:40.780 more righteous than Rachel right 35:41.640 --> 35:43.000 you know she's the one 35:43.000 --> 35:44.840 who's tender-eyed she's the one who has 35:44.840 --> 35:46.760 the most children by Jacob and 35:46.760 --> 35:48.520 she's the one who's not stealing the gods 35:48.520 --> 35:50.780 now we don't know the exact motive 35:50.780 --> 35:52.620 as to why Rachel stole the gods 35:52.620 --> 35:54.760 it could be that they had some 35:54.760 --> 35:56.120 monetary value 35:56.120 --> 35:58.740 to them but regardless 35:58.740 --> 36:00.760 this is theft right 36:00.760 --> 36:02.580 this is theft she's being 36:02.580 --> 36:04.520 deceptive she's doing this without the knowledge 36:04.520 --> 36:06.240 of her husband ok 36:06.240 --> 36:08.680 and so this is wrong and Jacob 36:08.680 --> 36:10.380 is just kind of like well I was afraid 36:10.380 --> 36:11.720 this is why I left secretly 36:12.260 --> 36:14.640 skip down to verse number 36:14.640 --> 36:16.640 33 says Laban went into 36:16.640 --> 36:17.920 Jacob's tent and lay us tent 36:17.920 --> 36:20.720 and into the two maidservants tents but he found them not 36:20.720 --> 36:22.580 then went he out of lay us tent 36:22.580 --> 36:23.660 and entered into Rachel's tent 36:23.660 --> 36:25.780 now Rachel had taken the images 36:25.780 --> 36:27.700 and put them in the camel's furniture 36:27.700 --> 36:30.300 and sat upon them and Laban 36:30.300 --> 36:32.520 searched all the tent but found them not 36:32.520 --> 36:33.920 and she said to her father 36:33.920 --> 36:36.560 let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise up 36:36.560 --> 36:38.500 before thee for the custom of women is upon me 36:38.500 --> 36:40.520 and he searched but found not the images 36:40.520 --> 36:42.360 so she just lied she was just sitting on them right 36:43.280 --> 36:44.520 now what do we learn from this 36:44.520 --> 36:45.580 well we learn 36:46.520 --> 36:47.320 that Rachel 36:47.320 --> 36:49.080 is a bad daughter 36:49.080 --> 36:50.440 and she's a bad wife 36:51.260 --> 36:53.380 because she's keeping things from her 36:53.380 --> 36:54.220 biblical authority 36:54.880 --> 36:57.120 and I guarantee you that's not the first time she's lied 36:57.120 --> 36:57.900 ok 36:58.640 --> 37:00.920 and look folks it's important for us to realize 37:00.920 --> 37:02.700 that first and foremost 37:02.700 --> 37:03.780 lying is wrong 37:04.660 --> 37:07.160 but it's especially bad if a wife 37:07.160 --> 37:09.160 lies and keeps things from her spouse 37:10.360 --> 37:11.280 where does it begin 37:11.280 --> 37:12.640 by keeping things from your dad 37:13.320 --> 37:14.860 ok and so 37:14.860 --> 37:16.580 you know we need to recognize that 37:16.580 --> 37:18.720 honesty is always the best 37:18.720 --> 37:20.420 policy we need to be 37:20.420 --> 37:22.280 virtuous people of truth 37:22.280 --> 37:24.700 of honesty and daughters make sure 37:24.700 --> 37:26.580 you don't keep things from your dad 37:27.960 --> 37:28.800 be honest 37:28.800 --> 37:30.720 with your parents be honest with your father 37:30.720 --> 37:32.560 and you know sometimes people 37:32.560 --> 37:34.680 one of the reasons people lie and keep things 37:34.680 --> 37:37.220 from their parents is because they're afraid of the repercussions 37:37.220 --> 37:38.820 or they're afraid 37:39.540 --> 37:40.440 what's my parent 37:40.440 --> 37:41.940 what are my parents gonna think of me 37:41.940 --> 37:44.020 if they find out that I lied about this 37:44.020 --> 37:45.560 or that I did this particular thing 37:45.560 --> 37:47.100 but let me just tell you this 37:47.100 --> 37:49.360 it's better for you to just fess up 37:50.200 --> 37:52.280 ok and come clean with your parents 37:52.280 --> 37:54.160 rather than having your parents 37:54.160 --> 37:55.520 find out that you lied 37:56.220 --> 37:57.600 find out that you stole 37:57.600 --> 38:00.000 find out that you did something wrong and sinful 38:00.000 --> 38:01.840 and then they're extremely disappointed 38:01.840 --> 38:03.920 I'm telling you right now as a parent 38:04.740 --> 38:05.720 as a parent 38:05.720 --> 38:08.320 I would rather my kids come to me 38:08.320 --> 38:09.800 and confess what they've done 38:09.800 --> 38:11.040 and you know what 38:11.040 --> 38:12.280 I'll be very merciful to them 38:12.280 --> 38:14.220 I have that policy in my home 38:14.220 --> 38:16.620 that if my kids 38:17.260 --> 38:18.680 confess to me without me knowing 38:18.680 --> 38:20.800 I'm not talking about like I caught them and they confess 38:22.020 --> 38:22.940 I'm talking about 38:22.940 --> 38:25.000 they come to me and they confess 38:25.000 --> 38:26.320 that they've done wrong 38:27.140 --> 38:28.860 I will be very lenient with them 38:28.860 --> 38:30.400 now I'm not saying they won't receive 38:30.400 --> 38:31.640 any type of punishment 38:31.640 --> 38:33.580 I'm just saying that they won't receive 38:33.580 --> 38:35.480 as severe punishment as they would have 38:35.480 --> 38:36.500 if I would have caught them 38:37.120 --> 38:38.960 I do believe parents should be merciful 38:38.960 --> 38:40.040 I think we should be gracious 38:40.040 --> 38:41.560 but listen to me kids 38:41.560 --> 38:45.100 you need to make sure that you don't keep things 38:45.100 --> 38:45.960 from mom and dad 38:45.960 --> 38:47.400 be honest with them 38:47.400 --> 38:50.020 these are your God given authorities 38:50.020 --> 38:51.900 these are your best friends 38:51.900 --> 38:53.200 that you will ever have 38:54.020 --> 38:55.220 before you get married 38:55.960 --> 38:58.000 and it's important for you to recognize 38:58.000 --> 39:00.200 that you need to be just transparent with your parents 39:00.200 --> 39:02.500 and let me tell you something kids 39:03.080 --> 39:03.600 Satan 39:04.320 --> 39:06.340 tries to keep you from telling the truth 39:06.340 --> 39:07.340 to your parents all the time 39:07.900 --> 39:09.460 Satan tries to keep you 39:11.240 --> 39:12.280 harboring lies 39:12.280 --> 39:13.940 and not telling the truth 39:14.260 --> 39:15.720 because he wants you to develop 39:15.720 --> 39:18.340 a habit of just bearing false witness 39:18.340 --> 39:20.360 lying and stealing and doing wrong 39:20.360 --> 39:21.860 all the time that always happens 39:21.860 --> 39:23.500 Satan wants you to keep that covered 39:23.500 --> 39:25.780 because he's constantly whispering to you 39:25.780 --> 39:28.120 they're going to get mad if they find out about this 39:28.120 --> 39:29.480 they're going to be disappointed 39:29.480 --> 39:31.120 oh this is going to happen 39:31.120 --> 39:32.240 just don't tell them 39:32.240 --> 39:34.960 but you got to make sure that you don't give heed 39:35.500 --> 39:36.980 to the temptations of Satan 39:36.980 --> 39:39.040 and just say I need to come clean with my mom and my dad 39:40.900 --> 39:43.220 and your relationship will always be better 39:43.220 --> 39:45.160 with your parents if you just be honest with them 39:45.160 --> 39:47.600 and look folks, kids listen up 39:48.920 --> 39:50.240 your parents love you 39:50.980 --> 39:53.300 and there's nothing too crazy you can tell your parents 39:54.520 --> 39:56.320 don't everything like yeah but this is really crazy 39:56.320 --> 39:57.060 nothing too crazy 39:57.920 --> 39:59.100 your parents are not going to be like 40:00.940 --> 40:02.340 first of all your parents probably did worse 40:02.340 --> 40:03.220 I'll just be honest with you 40:03.940 --> 40:05.420 it's just very likely okay 40:06.580 --> 40:08.260 but secondly your parents love you 40:09.020 --> 40:10.340 your parents care for you 40:10.340 --> 40:12.340 your parents are there to raise you in the nurture 40:12.340 --> 40:13.400 and admonition of the Lord 40:13.400 --> 40:16.320 they're there to help you 40:16.320 --> 40:17.260 through that situation 40:18.340 --> 40:20.500 to help you to confess it before the Lord 40:20.500 --> 40:21.480 to get it right with God 40:21.480 --> 40:22.680 and so you can move on 40:22.680 --> 40:25.120 and look one of the worst things that you can do 40:25.120 --> 40:26.620 as a kid is this 40:26.620 --> 40:29.740 listen to me is keep guilt in you 40:30.980 --> 40:32.240 it's the worst thing you can do 40:33.240 --> 40:34.940 it's like this nasty cloud 40:34.940 --> 40:36.740 that just looms over you all the time 40:37.740 --> 40:39.540 knowing that you're keeping things from your parents 40:40.560 --> 40:42.260 it's a nasty cloud it's called guilt 40:42.260 --> 40:43.360 it's called fear 40:44.160 --> 40:45.500 guilt of being found out 40:45.500 --> 40:48.400 but let me tell you if you want that to be completely removed 40:48.780 --> 40:50.080 you just go to mom and dad and say 40:50.080 --> 40:51.760 I have something to tell you and I'm sorry 40:51.760 --> 40:53.820 and you can break down you can cry 40:53.820 --> 40:55.780 and just say I did wrong and this is what I did 40:55.780 --> 40:57.160 and you know what the cloud goes away 40:58.180 --> 40:59.380 mom and dad forgive you 40:59.380 --> 41:00.720 you might suffer a little punishment 41:00.720 --> 41:03.400 but you know what compared to what would happen 41:03.400 --> 41:05.180 if you just carried on with that lie 41:05.180 --> 41:06.880 carried on with that deception 41:06.880 --> 41:10.500 having that cloud of guilt looming over you 41:10.500 --> 41:11.660 that cloud grows 41:11.660 --> 41:13.140 over the years and over the months 41:14.040 --> 41:15.520 well get it right with your mom and dad 41:15.520 --> 41:17.320 tell them be honest with them 41:17.320 --> 41:19.400 and be transparent with them so you don't have to live that way 41:19.400 --> 41:20.120 okay 41:20.700 --> 41:22.920 and let me say this if you develop 41:22.920 --> 41:24.800 a habit of lying to your parents 41:24.800 --> 41:27.020 listen to me you will eventually 41:27.020 --> 41:28.960 become a person who lies to your spouse 41:31.500 --> 41:33.440 you end up developing the habit 41:33.440 --> 41:35.340 of lying to your husband 41:35.340 --> 41:37.320 and lying to your wife 41:37.320 --> 41:38.680 that's exactly how it is 41:39.160 --> 41:41.400 and you know what it's wrong to lie to our spouses 41:41.400 --> 41:43.180 it's wrong to 41:43.180 --> 41:44.440 keep things from our spouses 41:44.440 --> 41:46.500 because we don't want them to find out 41:46.500 --> 41:48.500 unless you're getting them a gift or something like that 41:51.260 --> 41:53.060 we still got this money here 41:53.060 --> 41:54.740 no one ever claimed a $10 41:54.740 --> 41:56.340 we got such an honest church 41:57.640 --> 41:58.040 anyways 42:00.700 --> 42:02.000 don't keep things from your spouse 42:02.000 --> 42:04.360 and don't say don't tell mom 42:04.360 --> 42:05.420 don't tell dad 42:06.340 --> 42:08.060 this is our little secret 42:08.060 --> 42:08.700 that's wicked 42:09.800 --> 42:11.300 that's a godless thing to do 42:12.720 --> 42:13.820 lying to your 42:13.820 --> 42:15.540 teaching your kids 42:15.540 --> 42:18.100 just passing on that generational curse 42:18.100 --> 42:18.520 to them 42:19.580 --> 42:21.580 okay but this is our little secret 42:21.580 --> 42:22.900 don't say anything 42:23.620 --> 42:24.880 you're teaching your kids 42:24.880 --> 42:27.740 mom doesn't respect dad's authority 42:27.740 --> 42:30.000 it's okay to lie to dad 42:30.000 --> 42:32.020 because dad is someone 42:32.020 --> 42:33.020 that we just lie to 42:33.020 --> 42:35.640 because we respect mom and mom is telling me 42:35.640 --> 42:36.500 that I can lie to dad 42:37.220 --> 42:38.600 it's evil it's wicked 42:38.600 --> 42:40.320 it's a godless thing to do 42:40.320 --> 42:41.980 but it's for their own good 42:41.980 --> 42:44.380 you're destroying your family 42:45.060 --> 42:46.460 and you're destroying 42:46.460 --> 42:48.380 the character of your children as well 42:48.380 --> 42:48.900 okay 42:50.880 --> 42:52.560 have a policy of honesty 42:53.560 --> 42:54.460 and you know what 42:54.460 --> 42:56.520 Rachel had no problem just lying to her dad 42:57.060 --> 42:58.760 and keeping that from Jacob as well 42:59.880 --> 43:01.240 we need to make sure we're just honest 43:01.920 --> 43:02.360 okay 43:03.400 --> 43:05.200 and if my wife came to me 43:05.200 --> 43:06.260 and said let me see your search history 43:06.260 --> 43:07.960 like what go for it 43:07.960 --> 43:08.780 another night 43:09.460 --> 43:10.900 are you gonna see his like 43:12.200 --> 43:13.600 anti-jew videos 43:13.600 --> 43:14.480 or you know 43:14.480 --> 43:17.300 let me see your search history 43:17.300 --> 43:19.020 you're gonna see racist memes 43:19.020 --> 43:20.240 you know 43:20.980 --> 43:23.260 you're gonna see stuff about editing 43:23.260 --> 43:25.900 you're gonna see whatever 43:25.900 --> 43:27.360 well let me see your dm's 43:27.360 --> 43:28.020 go for it 43:29.560 --> 43:31.860 you'll see a lot of unopened messages 43:31.860 --> 43:32.660 first and foremost 43:33.840 --> 43:34.480 you know 43:35.640 --> 43:36.900 now if that worries you 43:36.900 --> 43:37.740 like oh man I don't know 43:37.740 --> 43:38.940 see that's a problem 43:40.360 --> 43:43.060 my wife can go through my phone at any given time 43:43.060 --> 43:44.320 I got nothing to hide 43:44.320 --> 43:45.420 you know 43:45.420 --> 43:47.420 if there's something bad on there 43:47.420 --> 43:49.620 just say sorry 43:50.120 --> 43:51.080 say you know what 43:51.080 --> 43:53.540 I don't know how that got there 43:53.540 --> 43:54.920 I don't know what happened 43:56.220 --> 43:57.640 I legitimately don't know 43:57.640 --> 43:59.640 and here's the thing folks 43:59.640 --> 44:01.200 is that you know what honesty does 44:01.200 --> 44:03.280 it allows you to accumulate trust 44:03.280 --> 44:04.520 in your bank 44:04.520 --> 44:07.460 ok so in case you know 44:07.460 --> 44:09.320 something you know does happen 44:09.320 --> 44:12.320 and it looks suspicious because you just have a good track record 44:12.320 --> 44:13.580 she's not gonna think 44:13.580 --> 44:15.600 he's not gonna think that you're up to something 44:16.380 --> 44:17.920 you're just a trustworthy person 44:18.620 --> 44:19.380 there you go 44:19.380 --> 44:20.040 right 44:21.500 --> 44:24.100 and here's the great thing about being an honest person 44:24.720 --> 44:25.960 you don't gotta keep her 44:25.960 --> 44:26.360 seats 44:27.480 --> 44:29.040 of things that you've said in the past 44:29.940 --> 44:30.480 you know 44:30.480 --> 44:31.960 just tell the truth all the time 44:32.840 --> 44:34.260 tell the truth all the time 44:34.260 --> 44:35.840 be an honest individual 44:36.240 --> 44:38.640 and you don't have to worry like oh man I gotta keep track of my lies 44:38.640 --> 44:39.240 or something 44:39.900 --> 44:40.300 ok 44:41.680 --> 44:43.720 Rachel's over here stealing false gods 44:43.720 --> 44:45.680 and I'm sure Jacob would have been pissed 44:46.640 --> 44:47.980 he would have been super mad 44:48.960 --> 44:50.440 she got the virgin Mary 44:51.300 --> 44:52.100 the equivalent 44:53.280 --> 44:54.600 she's sitting under it 44:55.620 --> 44:57.700 you know that she got from her dad 44:57.700 --> 44:59.200 her dad probably got from her 44:59.200 --> 45:00.740 his Mexican you know grandma 45:00.740 --> 45:01.160 whatever 45:01.840 --> 45:02.940 you know they're not Mexican 45:02.940 --> 45:05.880 but you know she's keeping that for whatever reason 45:05.880 --> 45:07.180 just not telling you 45:07.180 --> 45:09.120 and Jacob over here is like saying like 45:09.120 --> 45:11.960 whoever's hand it's found in let them die 45:12.760 --> 45:13.480 you know 45:13.480 --> 45:16.060 and then you know Rachel's doing that monkey meme 45:17.420 --> 45:18.400 she's like 45:18.400 --> 45:19.320 oh dang you know 45:20.860 --> 45:21.960 cause he's just like 45:21.960 --> 45:23.660 no one is an idolater in my home 45:23.660 --> 45:25.200 uh Rachel is 45:26.040 --> 45:27.640 Rachel got a false god with her 45:27.640 --> 45:28.740 she stole from her father 45:28.740 --> 45:30.720 she lied to her father and she's lying to you 45:32.960 --> 45:33.840 you know 45:33.840 --> 45:35.700 we need marriages that are just honest 45:35.700 --> 45:36.440 with each other 45:37.980 --> 45:38.860 not deceptive 45:38.860 --> 45:40.960 not keeping things from your spouse 45:40.960 --> 45:42.800 obviously I'm not talking about gifts 45:43.760 --> 45:44.200 alright 45:44.200 --> 45:47.500 my wife doesn't really have to work hard 45:47.500 --> 45:49.660 at keeping gifts from me cause I'm just extremely 45:49.660 --> 45:50.820 oblivious to that stuff 45:50.820 --> 45:53.520 she can literally keep a gift in my office 45:53.520 --> 45:55.540 if I walk by I'll look at it 45:55.540 --> 45:57.340 and not think of it cause I'm just so 45:57.340 --> 45:58.900 model minded I'm like that's a box 45:58.900 --> 46:01.780 alright let's move on and I just don't notice things 46:02.500 --> 46:03.620 like she doesn't have to 46:03.620 --> 46:05.240 hide Christmas gifts from me 46:05.240 --> 46:07.580 she could put it in plain sight and I probably just wouldn't see it 46:08.420 --> 46:09.340 but you know what 46:09.340 --> 46:11.240 other than that you should just not keep anything else 46:11.240 --> 46:11.880 from your spouse 46:13.600 --> 46:15.680 you know be an honest person 46:15.680 --> 46:17.700 your spouse is not your enemy 46:18.380 --> 46:19.840 they're not your adversary 46:19.840 --> 46:20.860 and 46:21.540 --> 46:23.160 the more you think that they are 46:24.060 --> 46:25.820 the more miserable you're going to be 46:25.820 --> 46:26.400 in your marriage 46:28.560 --> 46:29.120 ok 46:29.620 --> 46:30.500 you guys are a team 46:31.240 --> 46:32.620 and so you know 46:33.620 --> 46:34.740 Rachel is 46:35.800 --> 46:36.580 no bueno 46:38.180 --> 46:38.740 ok 46:38.740 --> 46:40.520 she almost got herself killed 46:41.760 --> 46:42.900 and you know 46:44.340 --> 46:45.720 she's stealing false gods 46:45.720 --> 46:46.840 I mean she's just like what are you 46:46.840 --> 46:47.860 you're an idolater 46:47.860 --> 46:50.440 like jacob pride doesn't even know that 46:51.060 --> 46:52.500 so you're just like some 46:53.200 --> 46:53.640 secret 46:54.900 --> 46:56.300 worshipper of idols 46:56.920 --> 46:57.780 what the heck 46:57.780 --> 47:00.000 do you think no one's going to find out about this 47:00.000 --> 47:02.120 like later she's just hiding it's crazy 47:03.280 --> 47:03.920 you know 47:03.920 --> 47:04.900 and look 47:05.440 --> 47:06.800 if you have a spouse 47:08.120 --> 47:09.700 that is strict about finances 47:10.560 --> 47:11.920 don't try to hide purchases 47:12.480 --> 47:12.880 right 47:14.420 --> 47:16.060 like oh I don't want them to know 47:16.060 --> 47:17.220 what I'm buying or whatever 47:17.620 --> 47:18.880 you know be honest 47:18.880 --> 47:21.240 and if you have trouble with spending then you know 47:21.240 --> 47:21.760 get that 47:23.380 --> 47:25.780 you know compare with your spouse 47:25.780 --> 47:27.340 and say look this is what I want to buy 47:27.760 --> 47:29.260 these are the things that I like to buy 47:29.260 --> 47:30.620 and so you know 47:31.520 --> 47:33.100 I'm not trying to keep this from you 47:33.100 --> 47:35.440 but this is you know I like to buy apple pies 47:35.440 --> 47:37.400 when I'm at work or something you know 47:38.400 --> 47:39.880 I like to go to McDonald's 47:39.880 --> 47:40.320 you know 47:41.260 --> 47:43.600 don't be a person who's just hiding purchases 47:43.600 --> 47:45.540 you're hiding things you're just a 47:45.540 --> 47:47.580 deceptive person always 47:47.580 --> 47:49.140 because you're afraid to be found out 47:49.140 --> 47:52.080 you know your spouse already knows 47:52.080 --> 47:53.900 that your clothes stink 47:53.900 --> 47:55.700 they already know your flaws 47:55.700 --> 47:57.920 they know the areas that you 47:57.920 --> 47:58.700 fall short in 47:59.560 --> 48:00.820 you're one with them 48:01.900 --> 48:04.140 and so keep it that way 48:04.140 --> 48:05.740 that you know 48:05.740 --> 48:07.620 you're honest with them you're telling the truth 48:07.620 --> 48:08.820 you're not hiding things from them 48:08.820 --> 48:09.340 okay 48:10.980 --> 48:12.620 and for sure let me also say this 48:12.620 --> 48:14.460 and I could just finish off here because the rest of the story 48:14.460 --> 48:15.920 you know they just kind of 48:15.920 --> 48:17.840 they make a covenant between each other 48:17.840 --> 48:19.800 they're not going to overstep their boundaries 48:19.800 --> 48:21.800 blah blah blah and so forth 48:21.800 --> 48:23.140 and then Laban just goes away 48:23.740 --> 48:25.060 by the way this is a good chapter 48:25.060 --> 48:26.820 to learn from 48:26.820 --> 48:29.580 of what type of in-law you shouldn't be 48:31.200 --> 48:32.420 don't be Laban 48:34.220 --> 48:35.020 because Laban 48:35.020 --> 48:36.480 he could just kiss his family goodbye 48:37.800 --> 48:38.200 right 48:39.740 --> 48:41.320 he could just kiss his family goodbye 48:41.320 --> 48:43.540 because you know what Jacob's probably never going to bring 48:44.080 --> 48:45.440 the kids and the wives 48:46.000 --> 48:46.760 to go see 48:47.920 --> 48:50.060 Laban anymore because he just doesn't like Laban 48:50.600 --> 48:51.000 okay 48:51.000 --> 48:53.200 whereas look if you play your cards right 48:53.680 --> 48:54.080 parents 48:54.720 --> 48:56.300 right you play your cards right 48:56.740 --> 48:58.600 you know you don't have to worry about 48:58.600 --> 48:59.940 oh man I'm never going to see him again 48:59.940 --> 49:02.760 well if you're a good in-law you don't have to worry about that 49:02.760 --> 49:04.200 they're going to bring him to you 49:04.760 --> 49:06.840 but if you're just an unbearable 49:06.840 --> 49:07.420 in-law 49:07.420 --> 49:09.640 you're just constantly criticizing 49:09.640 --> 49:11.460 you're wronging the spouse 49:11.460 --> 49:14.160 you're doing all this evil stuff 49:14.160 --> 49:15.380 you're being deceptive 49:15.380 --> 49:17.080 you guys just can't get along 49:17.080 --> 49:18.840 then guess what you probably won't see him again 49:18.840 --> 49:20.500 and you know what we see here 49:20.500 --> 49:23.200 that this is a good example of instances 49:23.200 --> 49:25.580 where in-laws just have to separate 49:27.260 --> 49:28.220 geographically sometimes 49:29.900 --> 49:30.480 that's what 49:30.480 --> 49:32.140 no amen's on that alright 49:34.060 --> 49:34.780 scaredy cats 49:36.920 --> 49:38.780 you know sometimes that's a good idea 49:40.500 --> 49:41.620 look I get along 49:42.320 --> 49:43.420 fairly well with my in-laws 49:44.780 --> 49:46.700 because we're kind of far away from each other 49:46.700 --> 49:47.660 you know 49:47.660 --> 49:49.140 but I do get along with my in-laws 49:49.140 --> 49:52.120 I make sure there's enough cities 49:52.120 --> 49:52.920 between us 49:54.500 --> 49:54.980 okay 49:56.120 --> 49:57.600 sometimes I miss them 49:57.600 --> 49:59.180 and sometimes I'll tell my wife 49:59.180 --> 50:00.260 hey let's go see your family 50:00.260 --> 50:03.280 because we haven't seen them 50:03.880 --> 50:05.140 and we'll go see them 50:05.140 --> 50:06.680 and then you know 50:07.180 --> 50:08.080 once a year 50:08.080 --> 50:11.160 you know but 50:11.160 --> 50:13.080 the thing is that the distance 50:13.530 --> 50:14.940 allows the heart to grow fonder 50:15.470 --> 50:17.400 and therefore we're not at each other's necks 50:17.400 --> 50:19.340 and obviously there was a time 50:19.340 --> 50:21.040 early on in my marriage 50:21.600 --> 50:23.360 where we were bumping heads a lot 50:23.360 --> 50:25.620 and I was just kind of like in my mind 50:25.620 --> 50:27.360 like you're never going to see 50:28.240 --> 50:29.660 these kids ever again 50:29.660 --> 50:30.500 kiss them goodbye 50:31.380 --> 50:32.940 and the Lord is with me on this 50:33.600 --> 50:35.540 you know and you know what really just 50:35.540 --> 50:36.920 ticks me off about this story 50:37.620 --> 50:39.380 just ticks me off 50:40.040 --> 50:41.520 and it ticks off any 50:42.400 --> 50:43.140 you know 50:43.140 --> 50:44.700 red-blooded testosterone 50:45.640 --> 50:46.200 man 50:46.200 --> 50:49.420 is when Laban's like these are my daughters 50:49.420 --> 50:50.900 these are my kids 50:50.900 --> 50:52.380 these are my sons 50:52.380 --> 50:54.080 and these are just like 50:55.200 --> 50:56.000 what bro 50:57.180 --> 50:58.720 no these are my wives 50:58.720 --> 50:59.580 and these are my kids 50:59.580 --> 51:01.240 they don't belong to you 51:02.220 --> 51:04.760 you know Laban suffered a major consequence there 51:05.360 --> 51:06.420 you know he could have been 51:06.420 --> 51:07.720 he could have been like you know what 51:07.720 --> 51:09.740 you're right you know he should be 51:09.740 --> 51:10.500 like Jethro 51:12.020 --> 51:13.720 Jethro is actually a really good father-in-law 51:14.440 --> 51:15.800 he's an awesome father-in-law 51:16.600 --> 51:18.000 and bro might be a pagan too 51:18.000 --> 51:19.380 I don't know he's a priest 51:19.380 --> 51:21.160 a medium that's all we know about him 51:21.700 --> 51:23.240 but sometimes the children 51:23.240 --> 51:25.220 of this world are much wiser than the children 51:25.220 --> 51:25.640 of light 51:27.220 --> 51:29.100 and you know you know because you have 51:29.100 --> 51:30.560 Moses he sends back his wife 51:30.560 --> 51:32.660 because she's just too contentious 51:33.280 --> 51:34.540 she's big problems 51:35.600 --> 51:36.040 okay 51:38.020 --> 51:39.060 and then you know 51:39.060 --> 51:39.760 because she's toxic 51:40.960 --> 51:42.440 and then you know what does Jethro do 51:42.440 --> 51:43.120 he brings her back 51:44.460 --> 51:46.180 the funny thing about that story 51:46.180 --> 51:47.300 is that when he brings her back 51:47.300 --> 51:49.400 Moses doesn't go and hug his wife 51:49.400 --> 51:51.880 he goes and he hugs his father-in-law 51:52.680 --> 51:53.480 you know 51:54.180 --> 51:55.560 and then you know Jethro 51:56.000 --> 51:57.780 he's just like I brought your wife 51:57.780 --> 51:58.760 and your children 51:58.760 --> 52:00.420 like he knows his place 52:01.700 --> 52:03.020 and the man is just wise 52:03.020 --> 52:04.060 he gives him a lot of wisdom 52:04.620 --> 52:06.520 and Moses enjoys his company 52:07.060 --> 52:08.580 you know he's hanging out with him 52:09.020 --> 52:10.220 that's a good father-in-law 52:11.060 --> 52:13.200 you know very contrasting father-in-laws 52:13.200 --> 52:14.640 here between Jethro and Laban 52:14.640 --> 52:15.520 don't be Laban 52:16.540 --> 52:19.320 and I'm going to work my hardest not to be like Laban 52:19.320 --> 52:21.580 I want to be like Jethro to my son-in-laws 52:21.580 --> 52:22.660 you know 52:23.150 --> 52:23.860 my son-in-laws 52:23.860 --> 52:26.240 you know 52:26.240 --> 52:28.560 but I want to be able to get along with my son-in-laws 52:28.560 --> 52:29.940 love my son-in-laws 52:29.940 --> 52:30.840 have them over 52:31.360 --> 52:34.680 and want them to have me in their lives 52:34.680 --> 52:36.000 my wife in their lives and stuff 52:36.000 --> 52:38.080 but you know we need to be like Jethro 52:38.080 --> 52:39.080 not like Laban though 52:40.640 --> 52:41.240 deceptive 52:41.880 --> 52:42.480 overbearing 52:42.920 --> 52:44.460 just getting involved 52:44.800 --> 52:45.700 in the business 52:45.700 --> 52:47.860 it's not natural my friends 52:49.520 --> 52:50.720 it's not natural 52:50.720 --> 52:52.820 to constantly have your in-laws in your life 52:52.820 --> 52:54.460 just dictating everything that's going on 52:54.460 --> 52:55.700 it's not natural 52:55.700 --> 52:58.600 it's not natural for them to get involved in your marriage 52:58.600 --> 53:00.940 it's not natural to have them get involved 53:00.940 --> 53:02.260 in your child rearing 53:02.260 --> 53:04.700 it's not natural unless you invite them in 53:04.700 --> 53:06.640 let them know their boundaries though 53:07.640 --> 53:08.000 okay 53:09.140 --> 53:10.060 it's not natural 53:10.060 --> 53:12.940 and it makes for a horrible relationship between you and your in-laws 53:12.940 --> 53:14.260 and then you know what's going to happen 53:14.260 --> 53:16.500 your husband Jacob is going to be like 53:16.500 --> 53:18.880 hey we need to move back to Canaan 53:19.620 --> 53:21.460 because I don't like it here anymore 53:21.920 --> 53:22.440 you know 53:23.200 --> 53:23.840 and so 53:23.840 --> 53:25.940 I didn't even know what point I was going to make after that 53:27.440 --> 53:28.700 or before that should I say 53:31.860 --> 53:32.660 I mean that's good 53:32.660 --> 53:33.500 you know 53:33.500 --> 53:35.320 that's a good point to end off on 53:35.320 --> 53:37.240 is that we need to make 53:37.240 --> 53:39.560 what this chapter teaches us more than anything 53:40.340 --> 53:41.640 is first and foremost 53:42.460 --> 53:43.720 don't feel bad if you come 53:44.460 --> 53:45.300 from a 53:45.300 --> 53:46.900 a bad family 53:46.900 --> 53:48.240 you know 53:48.240 --> 53:51.240 just a disruptive family 53:51.240 --> 53:53.040 just completely in disarray 53:53.040 --> 53:54.440 and have all these problems 53:54.440 --> 53:55.860 look because they did too 53:55.860 --> 53:59.540 but what we can learn is that we need to make sure 53:59.540 --> 54:00.940 we know our place 54:01.880 --> 54:02.400 okay 54:02.800 --> 54:04.680 we need to make sure that we know 54:04.680 --> 54:07.060 that we need to be honest with our spouse 54:07.060 --> 54:08.420 be kind 54:08.420 --> 54:09.660 to our in-laws 54:09.660 --> 54:11.900 be kind to our son-in-laws 54:11.900 --> 54:14.020 be kind to our daughter-in-laws 54:14.020 --> 54:16.120 and stay out of their business 54:17.060 --> 54:17.580 okay 54:17.580 --> 54:20.220 but if you get anything from this sermon get this 54:20.220 --> 54:21.060 just understand this 54:21.060 --> 54:23.700 we can't play favorites with people 54:24.840 --> 54:26.460 especially if we're all on the same team 54:27.420 --> 54:27.940 okay 54:27.940 --> 54:30.480 and so let's pray. Father we thank you so much for your word 54:30.480 --> 54:32.600 and thank you for these examples 54:32.600 --> 54:33.720 that we have here Lord 54:33.720 --> 54:35.480 help us as your people 54:35.480 --> 54:38.060 to adopt these 54:38.060 --> 54:38.780 principles Lord 54:38.780 --> 54:40.480 we need to be honest with our spouses 54:40.480 --> 54:44.100 we have a society that promotes deception 54:44.840 --> 54:45.400 and 54:45.400 --> 54:47.340 being deceptive towards husbands 54:47.340 --> 54:49.800 and towards wives and keeping things from them 54:50.380 --> 54:51.720 and keeping relationships 54:51.720 --> 54:52.900 secret Lord 54:53.700 --> 54:54.740 it's a godless thing to do 54:54.740 --> 54:55.900 men should not have 54:56.760 --> 54:58.580 secret relationships with other people 54:58.580 --> 55:00.780 that their wife doesn't know about 55:00.780 --> 55:02.640 it's a godless thing to do 55:02.640 --> 55:04.900 it should be as open as possible 55:04.900 --> 55:06.780 and I pray that you would 55:06.780 --> 55:08.080 help us Lord as your people 55:08.740 --> 55:10.760 to keep honesty in our 55:10.760 --> 55:12.780 marriage and transparency 55:12.780 --> 55:13.420 as well 55:14.020 --> 55:16.000 and also Lord as I mentioned in the beginning 55:16.000 --> 55:18.360 I pray that you would help us to be diplomatic in church 55:19.120 --> 55:20.700 to not favor one over 55:20.700 --> 55:22.680 the other to the point where we begin 55:22.680 --> 55:23.780 to exclude others 55:24.240 --> 55:25.720 and think evil of others 55:26.240 --> 55:27.680 because of situations in the past 55:27.680 --> 55:29.360 and I pray that you bless us as we go on our way Lord 55:29.360 --> 55:31.020 we love you we thank you pray this things in Jesus name 55:31.020 --> 55:31.500 Amen