Alright, we're in Genesis chapter 31 this evening and we're continuing with all of the conflict that Jacob is experiencing with his in-laws here.
And if you remember back in chapter 30, we have Jacob and his wives bearing children.
And it's essentially the chapter where with we find all of the children that will make up the 12 tribes, excluding of course Benjamin.
And then we have him acting deceitfully towards the letter N.
But through it all we see that God is still with Jacob.
Not because he approves of what Jacob is doing, not that he approves of his deception, his cunning behavior,
but because obviously God has to work with sinners.
And so Jacob through this process of being with Laban is going to learn a lot of valuable lessons.
He's basically getting a taste of his own medicine with Laban.
And here in chapter 31 is the pivotal point where Jacob finally decides to leave this land, to leave his uncle's region and go back home.
And why is that?
Well look at verse 1 it says,
And Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban and behold it was not toward him as before.
So a couple things I want to mention regarding just these first couple verses here.
And that is that when we go into this particular story we're already 20 years in.
So from the time that Jacob arrived to Laban and he's trying to marry his daughters and so forth,
you have 20 years that have already passed and it's about time for him to get going.
But one of the things that really motivates him to leave is the fact that he hears his brother-in-law gossiping about him.
It specifically says that he hears the words of Laban's sons and they're criticizing him.
They are speaking evil of him and as we see here they're obviously envying him.
They, you know, Jacob hasn't necessarily done anything wrong per se in the sense of, you know, God has blessed him.
He's given him that increase.
He has blessed his resources of course.
But, you know, Laban's sons are not happy with that.
They're envious of him.
Now the first thing I want to mention here is that we've got to be careful about the gossip we listen to about us.
Okay?
You know, I'm sure if we're like these TikTok investigators that are out right now,
we can find all types of people that are talking trash about us, right?
We can find all types of people that are trashing us and that are speaking evil of us.
Maybe it's our family members.
Maybe it's friends.
You know, we can literally dig into all of the slander and nonsense that people are saying about us.
You know, it can completely ruin our day for sure, right?
And so, you know, there's a biblical principle in the Bible that essentially states that we shouldn't necessarily try to find every single evil thing that's stated about us
because at the end of the day, I don't know about you, but it can get me in the flesh, right?
And it can get us to have a wrong view of people.
Of course, sometimes things are taken out of context.
But, you know, it makes me think of Ecclesiastes chapter 7 and verse 21 that says this,
Also take no heed unto all the words that are spoken,
Lest thou hear thy serving curse thee.
You know, he's like, don't listen to everything that's out there
because eventually you're going to run into someone who you like
and end up saying something negative about you.
Not all the time, but you know, it can happen, right?
Someone's going to curse you.
Someone you're close to is going to say something bad about you.
And then you're like, yeah, but I can't believe they said that, though.
Why would they say such a thing?
Well, hold on a second.
Verse 22 says this,
For oftentimes also,
Thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise has cursed others.
Okay?
So before you jump on that person and criticize them for criticizing you,
just know that you've probably done the same as well, right?
So the point being here is that we've all been guilty
of maybe talking trash behind someone's back, right?
And we see the principle here that Jacob somehow heard the words of Laban
and I don't think that this is the first time
Laban's sons have been saying evil things about Jacob.
I'm sure this has happened throughout the time that he's been there
since the resources have increased and so forth.
And so, you know, it's just for whatever reason,
his ear was in the right place at the right time
and he heard these evil things that he's saying about Jacob.
Okay?
Now, obviously there's going to come times where you can't avoid
when people are speaking evil of you, right?
And people should not be slandering others,
speaking ill of others,
bringing up a false report about others,
talking trash about others.
That's obviously an evil thing to do
and it's obviously not a Christian virtue.
Now, what's the result of this?
Well, it says in verse 2,
Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban
and behold, it was not toward him as before.
So what happened here?
Well, obviously because Laban's sons are talking in his ear,
saying, oh, man, this guy's taking all your resources.
He's got better things than us.
Look at all his glory.
It's making Laban's mind evil affected against Jacob.
Because keep in mind in the chapter before,
he's like, I know God's blessed me because of you.
I know the Lord has blessed my resources because you're here
and that's 100% true, right?
So, you know, it sounds like Laban,
prior to this conversation with the sons,
he was happy to have Jacob with him.
He was happy with having his presence there,
working for him, you know,
taking advantage of him to a certain degree
because he knew that God was with him.
It wasn't until his sons came, started slandering
and putting these evil thoughts into the mind of Laban
that now Laban's like, oh, yeah, you know,
maybe, yeah, you're right.
Jacob has kind of, you know,
become glorious at my expense
and his resources have increased
and obviously, Jacob notices this.
It says his countenance was not as it was toward him as before.
Now, what does the countenance mean?
It means his facial expressions, right?
So, you know, in the morning, Laban would see him and say,
hey, how's it going?
You know, everything all right?
You're making me some money, you know?
Is everything all right?
But then after a while,
he's just kind of like narrow-eyedly looking at him,
kind of suspicious of him.
Now, he's just like, I wonder what this guy's cooking up now.
And obviously, we can take all of Jacob's character
and say, well, actually, you have a valid point there.
You, to be a little suspicious of Jacob
because he is a little cunning.
But here's the thing, though,
is that he's essentially believing all of the evil report
that his sons are bringing to him about him, okay?
And this is wicked.
And what's the principle that we can learn here?
You know, we need to make sure,
let's talk about family first and foremost, right?
That we don't just listen to the evil reports of our family
about our loved ones or about anybody else, okay?
You know, we need to make sure
that when someone brings up an evil report about our wife,
about our husband, about, you know, our children,
about mom, about dad,
that we stop them right in their tracks, right?
And say, I don't want to hear this.
This is slander.
This is gossiping.
You're being a tattletale and a busy body.
And even if what you're saying is true,
go talk to that person about it.
Leave me alone.
Because what's the point?
The point is that they're going to make your mind evil-affected
against your spouse, against your husband, against your wife,
against your children, against your parents.
And so, you know,
Laban should have been like, hey, boys,
why don't you shut up and get back to work, okay?
When you can produce the amount of resources
that Jacob is producing and put in the work here
and stop acting like a bunch of, you know,
envious little brother-in-laws, you know,
then I'll listen to you once you're producing more.
But, you know, it sounds like you're just a little jealous,
a little envious of Jacob.
But, of course, Laban didn't do that, right?
And, you know, you need to make sure you don't listen
to the bad report that people bring about your spouse.
Especially your spouse, right?
Oh, when you have a mother-in-law,
a father-in-law, some sort of family member
that's coming to you and saying, hey, you know,
you know I love you, right?
You know, I really, I love you.
You guys mean the world to me.
And I'm only telling you this because I love you.
Just know, at that point,
some evil's gonna come out of their mouth, right?
And just be like, I'm not trying to criticize you
or anything like that.
I like what you guys got going on right here.
It's great that you guys are going to church.
Oh, it's great that you guys are doing this.
But, you know, your husband,
your wife, they go a little overboard, you know?
And they start throwing these insults,
these slanderous statements about your spouse.
You need to stop them running the tracks,
regardless of who it's coming from.
I'm talking about if your mama's coming to you
and saying these things, you need to rebuke that.
Because our number one loyalty,
this side of eternity is to our spouse.
Don't let anybody criticize your spouse, okay?
Don't let anybody talk down on your spouse,
criticize your spouse,
talk trash about your spouse.
You defend your spouse, you know, to the highest degree.
And don't listen to the slander.
Don't listen to the criticisms.
Don't listen to, well, you know,
I just want to say this one thing about, you know,
the way you're doing things,
the way your spouse does these things,
the way your wife is doing it,
the way your husband is doing it.
Just say this, you know,
I'm not interested in listening to this, okay?
And I don't want to hear this
because at the end of the day, folks,
let's just, you know,
let's just use some examples here, okay?
Some artificial examples, okay?
You know, if a parent
or an in-law, a mother-in-law,
a father-in-law is criticizing
the husband to the wife,
you know, it's likely that the wife can be,
can just give an ear to that
and be susceptible to the criticisms
that her parents are giving to her
because wives are just kind of like that.
They're just, they're emotional beings.
They sometimes can just believe everything
as noted what's going on this week, right?
They just believe everything.
You know, you put a certain,
you put the X-Files music behind a video,
they'll just believe it.
Oh, it must be true, right?
And so, ladies,
you need to make sure that you recognize
your susceptibility,
not just to deception,
but also to criticisms as well.
And in light of knowing
that you're susceptible to these things
because you're just emotional,
you just gotta be like, you know what,
I'm not gonna listen to that, don't tell me that.
And if they just wanna keep pushing the issue,
keep pushing the issue, this is what you do.
You say, if you want to continue to fellowship
with me, my husband, or my kids,
I suggest you stop right now.
Because if not,
I've been commanded of my husband
to separate, to part ways from you
because I'm not gonna allow anybody
to just criticize my husband, okay?
Talk trash about my husband
and criticize his leadership,
criticize the way he does things.
You know, you're supposed to be promoting me
to, you know, and encouraging me
to submit to my husband, to love my husband,
not to think evil of him.
Well, I'm just trying to, you know,
I'm just, I'm glad you, yeah,
yeah, I'm glad you're trying to,
I'm just saying, you know,
he needs to zip it.
I don't wanna hear it.
Don't accept criticisms about your spouse,
okay, and you know,
and vice versa.
You know, if your mother-in-law,
your father-in-law comes to you
talking trash about your wife,
stop them dead in their tracks
and say, this conversation's over
and I never want to hear you
say anything bad about my wife
ever again.
And if you do, then you're not
seeing the grandkids anymore.
Use that card, that typically gets them.
Okay, you'll never see them
ever again.
And folks, we wanna communicate loyalty
to our spouse, right?
And recognize they are,
and look, you know, obviously,
if you're the type to just give into these criticisms,
your mind is gonna be evil affected against them.
And then, you're gonna be
critical of your spouse,
you're gonna start criticizing them in your hearts,
being critical of their leadership,
critical of their decisions,
critical of their actions,
every word that comes out of their mouth,
you're just being cynical about
and it's not right, okay?
Then your countenance
will not be towards them as it was before.
Why? Because you allow someone
to criticize your family member,
your wife, your spouse.
It's not right to do, okay?
And so, look, if you are the type of person
who you're just susceptible
to gossip, here's the remedy.
Just stop them dead in their tracks.
Identify
that they're talking trash
about your wife or your husband
and then stop them right then and there,
okay? And don't let it be a habit,
because what they're doing
is they're just trying to like see
what you're willing to take, okay?
Like, yeah, but what about like
honor thy father and mother?
You know, I forgot the conditional part of that verse
that says, you know, especially above
your spouse.
You know, honor thy father and thy mother
especially above your husband,
especially above your spouse, no.
You know, the
unit of marriage,
the husband and wife is a far more
important unit than your relationship
to your mom and your dad.
That's a fact. And look, obviously
these things should be in harmony,
right? Meaning that we should be able to
love our wife as Christ loved the church,
she should submit and obey her husband
and reverence her husband, respect her husband,
you know, and still
be able to honor our father
and mother at the same time. But let me
just say this, because we live in a sinful
world where sometimes things get
mixed up and you're forced to choose,
choose your spouse.
No one in the world
will say, well, I'm just going to honor my mom
and my dad despite the fact that they're
causing me to dishonor my spouse.
It's not right to do, okay?
And so make sure
you obey your husband
above even your mom and dad.
Yes, amen to that.
Okay?
You're like, well,
you know, he's my dad
and he's always been right. Yeah, but you married
me though.
And I've replaced your father.
Every woman who's gotten married
has had their father
replaced by their husband.
That's exactly how it works.
Okay? And I'm not
saying hate your father or anything like that.
You know, obviously
in a perfect world,
your husband
would be great friends
with your father and so forth.
I'm talking about the extreme cases where
you know, the wife might be
tempted to obey
the leadings of her father,
even God forbid, her mother
above her husband.
That's a godless thing to do.
It's not biblical. It's not right.
The point being here is that
you know, laymen and sons
need to shut up and get back to work.
Okay? And stop being so
envious of
you know, what Jacob is producing.
But also, you know, this applies
in marriage. This applies
also in a
church. Okay?
We need to make sure, listen to me, that we don't
make anybody's mind in here
evil affected against someone else
just because we favor one church member
over another. Okay?
Just because you don't agree with certain
decisions of one person or this
relationship or these people
or what this person did
doesn't give you the right to make
people's minds evil affected against that
individual. Stay out of it.
Okay?
You're like, oh yeah, but we gotta
we're really close to this person
and because we're really close to this
member, you know, look, we could be close
to church members for sure.
But that doesn't give you the right
to act wickedly against another
church member though.
Okay? You know, it doesn't give
you the right to favor them
in such a way that other people feel
excluded. They feel like you're criticizing them.
They feel like you are doing
wrong towards them. You know, favoring
someone shouldn't feel like
you're excluding someone else.
Okay? We need to be diplomatic
in church and not be a bunch of high
school girls in our church
trying to click up with other people
against so and so. We're not mean girls
here. Okay?
This isn't the mean girls club
where we're trying to look for
cliques and crews in the church. We're Christians.
We're brothers and sisters in Christ.
And let me just also say this
is that as our church
continues to grow
numerically, spiritually,
you know, we're having a bunch of babies
and, you know, these
toddlers and these
10-year-olds, 13, they start growing up.
They start, you know, they start growing up
and then they're gonna start dating. Okay?
Ugh. You know, I'm just not
looking forward to that. You know?
They're gonna start dating and, you know,
talking about marriage
and all this. That's great, right?
And we think there's those, that's
so beautiful.
You know, these kids are gonna get, start dating.
But just know this, though, there
probably be some heartbreaks, though.
Right? That's just the fact.
You know?
Some of them might break my son's heart.
You know?
Some of them might break one of your daughters heart. I don't know.
That's just a possibility.
Okay?
But it would be wrong for,
you know, let's say for example
one of my son's dates, and
I'm using this as an example because it's not gonna happen for a really long time.
And don't be talking about dating to my
kids, by the way. Okay?
My kids are little kids.
Okay? Don't be trying to pair anybody up
and like, oh man, I think both of these
can really work together or whatever.
They're kids. They play Pokemon,
Legos, and that's what they need to be doing.
Loving the Lord, their parents.
And they're not in the season of dating right now, okay?
Don't talk to, you know,
if you want to do that with your kids, that's your business.
But keep my kids out of that.
Okay?
But again, for the sake of illustrating,
let's use an artificial illustration here.
And let's say one of my son's,
he's in his 20s or whatever,
and he ends up dating, you know,
one of the girls, one of the daughters here.
And it's going great.
And then, you know, they just,
he breaks up with her.
Oh, let's use the different illustration.
Let's say the girl breaks up with my son.
Shatters his heart.
Breaks his little heart.
You know?
You know, it wouldn't be right for me
to just all of a sudden
have my mind evil affected
against that daughter
and that family because of that.
And just be like, huh,
who are these people?
Once I understand I'm the pastor,
this is my kid, they're going to do this.
You know?
And just rally a bunch of people
to sympathize towards my son
or something like that.
You know what I mean? Just because that happened.
Folks, that's life.
I don't want my son to have his heart broken.
I don't want my daughters to get the heart broken.
So I'm going to aid them as much as possible
and help them throughout this process.
But it's just unavoidable sometimes, right?
It may happen.
And you know, if my daughter breaks
your son's heart and vice versa,
don't get mad at me and I won't get mad at you
and don't try to rally people
to your cause to be against this person
just because that happened.
It's not right to do.
This isn't high school.
Grow up.
Well, we have to protect the hearts of the people.
We need to protect their healing.
We need to make sure that they heal.
Forget that.
Let them get over it.
And obviously,
I'm going to be sensitive towards my daughters
if that happens.
But towards my son, I'll be like,
where are you dodging the bullet?
Dodge the bullet.
Get over it.
You've got to get over it. This is life.
This is what happens.
And I'm not going to be like,
son, I'll just be honest with you.
I knew they were bad from the start.
I knew they were bad.
I knew they lacked some character qualities.
And I just didn't want to say,
it would be wrong for me to do that.
Just because my son is close,
he's my son,
and my heart's endeared unto him or whatever it may be.
It's not right to do.
Be diplomatic
about these things.
Don't be this type of person in church
where you're trying to make other people's minds
evil-effective against others.
Stay out of the relationships in the church, by the way.
Mind your own business.
Stop being a busy body.
Let these people do,
unless they're literally coming to you for advice,
first and foremost,
if you don't have good advice, don't give it.
And let me just say this,
bros, you guys should not be going to women
for advice on dating.
Let me just say that.
Stop going to women for advice.
What is that?
What kind of world are we living?
Don't go to women for advice.
What do you think I should do?
They're going to give you an emotional answer.
They're going to get you to side with Lindsay Clancy.
No, I'm just kidding.
Stay out of the relationships
unless they're actually coming to you
and asking for counsel,
asking for advice.
Don't be this busy body trying to figure out
don't be cupid in our church either.
Trying to hook people up
unless they're literally coming to you saying,
hey, I know you're close to so and so.
What are your thoughts on this or whatever?
But don't be this busy body,
cupid, you know,
person that you're just interested
in all what the singles are doing in our church.
Let them screw themselves up.
No, I'm just kidding.
Let them make the decisions.
If they need counsel, they need help.
They'll come to you. Stay out of it.
Now, look, as a pastor,
sometimes I just got to get involved.
People ask me. They come to me.
They want to know what they should do.
And honestly, I tell them, I say, look,
if you are not going to listen to what I'm telling you,
then I'm not interested in giving you any advice.
Because I'm not going to cast my pearls before swine.
And so, you know,
but, you know, people come to me,
and if they listen, then I drop knowledge, amen.
Drop counsel, give them,
give them the wisdom,
and I'll help them as much as they let me help them.
But I always tell people
that when it comes to dating, I always tell them,
like, I'm not your dad, you know,
and so you're not my son, you're not my daughter,
and I can't tell you exactly.
Because people always want to know, like,
what should I do? And I'm just like,
I can't tell you what to do.
You're not my son, you're not my daughter,
I can direct you in the right way
and give you direction or whatever it may be.
But at the end of the day,
they got to come to me and they got to ask me.
But don't be the person
that's just dying
to just get involved in everyone's business.
Who's dating who?
Who broke up with who?
What's going on here? Let's get the receipts.
How are they feeling?
Go read your Bible!
Stay out of it!
You're like, yeah, but I'm just so interested, though.
I just want to know.
Yeah, because you're nosy.
And so, you know, and guys,
please, please go get
advice from men.
Don't get advice from the ladies in our church.
Unless it's like, what do women like?
I'm looking to get a gift here.
What should I...
But don't get emotional advice from women, though.
Because then at that point,
I'm going to view you as a feminine person.
A little mama's boy.
You need proper...
When I say men, I'm talking about men who have succeeded in that area, by the way.
Not your contemporary
who can't get a date.
Not your contemporary
who's constantly finding matches
online or something like that.
You need to go to someone
who actually has succeeded in the area
in that particular field.
And so, it's important for us to recognize
that we can't listen.
And look, I especially,
I'm preaching to myself as well.
I got to make sure that my mind
is not evil affected against others.
And I don't believe just everything that I hear, either.
And, you know, I,
as far as I know,
love everyone equally in our church.
I favor people equally.
I believe that.
And obviously, do I get along with certain people more than others?
Of course, that's just how it is, right?
But that should not determine
how I judge certain people, either, though.
And so, it's just like, I'm not going to allow my mind
to be evil affected against one over another.
I want both parties,
you know, all single people
to just find a spouse,
get married,
live happily ever after, serve God.
And it's not like, well, you know,
we want what's best for this person more, though.
This person has a lot of potential.
They all got potential.
Stop being that way.
And so, yeah, but they're
part of our team, though.
We're all on the same team.
Stop acting like that.
There's not one team
in this church that's better than another team, by the way.
It's not like,
hey, just, I know
Pastor said it's not one team better,
but I'm just letting you know right now, though.
We are.
We are, for sure.
We're like a family.
This is like a family.
If I start hearing things like that,
I'm going to start moving people around.
And just break up the family.
I'm just going to break that family
up and just move people around
just for the heck of it.
Because we're not going to have
cliques on our church.
It's just like, yeah,
that's them and we're us
and this is what we do and this is how
get that garbage out of here.
I'm not interested in that.
The point that I'm making here is that
we need to make sure that we don't intentionally
or unintentionally
make people's minds evil affected against others.
Amen.
And try to mess up their reputation
and
you know, oh, you know, yeah,
but I heard, what are you doing hearing?
Come on.
Why are you hearing in the first place?
Yeah, but what I was told is
that also all of a sudden
you just believe everything you hear.
The simple believe with every word the Bible says.
Simple means stupid.
Are you stupid?
You know?
And again, you know, and I get it.
Sometimes, you know, people say stuff
and they're very convincing
and I just want to believe them off the bat.
Like facts.
This is facts.
But I have to make sure that I don't
and then I make diligent inquiry
if it involves me, okay?
And so, you know, if someone says something to you
and you've already crossed that boundary
of listening to that gossip
like, oh, now I need to make diligent inquiry.
No, why don't you just see yourself out?
And just say, you know what?
This is none of my business.
I need to go iron my husband's shirts.
I need to go do laundry.
Cook a meal.
Teach my kids.
Go soul-winning. Read my Bible.
I need to see what's going on with Lindsay Clancy.
You know, I got my own
TikTok investigations to do right now.
You know, just go do something else.
Rather than trying to investigate
so what happened there exactly?
None of your business.
And look, you know, I'm telling you right now
like right now we got a couple of single people
in our church but
in a few years it's going to be a lot of
single people, okay?
Why? Because our kids are going to grow up
and, you know, they're going to be single.
They're going to be looking for a maid.
They're going to be interested in one another
and right now, you know,
they got their little horde
of kids just running
around the church, knocking people,
but later on it's not going to be that way.
They're going to grow up.
They're going to be interested in one another.
Lord willing and if not, whatever, you know.
And there might be some instances
where hearts are broken, things don't work out
and you as parents, we as parents
need to make sure that we don't allow
our minds to be evil affected against them
because you know what, sometimes relationships
just don't work out.
That's how it is.
Yeah, but I just think
that's your problem.
If you weren't thinking you wouldn't have
thought that.
It's a famous line, amen.
You know,
stop trying to assess situations.
Just recognize, you know, sometimes it just doesn't work out.
Sometimes it just doesn't work out.
They're, you know,
both parties are godly, both parties
are doing the right thing
and so just let them move on
and stop trying to get people
to favor one over the other.
Amen?
Those are the first two verses.
Okay?
And I'm telling you because you don't want to come to church
and then your countenance is different
towards people because of some situation.
You know, you're happy with
that person before but all of a sudden
they're just like,
who did that person think they are?
You know?
It's nonsense.
So, you know, that's just
food for thought there.
But, you know, this worked out
together for good because, you know,
Jacob had to leave, right?
It was time for Jacob to go.
It says in verse 3,
And Jacob said to them,
I see your father's countenance
that it is not toward me as before
but the God of my father
hath been with me
and you know that with all my power
I have served your father
and your father hath been with me
and you have deceived me
and changed my wages ten times
but God suffered him not to hurt me.
So, you know, Jacob is,
you know, the Lord is with Jacob.
He's telling him it's time for him to go home,
go back to his land
and he's explaining this to his wife
saying, you know, it's time for me to go.
You know how your father has mistreated me
but despite that God has protected me.
He's blessed me.
And obviously he's being a little self-righteous here
because he's making it seem as though
he's done nothing wrong, right?
But obviously he has been deceptive
and the Lord's blessed him
despite that.
It says he's changed his wages ten times ten
in the Bible.
It's often a number of tribulation
and testing.
So he changes his wages ten times
throughout these 20 years
and we can say that Jacob has been tested
for these last 20 years.
Okay? God's working on him.
Skip down to verse
number 13.
It says, I am the God of Bethel
where thou anointest the pillar
and with thou vows to valentine me
now arise and get thee out from this land
and return into the land of thy kindred
and Rachel and Leah answered and said unto him
is there yet any portion or inheritance
for us in our fathers' house?
Are we not counted of him strangers?
For he hath sold us
and hath quite delivered
or devoured also our money
for all the riches which God
hath taken from our father, that is ours
and our children's now then
whatsoever God hath said unto thee do.
So, what do we have here?
Jacob's just like, hey, your dad's being this way
this is what's going on.
So now Jacob is making
his wives' minds
evil affected against their father.
Right?
Because they're saying all these things
and then what do you have the daughters doing?
They're like, well, yeah, he has kind of taken our riches, hasn't he?
And we don't really have an inheritance.
Yeah, let's get out of here.
And what do they end up doing?
Rachel ends up stealing
from her father.
So it's wrong on both sides, right?
This is a very dysfunctional family.
They're just liars
they're deceiving each other, they're slanders
they're just doing wrong
in this area, okay?
It says in verse 17
then Jacob rose up
and set his sons on his wives upon camels
and carried away all his cattle and all his goods
which he had gotten, the cattle of his getting
which he had gotten in Pandanaram
for to go to Isaac his father in the land of Canaan
and Laban went to shear his sheep
and Rachel had stolen the images
that were her father's
and Jacob stole away unawares
to Laban the Syrian
and that he told him not
that he fled. So we still see here
some semblance of fear
in doubt in the heart
of Jacob. Why? Well, God
is the one telling him go home
but yet he's still being sneaky about it.
He's like afraid of Laban
he doesn't say anything so he secretly
leaves Laban
and takes off without saying anything
whereas what he should have done is just gone to Laban
and say, hey, my time's up
I'm leaving right now
and regardless of what happens
I hope God blesses you
you've already been blessed
and so it's time to part ways and so forth
but obviously because he's a liar
he's deceptive, he's kind of sneaky
he ends up leaving unawares
and as we see here Rachel ends up stealing
from her father. It says in verse
number 21
so he fled with all that he had
and he rose up and passed over the river
and set his face towards Mount Gilead
and it was told Laban on the third day
that Jacob was fled. He took his brethren
with him and pursued after him seven days journey
and they overtook him into Mount Gilead
and God came to Laban the Syrian
in a dream by night and said to him
take heed that thou speak not
Jacob to Jacob either good
or bad. Now look Jacob
is a deceiver but man he does have
the Lord with him in a big way right
and I don't necessarily
think that it's because of Jacob's character
because he's just a man of integrity
obviously the overarching
theme here is that God
is trying to get a job done through
these men okay through
Abraham through Isaac
through Jacob and so he's
just trying to like you know he's
essentially winking at
the flaws of these men right
and so Laban
it sounds like
Laban intends to harm Jacob
which is why God has to come to him and
say hey don't speak anything good
or bad it's kind of like a threat like
don't you do anything to him because
obviously he's the Lord is with him here
verse 25 says then Laban overtook Jacob
now Jacob had pitched his tent in the
Mount and Laban with his brother pitched
in the Mount of Gilead and Laban said
to Jacob what is thou done
that thou has stolen away unawares to
me and carried away my daughters as
captives taken with the sword wherefore
didst thou flee away secretly
and steal away from me and didst
not tell me that I might have sent
thee away with mirth and with songs with
tabern with harp okay let's just be honest
though Laban you wouldn't have done that
you've kept them here for 20 years
okay you would have just
looked for another reason to keep
them there but you know
Laban is just as deceptive as the other so
you know verse 28 and
has not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters
thou has done
thou has now done foolishly in doing so
it is in the power of my hand
to do you hurt but the God of your father
spake unto me yesterday saying take thou
heed that thou speak not
to Jacob either good or bad and now
though thou wouldst needs be gone because
thou soar longest after thy father's house
yet wherefore has thou stolen my gods
and Jacob answered and said to
Laban because I was afraid
for I said for adventure that would
us take by force thy daughters
from me so
you know we have a sticky situation here
because Jacob doesn't know that Rachel has
stolen the gods
now this is also demonstrating
that lay us probably
more righteous than Rachel right
you know she's the one
who's tender-eyed she's the one who has
the most children by Jacob and
she's the one who's not stealing the gods
now we don't know the exact motive
as to why Rachel stole the gods
it could be that they had some
monetary value
to them but regardless
this is theft right
this is theft she's being
deceptive she's doing this without the knowledge
of her husband ok
and so this is wrong and Jacob
is just kind of like well I was afraid
this is why I left secretly
skip down to verse number
33 says Laban went into
Jacob's tent and lay us tent
and into the two maidservants tents but he found them not
then went he out of lay us tent
and entered into Rachel's tent
now Rachel had taken the images
and put them in the camel's furniture
and sat upon them and Laban
searched all the tent but found them not
and she said to her father
let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise up
before thee for the custom of women is upon me
and he searched but found not the images
so she just lied she was just sitting on them right
now what do we learn from this
well we learn
that Rachel
is a bad daughter
and she's a bad wife
because she's keeping things from her
biblical authority
and I guarantee you that's not the first time she's lied
ok
and look folks it's important for us to realize
that first and foremost
lying is wrong
but it's especially bad if a wife
lies and keeps things from her spouse
where does it begin
by keeping things from your dad
ok and so
you know we need to recognize that
honesty is always the best
policy we need to be
virtuous people of truth
of honesty and daughters make sure
you don't keep things from your dad
be honest
with your parents be honest with your father
and you know sometimes people
one of the reasons people lie and keep things
from their parents is because they're afraid of the repercussions
or they're afraid
what's my parent
what are my parents gonna think of me
if they find out that I lied about this
or that I did this particular thing
but let me just tell you this
it's better for you to just fess up
ok and come clean with your parents
rather than having your parents
find out that you lied
find out that you stole
find out that you did something wrong and sinful
and then they're extremely disappointed
I'm telling you right now as a parent
as a parent
I would rather my kids come to me
and confess what they've done
and you know what
I'll be very merciful to them
I have that policy in my home
that if my kids
confess to me without me knowing
I'm not talking about like I caught them and they confess
I'm talking about
they come to me and they confess
that they've done wrong
I will be very lenient with them
now I'm not saying they won't receive
any type of punishment
I'm just saying that they won't receive
as severe punishment as they would have
if I would have caught them
I do believe parents should be merciful
I think we should be gracious
but listen to me kids
you need to make sure that you don't keep things
from mom and dad
be honest with them
these are your God given authorities
these are your best friends
that you will ever have
before you get married
and it's important for you to recognize
that you need to be just transparent with your parents
and let me tell you something kids
Satan
tries to keep you from telling the truth
to your parents all the time
Satan tries to keep you
harboring lies
and not telling the truth
because he wants you to develop
a habit of just bearing false witness
lying and stealing and doing wrong
all the time that always happens
Satan wants you to keep that covered
because he's constantly whispering to you
they're going to get mad if they find out about this
they're going to be disappointed
oh this is going to happen
just don't tell them
but you got to make sure that you don't give heed
to the temptations of Satan
and just say I need to come clean with my mom and my dad
and your relationship will always be better
with your parents if you just be honest with them
and look folks, kids listen up
your parents love you
and there's nothing too crazy you can tell your parents
don't everything like yeah but this is really crazy
nothing too crazy
your parents are not going to be like
first of all your parents probably did worse
I'll just be honest with you
it's just very likely okay
but secondly your parents love you
your parents care for you
your parents are there to raise you in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord
they're there to help you
through that situation
to help you to confess it before the Lord
to get it right with God
and so you can move on
and look one of the worst things that you can do
as a kid is this
listen to me is keep guilt in you
it's the worst thing you can do
it's like this nasty cloud
that just looms over you all the time
knowing that you're keeping things from your parents
it's a nasty cloud it's called guilt
it's called fear
guilt of being found out
but let me tell you if you want that to be completely removed
you just go to mom and dad and say
I have something to tell you and I'm sorry
and you can break down you can cry
and just say I did wrong and this is what I did
and you know what the cloud goes away
mom and dad forgive you
you might suffer a little punishment
but you know what compared to what would happen
if you just carried on with that lie
carried on with that deception
having that cloud of guilt looming over you
that cloud grows
over the years and over the months
well get it right with your mom and dad
tell them be honest with them
and be transparent with them so you don't have to live that way
okay
and let me say this if you develop
a habit of lying to your parents
listen to me you will eventually
become a person who lies to your spouse
you end up developing the habit
of lying to your husband
and lying to your wife
that's exactly how it is
and you know what it's wrong to lie to our spouses
it's wrong to
keep things from our spouses
because we don't want them to find out
unless you're getting them a gift or something like that
we still got this money here
no one ever claimed a $10
we got such an honest church
anyways
don't keep things from your spouse
and don't say don't tell mom
don't tell dad
this is our little secret
that's wicked
that's a godless thing to do
lying to your
teaching your kids
just passing on that generational curse
to them
okay but this is our little secret
don't say anything
you're teaching your kids
mom doesn't respect dad's authority
it's okay to lie to dad
because dad is someone
that we just lie to
because we respect mom and mom is telling me
that I can lie to dad
it's evil it's wicked
it's a godless thing to do
but it's for their own good
you're destroying your family
and you're destroying
the character of your children as well
okay
have a policy of honesty
and you know what
Rachel had no problem just lying to her dad
and keeping that from Jacob as well
we need to make sure we're just honest
okay
and if my wife came to me
and said let me see your search history
like what go for it
another night
are you gonna see his like
anti-jew videos
or you know
let me see your search history
you're gonna see racist memes
you know
you're gonna see stuff about editing
you're gonna see whatever
well let me see your dm's
go for it
you'll see a lot of unopened messages
first and foremost
you know
now if that worries you
like oh man I don't know
see that's a problem
my wife can go through my phone at any given time
I got nothing to hide
you know
if there's something bad on there
just say sorry
say you know what
I don't know how that got there
I don't know what happened
I legitimately don't know
and here's the thing folks
is that you know what honesty does
it allows you to accumulate trust
in your bank
ok so in case you know
something you know does happen
and it looks suspicious because you just have a good track record
she's not gonna think
he's not gonna think that you're up to something
you're just a trustworthy person
there you go
right
and here's the great thing about being an honest person
you don't gotta keep her
seats
of things that you've said in the past
you know
just tell the truth all the time
tell the truth all the time
be an honest individual
and you don't have to worry like oh man I gotta keep track of my lies
or something
ok
Rachel's over here stealing false gods
and I'm sure Jacob would have been pissed
he would have been super mad
she got the virgin Mary
the equivalent
she's sitting under it
you know that she got from her dad
her dad probably got from her
his Mexican you know grandma
whatever
you know they're not Mexican
but you know she's keeping that for whatever reason
just not telling you
and Jacob over here is like saying like
whoever's hand it's found in let them die
you know
and then you know Rachel's doing that monkey meme
she's like
oh dang you know
cause he's just like
no one is an idolater in my home
uh Rachel is
Rachel got a false god with her
she stole from her father
she lied to her father and she's lying to you
you know
we need marriages that are just honest
with each other
not deceptive
not keeping things from your spouse
obviously I'm not talking about gifts
alright
my wife doesn't really have to work hard
at keeping gifts from me cause I'm just extremely
oblivious to that stuff
she can literally keep a gift in my office
if I walk by I'll look at it
and not think of it cause I'm just so
model minded I'm like that's a box
alright let's move on and I just don't notice things
like she doesn't have to
hide Christmas gifts from me
she could put it in plain sight and I probably just wouldn't see it
but you know what
other than that you should just not keep anything else
from your spouse
you know be an honest person
your spouse is not your enemy
they're not your adversary
and
the more you think that they are
the more miserable you're going to be
in your marriage
ok
you guys are a team
and so you know
Rachel is
no bueno
ok
she almost got herself killed
and you know
she's stealing false gods
I mean she's just like what are you
you're an idolater
like jacob pride doesn't even know that
so you're just like some
secret
worshipper of idols
what the heck
do you think no one's going to find out about this
like later she's just hiding it's crazy
you know
and look
if you have a spouse
that is strict about finances
don't try to hide purchases
right
like oh I don't want them to know
what I'm buying or whatever
you know be honest
and if you have trouble with spending then you know
get that
you know compare with your spouse
and say look this is what I want to buy
these are the things that I like to buy
and so you know
I'm not trying to keep this from you
but this is you know I like to buy apple pies
when I'm at work or something you know
I like to go to McDonald's
you know
don't be a person who's just hiding purchases
you're hiding things you're just a
deceptive person always
because you're afraid to be found out
you know your spouse already knows
that your clothes stink
they already know your flaws
they know the areas that you
fall short in
you're one with them
and so keep it that way
that you know
you're honest with them you're telling the truth
you're not hiding things from them
okay
and for sure let me also say this
and I could just finish off here because the rest of the story
you know they just kind of
they make a covenant between each other
they're not going to overstep their boundaries
blah blah blah and so forth
and then Laban just goes away
by the way this is a good chapter
to learn from
of what type of in-law you shouldn't be
don't be Laban
because Laban
he could just kiss his family goodbye
right
he could just kiss his family goodbye
because you know what Jacob's probably never going to bring
the kids and the wives
to go see
Laban anymore because he just doesn't like Laban
okay
whereas look if you play your cards right
parents
right you play your cards right
you know you don't have to worry about
oh man I'm never going to see him again
well if you're a good in-law you don't have to worry about that
they're going to bring him to you
but if you're just an unbearable
in-law
you're just constantly criticizing
you're wronging the spouse
you're doing all this evil stuff
you're being deceptive
you guys just can't get along
then guess what you probably won't see him again
and you know what we see here
that this is a good example of instances
where in-laws just have to separate
geographically sometimes
that's what
no amen's on that alright
scaredy cats
you know sometimes that's a good idea
look I get along
fairly well with my in-laws
because we're kind of far away from each other
you know
but I do get along with my in-laws
I make sure there's enough cities
between us
okay
sometimes I miss them
and sometimes I'll tell my wife
hey let's go see your family
because we haven't seen them
and we'll go see them
and then you know
once a year
you know but
the thing is that the distance
allows the heart to grow fonder
and therefore we're not at each other's necks
and obviously there was a time
early on in my marriage
where we were bumping heads a lot
and I was just kind of like in my mind
like you're never going to see
these kids ever again
kiss them goodbye
and the Lord is with me on this
you know and you know what really just
ticks me off about this story
just ticks me off
and it ticks off any
you know
red-blooded testosterone
man
is when Laban's like these are my daughters
these are my kids
these are my sons
and these are just like
what bro
no these are my wives
and these are my kids
they don't belong to you
you know Laban suffered a major consequence there
you know he could have been
he could have been like you know what
you're right you know he should be
like Jethro
Jethro is actually a really good father-in-law
he's an awesome father-in-law
and bro might be a pagan too
I don't know he's a priest
a medium that's all we know about him
but sometimes the children
of this world are much wiser than the children
of light
and you know you know because you have
Moses he sends back his wife
because she's just too contentious
she's big problems
okay
and then you know
because she's toxic
and then you know what does Jethro do
he brings her back
the funny thing about that story
is that when he brings her back
Moses doesn't go and hug his wife
he goes and he hugs his father-in-law
you know
and then you know Jethro
he's just like I brought your wife
and your children
like he knows his place
and the man is just wise
he gives him a lot of wisdom
and Moses enjoys his company
you know he's hanging out with him
that's a good father-in-law
you know very contrasting father-in-laws
here between Jethro and Laban
don't be Laban
and I'm going to work my hardest not to be like Laban
I want to be like Jethro to my son-in-laws
you know
my son-in-laws
you know
but I want to be able to get along with my son-in-laws
love my son-in-laws
have them over
and want them to have me in their lives
my wife in their lives and stuff
but you know we need to be like Jethro
not like Laban though
deceptive
overbearing
just getting involved
in the business
it's not natural my friends
it's not natural
to constantly have your in-laws in your life
just dictating everything that's going on
it's not natural
it's not natural for them to get involved in your marriage
it's not natural to have them get involved
in your child rearing
it's not natural unless you invite them in
let them know their boundaries though
okay
it's not natural
and it makes for a horrible relationship between you and your in-laws
and then you know what's going to happen
your husband Jacob is going to be like
hey we need to move back to Canaan
because I don't like it here anymore
you know
and so
I didn't even know what point I was going to make after that
or before that should I say
I mean that's good
you know
that's a good point to end off on
is that we need to make
what this chapter teaches us more than anything
is first and foremost
don't feel bad if you come
from a
a bad family
you know
just a disruptive family
just completely in disarray
and have all these problems
look because they did too
but what we can learn is that we need to make sure
we know our place
okay
we need to make sure that we know
that we need to be honest with our spouse
be kind
to our in-laws
be kind to our son-in-laws
be kind to our daughter-in-laws
and stay out of their business
okay
but if you get anything from this sermon get this
just understand this
we can't play favorites with people
especially if we're all on the same team
okay
and so let's pray. Father we thank you so much for your word
and thank you for these examples
that we have here Lord
help us as your people
to adopt these
principles Lord
we need to be honest with our spouses
we have a society that promotes deception
and
being deceptive towards husbands
and towards wives and keeping things from them
and keeping relationships
secret Lord
it's a godless thing to do
men should not have
secret relationships with other people
that their wife doesn't know about
it's a godless thing to do
it should be as open as possible
and I pray that you would
help us Lord as your people
to keep honesty in our
marriage and transparency
as well
and also Lord as I mentioned in the beginning
I pray that you would help us to be diplomatic in church
to not favor one over
the other to the point where we begin
to exclude others
and think evil of others
because of situations in the past
and I pray that you bless us as we go on our way Lord
we love you we thank you pray this things in Jesus name
Amen